Sleeping through the night: An elusive goal
In the last week or so, my almost-5-month-old has abandoned his admirable new habit of sleeping 6+ hours at a time in favor of waking up every three hours to demand yet another feeding. It's not horribly disruptive since he essentially wakes up, rings his version of the dinner bell, powers down a bottle and falls immediately back to sleep, but my body has been experiencing something like a cringing depression at having to get back into the routine of staggering out of bed at 1 AM, 4 AM, etc.
It doesn't help matters that my husband snores peacefully throughout each awakening, then innocently asks in the morning whether or not Dylan woke up in the night. (Jeez, at least pretend like it screwed up your sleep too, you know? Otherwise I might be forced to help you SHARE in this wee-hour inconvenience, by, say, dumping a glass of cold water into your open slumbering snout.)
My gut feeling is that the baby's going through a little growth spurt and that we don't have a bigger sleep issue going on, mostly because of how he's waking up: he's not frantic or wanting comfort, he just seems hungry. I can sympathize, really -- if being a small growing baby is anything like being pregnant, I don't know how he makes it through the night without getting up and eating yet another toasted, buttered, and salted Thomas' "Everything" bagel.
(What? You didn't pork out on salt-and-butter bagels at 3 AM during YOUR pregnancies and wake up with poppy seeds stuck in your teeth? Freak.)
I'm hoping we get back to a more reasonable sleep schedule soon, because even though I suppose it's not all that tragic to have to deal with a couple quick feedings with a mostly cheery baby in the middle of the night, I'd rather up my chances of making it all the way through that dream involving George Clooney and the bathtub scene in Out of Sight, you know? (ALL THE WAY TO THE HAPPY ENDING IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN AND I THINK YOU DO.)
I don't plan to try Dylan on solid food for a few more weeks still, and I know there is supposedly no correlation between solid food and sleeping through the night. However, I'm curious as to whether or not your experience matches what the experts say. Did your baby sleep better once he/she was eating solids?
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Amy 6-27-2008 @ 9:04AM
Nope.
Breastmilk and formula have more calories than baby food, and will keep him satisfied longer. Sorry.
I agree, he's probably growing. But honey, if he's bottle fed, there's no reason why hubby can't take one feeding while you take the other. That's the biggest perk to bottle feeding, IMHO. I think it's time for daddy to step up. A sharp elbow to the ribs, combined with a sleepy, "YOUR SON is crying," should do the trick.
Amy @ http://prettybabies.blogspot.com
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cassandra 6-27-2008 @ 9:16AM
Amy took the words right out of my mouth! I agree completely.
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Marinda 6-27-2008 @ 9:28AM
I too was told that solid food would magically make my baby sleep through the night and longer and sadly found out it was not the case. I started my baby on infant cereal at 4 1/2 months, with the doctors permission, and even with a generous helping of it right before bed she still woke up after 3 hours. It was the same as your son though. She wouldn't even open her eyes while she was drinking and go right back to sleep. Now at 5 1/2 months, eating breakfast and dinner of cereal and fruit or vegetables, I still get hit and miss nights. Sometimes she'll sleep 8 hours straight and others she's up every 2 hours. I guess we should just be thankful for the nights the baby does give us a few more hours rest than normal.
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lydia 6-27-2008 @ 9:38AM
i too was told that putting a little rice cereal in my son's bottle or spoon feeding him some right before bed would help him sleep longer but he had other ideas. for him, it was a habit to wake up and cry for mommy and i gave in, mainly b/c it was easier to breastfeed him back to sleep in 5-10 minutes than to have to listen to him crying (and my husband complaining) for the next hour! we eventually resorted to the modified cry-it-out method and he was doing great, sleeping through the entire night, until he started waking up again (he's 23 months now) and calling out to have someone get him and take him to our "big bed". so now we're dealing with that issue. sheesh! who does he think he is to want to snuggle with mommy and daddy! :)
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Sleepynita 6-27-2008 @ 10:35AM
Dude, my son woke up 3 times a night until he was 18 months old. He never EVER slept through the night until I took away the bottle. Silly me I should have done it at a year, I would be much better rested then!
