Step away from the rice cake
Categories: Toddlers, Mealtime
Parenthood is definitely an ongoing lesson in generosity. As the parent of two small children -- one who is only 4 months old, one who will be three in August -- my days at home with them revolve entirely around their needs and their schedules. I sometimes think it's the most challenging aspect of motherhood: the fact that I often can no longer do what I want, when I want. Like when I want to lie on the couch and flip through a magazine and instead I have to "feed" and "care for" the kids, GOD.
I feel like I'm getting fairly adept at striking a good balance between my own pursuits and child-wrangling -- catching up on freelance work during naptimes, hitting the gym when Daddy can take over for a while, reading books during that one solitary minute between when my head hits the pillow at night and I fall into a slack-jawed, drooling coma -- and while I may sometimes begrudge the unexpected intrusions on such beloved activities as watching Battlestar Galactica without interruption (I tried to introduce a diaper-pooping and bottle-demanding moratorium between 9 and 10 PM on Fridays but the baby totally blew me off) I have to confess there's one particular aspect of parenthood where I have not been able to find my reserves of motherly selflessness, and that is this:
I hate sharing my meals.
There! I said it. I hate sharing my meals with my toddler. I know, could I BE more greedy and selfish and downright miserly? Next I'll be saying how I hate sharing my precious, precious oxygen, and could he breathe somewhere else, that'd be super.
Really, though, I prepare specific diet-friendly amounts of food for my meals, and when my kid gleefully ignores his delicious fattening macaroni and cheese that I would dearly LOVE to eat with my bare hands in favor of picking pieces of tofu out of my low-cal stir fry -- the very same tofu he flat-out refuses to touch if it's offered to him on his own plate -- well, what can I say, I HATE THAT. Ditto: the banana slices in my cereal, pieces of my rice cake, spoonfuls of my yogurt. I love my kid and honestly I would and do give him anything within reason but still: DUDE STOP BOGARTING MY FOOD.
Does your kid do this too? Or do you not notice, because why would you care if your sweet child wanted some of your food, it's not like you're some kind of SELFISH HAG.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Elizabeth 6-20-2008 @ 9:02AM
No, my son does it too. He's right about the same age as your son as well. Chicken, while apparently a terrible, vicious poision on his own plate, is somehow magically and irresistibly tempting when on my plate or my husband's. Salad? Wonderfully delicious in Mommy's bowl, but somehow vile and unacceptable in his own. I also find it very frustrating. Frankly, though, given his recent determination to survive mainly on air and a pinch of salt, I'll gladly let him nibble at my sandwich while delcaring that he does not like his own. Nevermind that they're two halves of the same sandwich.
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Leigh 6-20-2008 @ 10:06AM
My kid is 14 (years not months) and I still feel that way. I am a selfish hag. I am so glad you wrote this, I feel better having company.
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Dawn 6-20-2008 @ 10:38AM
"DUDE STOP BOGARTING MY FOOD."
Ha! I thought only people on the east coast said this.
My 2 year old would take the toast right out of my hand if I let her. We are working hard on please right now but mostly it's a delay tactic so I can cram the rest of it into my mouth.
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Judy 6-20-2008 @ 10:51AM
Both of my boys do this - age 2 and 4 - but the 2 yo is worse. I eat a lot of really, really hot spicy food, too, and he still wants it, and often lately has been eating stuff that is too spicy for most adults!
I've tried taking his food, putting it on my plate, and giving him bites of that, but NOPE, he's got that one figured out.
The two things that bother me the most are sharing my drink (almost always water, but then I end up with so much baby backwash in it - gross! - that I pour it out and get a new one) or when they haven't wanted any and take the LAST BITE of whatever I'm eating. I'm freakish there - I sometimes set it up so the very last bite is all filled with flavor and yum, and then one of them takes it from me!!!!!!
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maria 6-20-2008 @ 11:18AM
Oh my yes - my daughter esp likes to wheedle the last bite of my peanut butter English muffin from me - but yeah - pretty much anything - and all 3 kids do it. The 8 yr old's out grown it - but the 6 & 4 yr olds still do it. Mommy's tastes better;)
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mj12 6-20-2008 @ 11:20AM
I use this personality flaw, or should I say trait, against my 3 year old self proclaimed non-eater. I only make one dinner, so everything on everyone's plate is identical. If you don't like it, you don't eat, simple....you see I am the most horrible kind of hag!
