Dan Bucatinsky: More Than I Can Chew
Father had to choose which twin to save
Filed under: In The News, Playground Bureau
British TV presenter Ian Clayton is sharing a heartbreakingly painful story in court in an attempt to protect more families from the tragedy that occurred to his two years ago.
While vacationing in Wales, Clayton rented a canoe to take his eight-year-old twins on a day trip. When their vessel capsized and the fast-moving water swept the family downstream, the father was faced with a Sophie's Choice situation: should he save the son he could see being quickly taken downstream or stay with the overturned canoe and look for the daughter that might still be trapped under it?
The agonized father decided to go for the child being swept out of sight, in spite of the boy's brave directive to "Save my sister first." He managed to get the boy out of the water and to the safety of the riverbank, but it was too late for his daughter, Billie.
When testifying at the inquest against the canoe company being investigated for renting the boats without giving proper warning or training to customers, it's clear the grieving father is still heartbroken. "'It is such a tragedy and people say that tragedy gets better with time. But it doesn't. The pain is still the same today, two years and two months after."
Just as every parent suspects, having to make a choice like that is something that haunts a person even as they sleep.
"Sometimes I dream that I saved Billie instead. I will never know if I made the right decision."
I can handle being called an overprotective, hand-wringing, worrywart basket case. What I don't think I could ever handle would be to find myself in a situation like this. Even imagining it is too painful.
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ReaderComments (Page 5 of 14)
6-17-2008 @ 9:11PM
teresa said...What a tragedy!!! I can't even imagine being in that situation. My heart goes out to the father, the mother and the brother.
To the ones that are saying about the kids not wearing lifejackets, please read the whole story, they were.
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6-17-2008 @ 9:17PM
bc said...he made the right choice to go after the one he could see and the one who said "save sister first"
the one he can't see he may never find or found dead
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6-17-2008 @ 9:15PM
sherry said...I dont think the quesiton is if he saved the right kid? geez, how does he think that the surviving kid must feel after hearing that?
I would take my kids out in a canoe, but with lifejackets. Some poeple won't get their own butt into a canoe, so they are being a little harsh here.
This was a horrible accident. You save the first one you can, and then hope to go back after the other. Its not a choice on who you save.
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6-17-2008 @ 9:18PM
Maze said...This is so horrible, I could never imagine being in a situation as that.
Cleo, you are a moron. WTF? are you thinking? go back to your trailer.
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6-23-2008 @ 11:35AM
Bunny said...Clayton: I am very sorry for your sadness. I can promise you that your family will be together again!! I believe that families are eternal and will live again as a family forever. Your little girl has gone home to her Father in Heaven and she was met by many family members of yours that have gone to the other side of the veil. Our spirits never die! This sweet daughter of God was called home for a very special reason not known to us. She will be waiting for you when it is your turn to leave this earth and be with Father in Heaven and all your family members! God knows you and loves you. Bunny
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6-17-2008 @ 9:25PM
Kit said...No one who wasn't in his skin at that moment can know--but I believe that he made the right decision. It wasn't really a Sophie's Choice circumstance--because the father was in the situation where he could SEE one child, one he could possibly save, and the instinct is to do so! Also, if he had time to think, the other child MIGHT have been in a better spot, (underneath in a breathing space) or not, but searching for the missing child could easily lead to the loss of both. He should sleep well--and the living sibling can rest well too, knowing he had the incredible depth of character to actually ask his Dad to save his sister first. What an incredible young man--and he can also rest assured that he and his Dad have a beautiful guardian angel in the lost sister, who is not lost at all but is watching over them from the hereafter.
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6-17-2008 @ 9:26PM
anita said...May God Bless you and be with you always, Give you the peace you need to go on with your life what a difficult decision you had to make I can only imagine. But God has his way and his plan for you and your other child is far more greater than you can imagine for yourself. He has another angel protecting you. She will always be in your heart. GOD BLESS YOU.
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6-17-2008 @ 9:23PM
Tina Rogers said...God I would never want to make that choice..I would rather die than one of my children..My son died from cancer 10 years ago and I wish it was me instead of my son...I would give my life in a heart beat to save one of my children....I really feel for this family,I'm so terribly sorry for your loss....