Not that I am saying to take away a bottle from a 4 month old, but DUDE I FEEL YOUR PAIN!
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Momma 6-27-2008 @ 11:12AM
Please Please Please do not "cry it out" with beautiful little Dylan. He needs you for something, be it a bottle or a snuggle. They grow so fast, and this is just a stage, you even said you thought it was a growing spurt. Hang in there - he needs you.
CIO is awful awful awful, it's cruel.
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Jenn 6-27-2008 @ 11:24AM
Nope, adding solid foods did nothing for sleep habits for my daughter. Squeaker was a good sleeper though, much like Dylan - started sleeping 6+ hours at 8 weeks.
Of course we had our growth-spurt nights too...week or 10 days in a row, she'd wake up wanting to be fed during the night. And then one morning I'd go in and look down at her and say "I think she's bigger...."
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Allstarme79 6-27-2008 @ 12:35PM
NO. Elliot didn't sleep all the way through the night until 6.5 months and only after I hardened my heart and gave in to the Cry It Out method, as "horrible" as everyone claims that is. I was at my rope's end with him and finally had to. He had been on solids for about a month before that and if anything, he was the same if not hungrier than before. But I think he only wanted comfort feedings. Once we did CIO, he slept 8-6 like clockwork, every night, and has been for 3.5 months.
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Emily 6-27-2008 @ 12:48PM
CIO isn't cruel, but not doing it is if it's necessary. Children need sleep just as much as they need food! And children need assistance in learning how to sleep. People need to act like parents and take charge to provide what their children need, rather than giving in to their children's wants.
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Janna 6-27-2008 @ 12:51PM
After having my daughter wake up every 45-90 minutes until I stopped nursing her at 27 1/2 months old, my son waking up only 2-3 times a night to nurse is a pleasure!
Solid food helped neither of them sleep any longer. My son is 22 months old and I plan to stop nursing him sometime after 2 years old. I'm curious if he'll miraculously start sleeping 10-11 hours a night like his sister did the day I stopped nursing her.
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Kristi 6-27-2008 @ 3:20PM
If the first thing you try every night is a bottle or breast, then the baby will be accustomed to eating all night. We didn't make my son CIO, but we started sending my husband in to soothe him first (hubby has no breasts, you see, and we didn't use bottles). If hubby was unsuccessful, then the magic mommie boobs took over. That helped us sort out the "I want a snuggle" or "I just wet my pants and I'm uncomfortable" cries from the "I'm growing so fast I'm about to metabolize my abdomen so bring me some milk NOW" cries.
Solid food has fewer calories but in diet after diet it's been proven that fiber helps you feel fuller. Solids also bring more gas, though, which can wake a baby up too. Follow the baby's lead on solid feeding--if a 5-month old is obviously watching you eat and mad that you're not sharing, then start feeding him solids. If a 8-month old is growing well and not interested in more than mommy milk, that's fine too. Don't try to rush feeding for the sake of sleeping, or screw with a sleep schedule because you're pushing foods that the baby's not ready for.
Just think, by high school you'll be hard pressed to drag those kids out of bed before 10am on the weekends, and won't want you to snuggle them in the middle of the night.
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Schlayn 6-27-2008 @ 3:47PM
At my daughters 6 month check up I asked the doctor this same question because she was still getting up during the night. He told me that she had developed a habit and that she was not hungry, just use to waking up. After this visit when she woke up I would just hold her for a few minutes or give her a pacifier and she fell right back to sleep. Within a week she was sleeping through the night.
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melissa 6-27-2008 @ 5:32PM
our family has had a system since 2 1/2 months old...i unfortunately didnt produce enough milk after our son was 3 weeks old...so we took turns feeding.at first we would feed him and we would rock him to sleep and then lay him down only for him to wake back up. at 10 weeks we would feed him and say good night and lay him down and walk out. It took patience but soon thereafter he was sleeping longer. if he wakes up in the middle of the night now(rarely it happens)we wait a couple minutes and see if he goes back to sleep..otherwise one of us gets up-at bedtime..if he cries for more than 10 minutes we will go in..but hes usually asleep within 6-7 minutes and wakes up happy every morning..he is now 7 months old
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marla 6-27-2008 @ 8:12PM
momma...wow. thanks for your eloquent rebutal. if you saw my boys, you'd see their spirits fully intact, beaming really (people comment all the time about the complete joy they send into the world). and i don't talk to my children that way, either with what comes out of my mouth or with my actions. i'd appreciate you doing the same. we have different philosophies. i respect your way and i'd appreciate if you (especially as someone who seems to extoll the virtues that are implicit in your rant) had more tact and just respectfully disagree, rather than spew negativity. just a thought.