Anyhow, what I do is let her pick at her plate for a while then once she declares she's not hungry, doesn't like chicken, or whatever tactic she decides to use for that mealtime I simply say "OK, if you don't want it I'll eat yours too, since I absolutely love it." Usually I have to take a bite of something on her plate which sends her into a state of panic and she eats her supper! It's magic I tell you!
Perhaps you should make yourself extra, put a couple horrible food items on his plate then when he starts picking at yours you can offer to share and scoop some onto his plate. Or perhaps it’s the location of the food that makes the difference? Who can tell what’s going on in a 3 year old’s mind!
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Sleepynita 6-20-2008 @ 11:27AM
My son refuses to eat meat (and exists on a diet of milk, juice, cucumbers and cheerios), yet this week alone he was given ribs on his plate (forgetaboutit) and ate mine instead. Last night he had steak (again forgetaboutit) but wanted Daddys steak and he ate a ton of it. Go figure.
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Jenn 6-20-2008 @ 1:58PM
It doesn't bug me so much right now because for some reason she mostly only wants what Daddy's eating :)
But she ALWAYS tries to steal my dessert, even if we both have a single scoop of vanilla ice cream....she only wants mine! And G-D FORBID I should just switch the bowls.....
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Angelique 6-20-2008 @ 2:53PM
It bothers me more when my husband tries to eat off my plate. Usually my one-year old only wants bites of my lime popsicle (Trader Joes Lime Floes). Go figure.
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Kristi 6-20-2008 @ 3:06PM
My 15 month old assumes that my plate is merely his second course, to be attended to once his first course has been satisfactorily thrown onto the floor. And if I'm eating ice cream? Then, it's not *my* ice cream, it's his. I'm just the mechanical feeding arm that shovels it into his mouth. Should I aspire to eating a bite or two myself, he will howl the top of his lungs as if I am physically dragging it out of his mouth (that's really fun in public places when everyone in the room will see how evil and demented I am for stealing the baby's candy!).
And to think, my fondest wish lately is to eat a meal in the company of adults (NOT at my desk at work) where I have to neither cut someone else's food or share my own.
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Xanzmom 6-21-2008 @ 7:10PM
We have food allergies in our house (hubby allergic to soy, daughter allergic to milk/eggs/tomatoes, me allergic to... nothing) so I'm used to fixing different meals. However, I'm a different kind of hag: I hate eating/drinking after my child. I also won't eat anything made by her unless I helped her make it and I know what her hygeine was like during the cooking process. Does that make me horrible?
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Kim 6-21-2008 @ 9:27PM
What? Just the kids? My family went to Disney World. The five of us all had chocolate ice cream, but with different toppings. My husband - the I only eat healthy food person - insisted on eating my chocolate ice cream with cookie chunks. In what way was my chocolate ice cream different? Why the sudden urge to switch from nuts to cookie chunks?
I feel like I'm living with a wild dog pack. (Just like my sheltie) I feel I need to push into some small corner of the table and protect my dish of luke-warm food. (Of course, everyone gets served prior to me.) I feel at any moment the scavengers are going to attack. From 54, 10, 9 years olds, and a 15 month old - I don't think they will ever stop.
My husband actually laughed at me when I told him if he wants to eat something - order it - my plate is not a buffet table.
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bremarie03 6-21-2008 @ 10:25PM
I'm selfish like that, too. When I used to do Weight Watchers points system, I flat-out refused to share. I would make them their own helping of the exact same thing, but I wouldn't share my own. If I was using points, every last morsel was going to go in MY mouth, ithankyouverymuch.
So, no. Not just you.
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Vicky 6-22-2008 @ 6:08AM
I have an 19 month old, and a 3 year old. They're scavengers. They're like flys at a picnic. They'll eat anything off my plate. NOTHING off of theirs. I still need to lose 30lbs from having both of them close together and yet they eat my food and my 3 year old reminds me to go to the gym every morning.
You're right though.... it is annoying. The ONE THING in the world that could possibly be called your own is getting shared by a rug rat. It urks me too.
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Shauna 6-24-2008 @ 1:27PM
Ha - it's just like that Friends episode: "Joey doesn't share food!!!"
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Liz 6-24-2008 @ 1:58PM
I read this and realized I'm using this habit as another reason not to watch my eating like I should be. So much easier to justify something when my daughter "shared" it with me...she must have eaten most of it anyway, right? :)
I wonder at what point and in what ways do we start teaching kids that they have to share with Mommy too.
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Christy 8-08-2008 @ 1:18AM
I know this post is old, but I'm new and....
I think I love you.
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