From tots to High School Musical

by Rachel Campos-Duffy (Subscribe to Rachel Campos-Duffy's posts) Jun 24th 2008 8:00AM

Categories: Toddlers, Kids 5-7, Kids 8-11, Development, In The News, Media

"She went straight from Disney princess to High School Musical," complains one mom in an article titled "Parents fret as as tots love 'High School Musical."

As Disney shows such as Hannah Montana and High School Musical (HSM) predictably make their way down the marketing food chain, there is growing concern among parents that adolescent themes like boyfriends and break-ups are now being digested by two and three-year olds. Today, it's not unusual for a four year-old to have a High School Musical birthday party or to proclaim Sharpay, HSM's superficial, Jimmy Choo wearing mean girl to be her "favorite character." So long Cinderella.

I have sounded off on this disturbing trend often in my blogs and I stand by my position that the sexualization of childhood via entertainment, toys, and clothes is one of the most insidious forces facing young kids -- especially young girls.

It's not easy to safeguard childhood given the corporate marketing onslaught and the fact that so many kids are steeped in what now passes for "kid culture."

So what's a mom to do? My strategy is to stick to my guns. If I can postpone a premature adolescence by even a couple of years, it will be worth it. I set age-appropriate boundaries and explain them in a way that my children can understand and explain to their peers if questioned about it.

Of course, they want to know why their friends can watch these shows when they can't. I simply tell them that all families have different rules. This won't be the first time where ours differs from those of other families. In our home, I explain, kids watch and play with kid stuff because being a kid is FUN and there is no need to rush it. I assure them that there will be plenty of time for tween and teen things in the future. So far, this explanation has been satisfactory. I used a similar tact with the Bratz Dolls: "I want you to play with a doll that looks like you. This doll looks kind of mean and wears so much make-up. She doesn't look very fun."

This year our 8 year-old daughter attended a party where High School Musical was shown. She informed the girls that she isn't allowed to watch "teenager movies" and an animated G-rated film was played instead. She also left the room when the conversation turned to things she recognized that we would not like her to be part of. I didn't expect that to happen, but it did and I was proud of her. It happened to be the day before Mother's Day and I told her it was the best present she could have ever given me.

This weekend, she attended Girl Scout camp by herself for the first time. Initially, I had flashbacks of all those "camp" movies where the bad girls talk the other girls into compromising dares and rites of initiation involving boys. Luckily, camp came on the heels of her very commendable (and courageous) conduct at the birthday party. I let her go.

As the bus drove off, I thought to myself, "First Girl Scouts, then college." It goes so fast. That's precisely why she should be a little girl as long as she can.

Comments (17)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

Karrie 6-24-2008 @ 10:35AM

I applaud you Rachel! My daughter just turned 12 and I hear so many mom's say to me, "I can't believe your daughter still plays with dolls!" I think it is sad to think that she shouldn't! The thing that is weird is that I find myself holding my daughter back more than my son. Granted he is only 7, but I don't feel the pressure to keep him as sheltered. Does anyone else do that and why would that be?

Momma 6-24-2008 @ 10:54AM

Kudos to you AND your daughter!

I agree completly with you and do all I can to shelter my son from things like this.
Just a few short weeks ago my 6 (almost 7) year old was allowed to "upgrade" to watching SpongeBob - I felt like a bad Mom for letting him. But we balance it out with plenty of PBS.
I'm such a ninny that I don't like the news being on when he is in the room or even in earshot, my DH goes in to our bedroom to watch it.

the goddess anna 6-24-2008 @ 11:39AM

I let my 5yo daughter and 3yo sons watch SpongeBob, but I always watch it with them. On the other hand, I hate the show Max and Ruby (on Nick Jr), and I don't let my kids watch it (it's coming on right this second, actually)... it has no value whatsoever, and yet it's on for little kids?

Just goes to show I suppose how complex this issue is, and why it's important for each family to do what's best for them (and them alone).

Funny, though, as I mentioned in the Penny's thread - I'm not trying to shelter my kids from bad influences so much as I'm a lazy and cheap parent. My eldest has yet to watch any of that Disney HSM/HM crap, mostly because I simply don't turn it on. She gets no merchandise branded with it because we don't have money for it (and I wouldn't buy the crap anyway). It's quite easy to say 'no, there are other things to buy/watch/wear that are more fun/more entertaining/cheaper.'

I'm glad, though, that my daughter revels in being a little girl. I'm sure that'll be challenged when she starts kindergarten in the Fall - but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Courtney 6-24-2008 @ 11:41AM

Good for your daughter for standing up for what she knows is right. Also, good for you for raising such a strong, sweet girl to know that she can stand up for herself despite anything. She very well could have been picked on for that, but judging by your writing, either it never crossed her mind or she didn't care.

I totally agree with all of this. Dora is the max in our house. My daughters are 2 & 4.