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6-17-2008 @ 9:27PM
Steph said...Laying the blame will not solve this man's problem, nor should he remain mired in the past. There used to be a time where accidents were accidents or even an act of God. Yes, it would have been a good idea to learn about the safety of canoing, but seeing as how he was the one who made the decision to take his children canoeing and realizing a possiblity of risk, he ought to have inquired. To my knowledge, there is no such thing as a canoe license. Futhermore, nature is nature and as much as we damage it, it still is a force to be reckoned with. My heart does goes out to the family. What a terrible tragedy and that is exactly what it was. They were probably having one of the best times before the situation became dire. The family should focus on the surviving child and continue to raise him in the way he demonstrated himself, altruistic, wanting his sister saved.
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6-17-2008 @ 9:36PM
ali said...why sue the canoe company, my god, take some responsibility
why dident he have life jackets, why dident he talk to his
children, about saftey..
this isnt the canoes's fault, im sorry about think, about what
you do with your own children, and take responsibilty
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6-21-2008 @ 2:02PM
Roberto M. Del said...I feel sad for the man If he reads this this is what I have to say
remember this is just a test from God at least your daghter is in
a better place
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6-17-2008 @ 9:35PM
Christine said...I bought a canoe last year and took 2 of my daughters and my step daughter on a trip. The first thing i did before even putting it in the water was make sure their life jackets were on even though they didnt want to wear them. My exact words to them were " God forbid if something happens I cant save all three of you". Did the father take safety precautions to avoid this accident? We have to start taking responsibility for our actions and quit blamming everyone else. We as adults should not have to be told that small children around water is dangerous. Its very sad that this happened and I feel very bad for the father and son.
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6-17-2008 @ 9:35PM
siitlnprncss said...I feel bad for this man, I can't even imagine to choose which child to save
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6-17-2008 @ 9:38PM
Dianne said...I am so sorry for your loss and I do know the pain you are suffering, my 15yr. old daughter was murdered and it is 20 years later and still unsolved. I suffer daily and see doctors monthly for the post traumatic stress I suffer. They say it gets easier with time but I don't believe that. I wish you well and hope you get help for your depression.
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6-17-2008 @ 10:33PM
Cathy Metcalf said...Dear Dianne:
If you can find a place where you can get music therapy. Music is very healing.
I'm so sorry for your loss. My daughter was the victim of a kidnapping and horrible crime when she was young. She survived, but our lives have been a nightmare- even 8 years later.
I am a music teacher and in the last year and a half- music therapy has worked when psyciatrists, medicine, and counseling could only do so much.
6-17-2008 @ 9:39PM
Kat said...Dear God, what was he thinking? Never place your children in a situation where even by chance they may be harmed. I hurt for him and the remaining child, but the fault is clearly the fathers.
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6-17-2008 @ 9:44PM
aml said...People sure are quick to judge without having facts. If you click on the link, it says that the father and son were bouyed by their lifejackets, SO THEY WERE WEARING LIFEJACKETS.
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6-17-2008 @ 9:59PM
Cherrie said...It doesn't matter what the facts surrounding this situation are. A father lost his daughter and a boy lost his sister. No matter what led up to the tragic event or who is to blame, if anyone, in this type of situation the fact is that it is a tragedy. My heart goes out to this family and I pray that they will receive some sort of peace.
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6-17-2008 @ 9:42PM
jazzys mom said...Where were the life jackets?? Why is everyone so quick to sue people now days?? Sorry for your loss but sometimes people need to think before they do something & take responsibility for their actions. Dad is to blame hear for several reasons!! Dad needs to put blame where it belongs. No amout of money will bring his child back. Again sorry for your loss & God Bless your family!
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6-17-2008 @ 9:44PM
Richard said...A canoe is a challenge even on a calm lake, and to take kids out on a fast moving river is stupid.at best WITHOUT A LIFE JACKET ON IS BORDERING ON CRIMINAL. But I do feel sorry for him, and his terrible loss. But the canoe rental company is not in the business of training canoe rental patrons, they are in the business to rent canoes and provide life jackets. If you choose not to wear them it is not the canoe rental agencys fault.
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