Father had to choose which twin to save

I can imagine it--- this one time my cousin was kidnapped and her parents came to find her, and the kidnappers made her choose whether her mom (Aunt claire) or Dad (Uncle James), and she chose her mom, because she knew somebody who's mom died and turned into a miserable grump. Plus, she would later need boy and clothes/shopping advice. She was 12 then and is now 17, and I have missed my Uncle James dearly, my mother is a sad mess crying once an hour, Dianne (My cousin) is ridden with guilt, regret, and wishing that she had just let her kidnappers kill her instead, Dianne wonders if she did the right thing, Aunt Claire is an overprotective sad mess almost exactly like my mother. And life pretty much SUCKS for all of us, and we all wonder if it had been better if Aunt Claire or Dianne had died instead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what about life preservers, sad loss either way....so few words to say for such a tragedy

As much as I do not want to appear callous; I agree with Baron. He said it quite eloquently--it is a horrible situation this father was faced with; and I only hope other parents realize that their experience with canoeing or rafting etc. is paramount to the safety of their children.

Without knowing all of the applicable laws, I will say that all people on the water need PFD's. Past that, I would say this father did what he had to do once they were all in the water. He saved the child he could see. How or why or who is to blame for them being in the water can be sorted out later. In the moment, he had to make a decision that must haunt him. But, if he had hesitated and looked for the child he could not see, he might have lost sight of the boy and lost them both. All of us who have never been faced with such a no-win situation should thank our lucky stars and reserve judgment.

Be quiet about which things you know nothing about. How dare you blame the parents!? What's wrong with you? He took his children out for what was supposed to be a fun day in the water. You have no idea what took place in those moments. You obviously missed the words swift current. You don't know if they knew how to swim. You have no place to judge or place blame on anyone. Furthermore, you are correct and saying you have no idea the pain this father is feeling. So, get off your soap box and stop judging people. This a very sad tragedy and we need to leave this man and his family alone!!

i thought my life was hard and read about what happen to you may god ease your pain and im so sorry you lost your daughter.

wow thats really sad i would of tryed to get both kids at one time

I just want to say, I don't know if I could ever choose between two children. I don't know what I would do. He has courage. I have one child and she is my world. If I had two........just don't know. You are brave.

I think he made the only choice he could. It was fairly certain he could get the boy....but if he had tried for the girl and found she was already gone and he lost both, imagine how much worse he would feel. It is hard...but he did what he had to do. It is so very sad. My heart goes out to him.

I fully agree with Baron. Whatever happened to the legal doctrine of "assumption of the risk?"

Canoes capsize when they are improperly handled. There's no excuse for someone taking eight year old children into dangerous waters. I sympathize with the father, but his to attempt to pass blame and cash in on it is just plain wrong.

He should accept his loss, learn a very hard lessons about accepting responsibility, and get on with his life however hard that may be.

Hello!
The choice was not yours. I am not overly religious,but I believe this time that God chose.

this one time and you had how many cousins taken or kidnapped

First of all It's brave of your son to want you to save his sister's life instead of his own. I can't imagine how you feel to lose a child. I can sympathize with you because of a lost in our family just last year. So, I know the feeling. I just couldn't bare the lost of my child. To the Father that had to make that choice, it will be okay. I am sure your daughter knew the choice you had to make was hard. And I am sure she forgives you. don't think that it's your fault that she is gone. Sometimes we have no control over what happens in our lives. Just know that your daughter loved you before she passed on. You be blessed in the Lord! and also to your family.

