Hot on HuffPost Parents:
Franne Golde and Syd Fox: Love More, Fear Less: A Mother and Her…
Dr. Peggy Drexler: The Breadwinner Complex: Are Women Apologizing For…
High school girls make pregnancy pact
Filed under: Teens, In The News, Single Parenting, Sex
Earlier this year, when an unusually high number of girls began showing up in the Gloucester High School clinic asking for pregnancy tests, school officials began to wonder what was going on. Was it a fluke? Was it the influence of movies like Juno and Knocked Up? No, it was actually something much more disturbing : a group of girls at the Massachusetts high school had made a pact that they would all get pregnant and raise their babies together. By the time school was out for the summer, seventeen of them had succeeded in getting knocked up. On purpose.
What on earth would possess a group of high school girls to do this? Former student Amanda Ireland thinks she knows. She gave birth during her freshman year at Gloucester and says the reaction from her fellow students was not what you would expect. She wasn't shunned or pitied. She says she was envied by girls who wanted what they thought she was getting from her child: love. "They're so excited to finally have someone to love them unconditionally," Ireland says. "I try to explain it's hard to feel loved when an infant is screaming to be fed at 3 a.m."
Ireland was able to complete her education at Gloucester because the school goes to great lengths to support teen mothers. There is an on-site daycare and babies at school are a common site. But after administering some 150 pregnancy tests by May, the clinic's medical director, Dr. Brian Orr, and the school nurse, Kim Daly, began to advocate prescribing contraceptives without parental consent. That idea was promptly shot down and both have since resigned in protest. "Dr. Orr and Ms. Daly have no right to decide this for our children," says Mayor Carolyn Kirk.
It is a shame those two lost their jobs over it, but a lack of easily available contraceptives is clearly not what got these girls where they are. They didn't want birth control pills, they wanted babies. But why? School superintendent Christopher Farmer blames the economy. The blue-collar fishing town has seen an economic downturn over the past decade and many jobs have disappeared overseas. "Families are broken," he says. "Many of our young people are growing up directionless."
There may be something to that theory, but I suspect it is much more complicated than that. Back in my day, there was a certain stigma attached to teen mothers. Pregnant girls did not attend regular classes and they certainly didn't bring their kids to school with them. Is it possible that this school, and others like it, encourage teens to have children by lessening the consequences? Or is this just an extreme case of group-think in girls too young to know better?
What on earth would possess a group of high school girls to do this? Former student Amanda Ireland thinks she knows. She gave birth during her freshman year at Gloucester and says the reaction from her fellow students was not what you would expect. She wasn't shunned or pitied. She says she was envied by girls who wanted what they thought she was getting from her child: love. "They're so excited to finally have someone to love them unconditionally," Ireland says. "I try to explain it's hard to feel loved when an infant is screaming to be fed at 3 a.m."
Ireland was able to complete her education at Gloucester because the school goes to great lengths to support teen mothers. There is an on-site daycare and babies at school are a common site. But after administering some 150 pregnancy tests by May, the clinic's medical director, Dr. Brian Orr, and the school nurse, Kim Daly, began to advocate prescribing contraceptives without parental consent. That idea was promptly shot down and both have since resigned in protest. "Dr. Orr and Ms. Daly have no right to decide this for our children," says Mayor Carolyn Kirk.
It is a shame those two lost their jobs over it, but a lack of easily available contraceptives is clearly not what got these girls where they are. They didn't want birth control pills, they wanted babies. But why? School superintendent Christopher Farmer blames the economy. The blue-collar fishing town has seen an economic downturn over the past decade and many jobs have disappeared overseas. "Families are broken," he says. "Many of our young people are growing up directionless."
There may be something to that theory, but I suspect it is much more complicated than that. Back in my day, there was a certain stigma attached to teen mothers. Pregnant girls did not attend regular classes and they certainly didn't bring their kids to school with them. Is it possible that this school, and others like it, encourage teens to have children by lessening the consequences? Or is this just an extreme case of group-think in girls too young to know better?
Your<span>Voice</span>
Ask Us Anything About Parenting
RelatedVideos
-
How Do You Start the 'Sex' Talk with Your Kids?