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Nancy 6-27-2008 @ 9:32PM
Solids didn't impact our twins' sleeping habits, except that in the first week, BabyA would wake up screaming with bad gas pains. Otherwise, no effect. I'm lucky that the twins have been great sleepers since they were 3 months old (please don't let me have just jinxed things).
Sounds like Dylan the Handsome is waking up hungry and NEEDS a snack -- I'm sure it's temporary and as soon as he finishes up this growth spurt, he'll change to a new pattern (hopefully more like his old one).
I was extremely lucky, because with twins, DH would get up and feed one of the babies while I fed the other. He's a gem! :-)
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Momma 6-27-2008 @ 10:32PM
Blah blah blah Marla - keep telling yourself you did the right thing, you can't grasp the truth because you feel GUILTY for doing this to your children.
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DeAnna 6-28-2008 @ 1:13AM
I don't think solid foods help the kids sleep through the night. As young as you baby is I would keep going and letting them eat....but I have been a doctor for the past 10 years and I would say to beware that babies do learn habits at this age. As for the disput on CIO, every mother and every child is different you have to follow your instinct. One of my children I had to allow them to cry for 25 minutes when they were 14 months old because they were still waking up 6-7 times at night for me to rock them back to sleep. With my one of my other children they learned to put themselves back to sleep in the middle of the night on their own. For those who are letting their baby CIO you have to be strong and think about the reasons you are doing it for. Many people like Marla think that the only reasons adults would allow their child to cry it out is for the parents to be able to sleep at night. However, research and studies show that the benefits of children learning to put themsleves to sleep are endles. It teaches them that at some point there are needs that have to be met by themselves. Mom and Dad are not always going to be there to meet their every need. It also teaches them indpendence as well as a slew of other character traits that are needed to survive as they get older. Contact me if you would like links to the research.
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Laura 6-28-2008 @ 11:51AM
Thank you for writing about this. It seems our sons are on the same schedule. My 6-month old was a good sleeper and recently started waking up with the same pattern as your baby. (11, 1, 4, 7)Unfortunatley, though, my boy is alert at the 4am waking and it takes me a while to get him back to sleep. I'm breastfeeding so it is always me that nurses him down again...his dad wakes up but is usually able to fall asleep soon enough. I am having a hard time with feeling irritable, to say the least. I can't seem to get back to sleep after being up so often, sometimes for an hour! I've been such a zombie these past 2 weeks and it was really good to laugh about it a little. Thank you for finding the humor in this situation! Good luck - if you happen upon the secret, please let me in on it! :)
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Marla Grace 6-28-2008 @ 12:00PM
both of my children sleep from around 7 to 7, give or take 30 minutes in either direction, and have since they were around 4.5 - 5 months old (my oldest is 3 and the youngest is almost a year).
assuming your baby is gaining plenty of weight, nighttime waking beyond 5 months or so is, like a previous poster's doc said, a habit created by a parent. they do not need a bottle in the middle of the night. read baby 411. it has a great chapter on sleep, summarizing all the different books and methods out there.
and MOMMA, crying it out is not awful and is certainly not cruel for babies at a certain age (newborns, no, but an almost 5-month-old is not a newborn). it's just not. mine cried it out over a COUPLE of days, at worst, for 30 minutes one time. and guess what, i am an AWESOME, fabulous mother who loves, loves, loves her children. they are so much happier when well-rested and guess what, so am i.
good luck.
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Momma 6-27-2008 @ 7:51PM
Marla Grace and anyone else who CIO's.
It iS cruel and it BREAKS the spirit of children. It teaches them cry all you want you little fart I won't respond when you feel like you need me because Mommy is tired. You can't stop being a parent at night ya know.