Michelle 6-24-2008 @ 11:45AM

In general, I agree with you Rachel about kids, particuarly girls, growing up too fast. We don't let my 7 year old daughter watch the teenage shows, have Bratz, pierce her ears, or dress inappropriately. But I've read your comments about High School Musical before and I still wonder - have you ever seen it? Because if you have, and you think about it, there is MUCH more to object too with Disney Princesses than HSM. I think you are probably just reacting to the "High School" in the name. It is really geared toward little kids - I doubt many actual high schoolers are even into the movies, it would be too uncool.

In both HSM 1 and 2, there is no kissing (except one chaste kiss at the end of 2), no sexual references, no bad language, no back talk, and the "mean girl" is hardly even mean, just a little conceited - most kids get a lot worse on an elemetary school playground (and Sharpay doesn't even compare to Cinderella's mean stepsisters!) The kids are nice to each other, they study hard, they get summer jobs, the music is fun, and the message is good - be yourself - it is OK to be smart and musical or play sports and want to be in the musical as well. If only high school were really like this!

Compare that to the Disney Princess message. VERY adult themes - marriage is always central, beauty is a girl's most important asset, there are lots of really mean girls (and stepmothers!), the mothers are usually dead or absent, all is well when the handsome prince saves the day, (not to mention that we did away with royalty in this country 250 years ago!) How is any of this more appropriate for a little girl than HSM? I'm just glad my daughter was never into the princess thing like some girls.

I'm a pretty conservative parent and will likely be saying no to lots of things in my daughter's future, but I actually think HSM is a good thing. Can't comment on Hannah Montana, I've never seen it.

ikate 6-24-2008 @ 1:57PM

Amen, Michelle! I think that the whole Disney princess thing teaches some whacked-out values and my daughter will be nowhere near that crap. She's too young for HSM but I have seen it and I do think that it's a perfectly appropriate movie for the 5-7 crowd. Like you said, it's about working hard, having fun and being yourself and if that what she thinks it is to be "grown up" that's fine with me. I'll take that over the princess beauty-is-everything and you need a prince to save you message any day!

Chere 6-24-2008 @ 12:29PM

That is great that your daughter did what she did. This is a great example of how when you talk to your children about values and morals that it does stick with them. I believe the best thing we can do for our children is to communicate with them and obviously you and Sean are doing a great job!

I agree with you about age appropriateness, my daughter is only 28 months, but you will not see a Bratz doll in my house ever. I am sorry but that doll is just completely ridiculous from the clothes to the make up. I am sure i will have to deal with all of that later but for now Dora is the permanent fixture in our home and I am fine with that! On a side note I do agree with Michelle on those princess stories they actually do not put out the best messages for girls, I am not sure i like the idea of a girl always being saved by the prince.

awiser 6-24-2008 @ 4:36PM

I read several of your posts before I informed a opinion about you. I don't like your posts. I feel sorry for your kids. When I was growing up, there was a set of twin girls in my class. Apparantly, they had an older sister that I was not aware of that had some behavoir and mental problems. their parents had their handsful with her. So they were super strict with the twins and their younger brother. They seemed to hold their parents beliefs and acted like it didn't bother them that they couldn't go out on dates or get their drivers license. But in the locker room, they cried because they never a date throughout their entire high school lives. They did not even have a boyfriend. After getting their freedom by going to college, both straight A girls flunked out, one got knocked up and the other became a heroine addict. the one with child finally graduated to become a grade school teacher. Unsure about the whereabouts of the other. You remind me of their overprotective, overly strict parents. I can hear their mother's voice while reading your posts. These rules and guidelines only work when the are under your house with rules. When they left the nest, they had no one to account for themselves to. They did not know how to handle their freedom and made many dumb mistakes as adults that I made while a teenager (and I didn't get into as much trouble as them! and no record to prove it!) I don't think I will be reading your posts any longer.

The Babysitter 6-24-2008 @ 5:33PM

I loved this article, I agree with you so much, and you have amazing parenting skills for your children to stick with your rules even if your not there and won't find out. That was excellent. Congratulations!

Katty 6-24-2008 @ 8:34PM

My four year old son is not allowed to watch Spongebob, he only watches train documentaries at this point (he's obsessed and they are very informative). He is not allowed to play video games, get toy guns, or toy swords or anything like that. My two year old daughter likes Dora and we are going to avoid all that princess crap as long as we can, I hate the whole idea that they need a "prince" to save them or need to look like a princess or something, plus dont get me started on the merchandising.

I have friends who let their five year olds watch "Grease" which is completely inappropriate and there is no way I would allow it. I want my kids to be little kdis as long as possible and if that means keeping them away from certain stuff, so be it. However, I have watched HSM and I have to agree with what some of you said, that it is the cleanest thing I have ever seen, dancing, singing, no dirty language, good clean cut kids running around, I don't see anything wrong with an 8 or 9 year old girl watching it, but for every parent they have to make their own choice on what is appropriate or not and no kid is going to "suffer" if they don't get to watch certain things.

sabrinasmom 6-25-2008 @ 3:50AM

Rachel - Have you seen High School Musical? Are you not allowing Eva to watch it because of its content or because there are teenagers in it?