When is the best time to have the sex talk with your kids? How do parents broach the topic? How do you keep from mortifying your children? How do you keep them from learning about the birds and the bees through porn?
-
My Job Paid For My Baby Dreams
Full Segment: Infertility treatments are covered in only a fraction of insurance plans across America. Unfortunately, an infertile couple's job situation and geographic location can end up having a huge effect on the future of their family.
-
Baby Food Basics
It's time to start feeding your baby food purees, but where do you begin? Chef and author Catherine McCord shares tips and ideas for when and what to feed your baby.
-
When Can Children Start Eating Solids?
Is your baby tired of eating mush at every meal? Pediatrician Dr. Jim Sears explains “the squish test” and gives tips on introducing solid foods.
SitesWeLove
- Site Map
- |
- Staff
- |
- Terms of Service
- |
- Privacy Policy
- |
- Trademarks
- |
- Advertise With Us
- |
- About Our Ads
- |
- AOL Downloads
- |
- Contact Us
- |
© Copyright 2012 AOL Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Aol Family
ReaderComments (Page 7 of 7)
6-25-2008 @ 8:47AM
mellonie said...Free nursery care for the baby while you are being paid to stay in school, which means our tax dollars are paying the people to care for the baby in the school nursery, which is built right on the high school campus.
TIME TO MAKE THE FATHERS WORK AND PAY FOR THEIR BABIES...
Reply
6-25-2008 @ 8:48AM
mellonie said...Free nursery care for the baby while you are being paid to stay in school, which means our tax dollars are paying the people to care for the baby in the school nursery, which is built right on the high school campus.
TIME TO MAKE THE FATHERS WORK AND PAY FOR THEIR BABIES...
Reply
6-24-2008 @ 11:32PM
Carolyn said...It's sad that there are 17 pregnancies in the middle-high school, but there was not pact. I work in that city and today the principle admitted he did not hear it directly from the girls... He said he couldn't remember where he had heard it or who had told him. I think he was just lying, but why? The school system is already one of the worst in the district. Why would claiming these girls made a pact make things look better?
Reply
6-25-2008 @ 12:01AM
Macaw60 said...I find it very sad that these girls feel so unloved that they think that having a baby will be the solution. Parents have to wake up and realize that we have a real problem with our kids and we can't expect anyone to solve it for us. I don't know what the solution is, but there are many things that people used to do that they don't do anymore. When I was a kid and did something wrong away from home, my Mom would get a call from the neighbor who saw it and I would have to answer for it when I got home. Call someone now to tell them something like that and they call you a liar and want to know why you are picking on their kid. We also need for businesses to be more understanding about time off from work for people to care for their children. How many times can you tell a small child " sorry I have to work " before they get the idea that your work means more than they do? Children who are raised by day care cannot get the individual attention they need. Values are learned at home by watching how your parents deal with everyday life, not by lectures. I believe that "quality time" has become more a way for parents to get rid of their guilt about not having enough time, so parents tend to spoil the kids and discipline is more difficult to dispense, because the parents don't want to spoil what little time they can spend with their kids on the less pleasent parts of parenthood. We also have to face the reality that at some point our kids are going to learn about sex, whether we talk to them or not. My children learned about sex from me and their father. If they had a question that I couldn't answer we would find the answer together through books. Whether we want to face it or not sex can be deadly to the uninformed. Ignorance is never bliss when it comes to sex. I heard a report not long ago on the news about parents who are sending their kids to someone else to learn table manners. When we are hiring other people to teach something so basic what really important lessons are being overlooked or neglected. Kids can't raise themselves and there is nothing in a childs life as powerful as a parent's influence. We as a nation need to change our thinking about children, they truely are our future, everyones future, even to those who have no children. Someday they will run this country and we need to ask ourselves if we want this country run by people as misguided as these young women.
'
Reply
6-25-2008 @ 12:39AM
TEN said...This message is for BTRFLYHAS84. Well it is simple to say you have done well for Your kids. That's just fine for You and I am happy You have done well.
Now what about the other 99,999 out of 100,000 who are waiting for the welfare/county checks that me and other taxpayers are forking out for their fun! What about all the medical, food stamps, subsidized housing, etc. and it just goes on and on!!! They didn't ask me to help them sire the kid, so why should I and the other taxpayers have to pay for them?