Sincerely,
A Person that does understand

It is a devastating situation. However, the parents must assume the responsibility for the safety of their kids. The father should not have taken two eight year old kids on a canoe trip. How is the canoe company liable for the parents negiligence? How could the canoe company predict the condition of the current?
I have empathy for the father. Nevertheless, he is demonstrating poor judgement again; just as he did by putting his children at risk in the first place.
Someone should be asking him the hard questions. Such as why did the kids not have on life preservers...How much experience did he have in canoe...Could the children swim....did he sign a no liability clause prior to renting the canoe..etc

Sadly, I do have to agree with 'Baron.' Even if the twins WERE both wearing life jackets, it would have been much wiser to have had an adult to accompany each of them. As a parent, and grandparent, I can't imagine having approached any activity without first being sure that every base possible was covered! Men, however, are thought of as the stronger, physically .. and so the father probably felt that he HAD done everything needed .. that he could handle whatever arose. My heart goes out to the family .. most especially the twin boy who was saved. He will undoubtedly feel guilt from time to time, even though he was in no way to blame! This is obviously a loving family, as the boy showed such courage and love in making his request that his father 'save his sister first!' NOW, regarding suing the boat lenders .. that could very well be an overreaction .. as they may NOT have done anything wrong. The courts will decide, either way .. at which time the family will then need to reassess their position. Perhaps these things happen to remind us all of our limitations? I am reminded of a saying by John Lennon .. "Life is what happens while you're planning something else." I am very sure that the father of these children WAS doing the best he knew how to do! .. non of us gets though life without a few regrets, just hopefully not this painful!!!

You can easily fiqure out who has kids and who doesn't. Apparently Baron you have none. When it comes to your kids you do what you think is best at that time. If you have never lost a child, please don't be so fast to point fingers. You can loose a mother, father, sister or brother, but when you loose a child it is devasting I have been told. Being a parent I can only imagine the pain this man is feeling. Lets pray for him and not judge him.

@Natissia and @Kimberly
Kimberly, I'm not blaming him per say, I just think that in any situation you choose to take responsibility for some else (kids, parents, friends, etc), you need to make sure everything is as safe as possible. I know that I was taught to swim by my mom around 3 or 4 because she didn't want me around water and not know how to swim. I hope, again, I don't know, that they had on life vests. That should be step number one, after swimming lessons. I know I got stuck out in a rip tide in the ocean around 8 or 10 and I'm sure I would've been gone if I didn't know how to swim.

Natissia, you are correct, I don't have any children yet. Our first one is going to be born in August (well, possibly July if we are looking at the 2 week window the vast majority of children fall in based on due date). You are also correct in that I haven't lost a child, losing friends and family couldn't, I imagine, be the same. If this story had simply said he was forced to choose between the children, that would be one thing, I probably wouldn't have felt anything other than sorrow for the man... But, when I see there is an inquest, whether or not money is involved (as it would be here in America), against the company for not properly telling him about safety concerns, that is what gets me going.

I don't think there is a fault here, at least nothing you can squarely put on any one's shoulders, least of all the canoe company. NOW, again, if there was faulty equipment involved or (now that I think of it based on the few white water trips I have taken) if they did not offer any type of life jacket, then I can understand where the inquest is coming from (unless... there are no such laws over there). Again, I don't think that anyone, unless they are directly in this situation, could ever begin to imagine what it would be like to be forced to choose who to save.

If you didn't want to read all that (I don't blame you!), it all comes down to 1) I don't blame him 2) I don't know the full story 3) I hope no one ever has to feel his pain 4) BUT everyone (me included) needs to take responsibility for the things they do and not try to hold someone else accountable for not explaining it could be dangerous (AGAIN, see points 1 and 2, per point 2, he might not even be involved in the inquest, but it is the inquest that really got me worked up in the first place).

I agree 100% - why would anyone take their children on an adventure and not know how to use the equipment - its not the canoe companys fault the man was ill equipped to handle this. No settlement here.

First let me say in response to Kimberly, this is a very poorly written article. Journalism is supposed to be complete and accurate. This piece certainly isn't complete (re: PFD's) so who know's whether it's accurate.

Having said that, if this were the US - and this gentleman filed a law suit and won, the settlement would be paid by, that's right, you and me (via higher insurance premiums and or higher costs for recreation services and the like.) In my view, those who are going to be paying for the costs of the lawsuit, are entitled to make any judgment they want.