Also - did Eva tell the group of girls that she is not allowed to watch HSM or the Parent? If the movie was changed because she said something, that may have singled her out.

(Just Curious)

My daughter (age 9) was in that same situation (it was a "scary" movie) and she just left the room - she told the Parent the same thing but told her not to change the movie on her account. My daughter understands the "different' rules thing too.

JoAnn 6-25-2008 @ 1:34PM

Rachel,

I applaud the boundaries that you have set for your daughter. Though my son is only 5 months old, and certainly won't be surrounded by the same influences that barrage little girls in this day and age, I too, plan on setting age appropriate boundaries.

I was raised in a fairly strict, Catholic-Italian household. I am now 30 years old, have a great career and a strong set of moral values. This doesn't mean that I don't like to enjoy myself, and when I turned 21 I certainly forayed into the club seen (as was appropriate for my age). But when I did have the opportunity to do things- I did so with a level head and an awareness of the dangers or risks associated with any situation.

Just because I wasn't allowed to go to co-ed sleepovers and had a curfew didn't curse me to a lifelong drug addiction or unsafe teen sex. I certainly would not want anyone to "feel bad" for me in the way that I was raised.

I don't really think the point here is restriction as much as it is about being realistic about what is appropriate for a 5-8 year old girl.

On

della 6-26-2008 @ 1:00PM

I have to agree with some of the previous posters. There is NOTHING remotely SEXY about HSM or Hannah Montana. NO 'sexy' clothes, no kissing (the one at the end of HSM2 & i THINK in 1 Hannah episode she kissed a boy..but i'm not sure on that) In HSM2 they are working at a country club and 1 of the girls is a lifeguard...she wears a ONE PIECE swim suit and has SHORTS and a zip up hoodie on over it most of the time! There are kids of every race, color, size, gender in the movie. The 'villian' is Sharpay who is basically a spoiled brat who wants things HER way....hmmm...my 9 year old has kids in her class that act like this. Are they her best friends? No. But there is nothing about Sharpay's behavior that she hasn't seen. And my kids go to a Catholic school as well. I think you need to sit down and watch it if you haven't. If you have watched it then i'd think it would be helpful for you to explain WHAT parts you feel are inappropriate for a 7,8,9 year old. Even the boyfriend/girlfriend thing is nothing more than them singing together....wait there may be hand holding....but they aren't making out or having sex or anything even close to that.

I personally don't like Hannah Montana...not becuz i think it's too old but becuz i think Miley is an 'over-actor' and it drives me nuts. But my 9 year old likes it and i don't mind her songs. And as much as i hate to say it there is usually a message in each episode...from making up with your best friend to feeling left out when picking teams in gym class.

And for what it's worth...High School Musical is rated G. I just went and double checked on the DVD.

kate 6-26-2008 @ 10:19PM

Hi Rachel,
Good for you. You're doing what you feel is right for your children, and I respect you for that. You've obviously given your kids safe boundaries, and they are listening to you.

While I have no objections to High School Musical, (I was pleasantly surprised--the Bratz things are another story!) it is not my place to criticize you. In fact, I commend you for being involved enough to care about what your kids see in the media. So many parents are clueless. So good for you for being interested and making the best decision for YOUR family.

hope 6-30-2008 @ 5:54AM

Rachel, I commend you for setting boundaries that are age-appropriate and explaining them to your daughter in a way that she can understand, accept and respect. My 3.5 year old daughter has a friend who is 5 and we recently inherited all of her dress-up stuff, My Little Ponies, some dolls, and everything Dora because all of her kindergarten friends tell her how "uncool" those things are to play with at her age. I think that's the saddest thing I ever heard. She loves playing with my daughter because underneath it all she still wants to play with/do those things and hasn't outgrown them, but feels pressured to give them up because of her friends. I watch my daughter play dress up and I can't imagine that in two years she won't be doing that anymore. (And yes, I have a problem with some of the princess messages, but I don't let her watch the movies and when I read the books to her I edit out the parts that are not age-appropriate). It makes me sad that our little girls are expected to turn into little teenagers so much sooner than they should.

aprilkelm 6-30-2008 @ 4:15PM

I like your parenting style, so I did some research on you. Didn't recognize you from the Real World. Know why? Because I wasn't allowed to watch it! Know what? I don't care that I wasn't allowed to watch it. When teach a kid to stand up for what is right, you increase their confidence.

lill 7-02-2008 @ 3:35PM

I wouldn't let my kids watch Disney for various reasons: the trite racial stereotypes (*e.g. minority sidekicks or buffoonery on their shows--which most shows on t.v. are guilty of anyway), the fear/hate/degradation of women's self-esteem a la "princess" themes. Disney is trash and only interested in purporting unrealistic images to very impressionable minds. i won't shelter my kids, but i won't put money into that evil corporation's pockets, either.

T.V. is mostly garbage anyway. Fortunately my kids and i are outside most of the time.