Maybe it is time to let them just handle it on their own and leave the rest of us out of it!
Reply
6-26-2008 @ 6:32PM
Mike said...I read several of the comments,i've seen this problem first hand.I used work for children&youth services.This kind of stuff happens all the time.But it's not the all the parents or the kids fault.When the parents lose the control of their children,because the state allows the school system to hand out pamplets with phone numbers to different gov.agencies.When they give these kids those rights,and parental control is taken away,what would you expect to happen.If the parents were not immediately by the school superintdent,then why is it the parents are being blamed for not being involved more with these girls.To all the parents involved in this,go after the government and the school system,not the guys or kids that got your daughters pregnant.The right was given to them by the system,not you.I believe your all good parents,and wish you the best through this!Good luck.
Reply
6-28-2008 @ 11:07PM
zook said...WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT? NOTHING FOLKS, IT IS ALL MONETARY.
It is good business for these young girls to get pregnant at 15. They will be paid to stay in school. and our tax dollars will also pay ALL their medical bills, pay for all the baby medical bills and hospital bills, pay the child ADC for 18 years, pay the mother welfare and give her section 8 housing. Plus free nursery care in a taxppayer paid facility on the campus of their high school
Reply
6-27-2008 @ 10:52PM
Kathreen said...I know first hand that teen pregnancy still happens. but where i'm from there's still a stigma attached to it. I'm gonna be going into my senior year of high school and since i've been in 8th grade there has been at least one teen pregnancy in my school of 200 kids. Most of those girls are looked down on but they don't lose friends. They always get the option to graduate early if it's their senior year but if it's not they have to find away to work it out. The bigger schools where i live that have child care are looked down upon by others. I know personally teens who make fun of it. A reputation comes along with the school that this is accepted or that they want the teens to have sex. NO you cannot prevent it. These girls wanted to have these babies but someone should have been teaching them the consquences of what can happen and that what they were doing is not normal. Their parents should have been parents and talking to them. Just because your child is a teenager doesn't mean it's time to stop being a parent. That has never stoped mine. I had my first sex talk when i was 10 and then every year since then. Parents being involved is what can help prevent this. Because then they will be giving their child that unconditional love that they are looking for by having a baby.
Reply
7-04-2008 @ 6:01PM
Megan said...Oh my god. I can't believe that they would want to be teen mothers. (no offense to any teen parents) Think about the hardships you'd face? Just because you have a baby doesn't mean they'll love you when they get older.
And I personally believe that they need to make contraceptives avalible. If their parents aren't going to condone in getting them for them, then who is going to make absoloutely sure that they won't get pregnant? Teens go to places like Planned Parenthood because they know their parents wouldn't allow them to ever have sex. They go behind their backs so they don't get yelled at. But the teens that have sex without using protection are risking a lot just to have sex.
Reply
7-05-2008 @ 3:55PM
Tish H said...You know what? People need to get over this. Im 17 years old and have an amazing year and a half old son. I got pregnant half-way through my freshman year and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I was a straight A student, popular, and I was a good girl. I never had sex except one time, and that one time is when i got pregnant.
Im sorry, but having children is part of life. Just because some of us start earlier than those 40 year old women having their first baby doesnt mean that were wrong, or shameful. Im a senior now and Im going to be graduating early. I work 30 hours a week and I am a great mother. My son is brilliant and handsome and he's given me everything in the world. Yeah its hard, but instead of going "shame shame oh the shame" and saying the girls are selfish and blaming the economy and all this, why dont you be supportive? They're having children just like you did. Get over yourselves. Im sorry but i dont want to be 40 years older than my son. I personally am disgusted by the fact that women dont have children until they're close to menopause!
Get over it and be supportive, you got the support why cant you give it to them?
Reply
8-02-2008 @ 3:11AM
arnold414 said...A href=http://www.teensprivateschools.com/>Boys School offers growing opportunity for the boys and excel in the field of education. The school pays greater attention to the students and make them capable to stand and face the challenge of the world.
http://www.teensprivateschools.com/
Reply