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I've never been much of a fan of reality TV. Putting ordinary people (who are always prettier or meaner or whinier than anyone person I've ever met) in weird circumstances to show what happens just isn't entertaining to me. I've got kids, I deal with weird circumstances ALL DAY LONG!
Apparently, I'm not the only one who isn't crazy about at least one reality TV show. The Washington D.C. based nonprofit group Zero to Three is upset with the new NBC television series "Baby Borrowers". The group's spokesperson told Page Six, "We're concerned about the fact that these babies are being separated from their parents and placed with strangers. On the first episode, the babies were separated for about 12 hours and were clearly in distress. Typically they will cry and cling and search for their parents, which they were doing. They should be with someone they've had the opportunity to get to know."
I'm all for educating teens on child care getting rid of the notion that parenting is one big ball of baby powdery fun, but there ARE better ways than dumping a baby off with complete strangers for a television show. Working at a childcare center, volunteering at a church nursery or preschool, or even babysitting are all good ways to get a small idea of what life as a parent is like.
There is no way I'd ever, ever, ever have agreed to let my babies be on a television show like this, even with a nanny stationed nearby in case she's needed. What exactly is going on with our society that makes babies fair game for a reality series, anyway?
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ReaderComments (Page 2 of 3)
7-03-2008 @ 12:26PM
SART said...Wow, I so outraged by this comparison that I have to post a reply.
Having your children being exploited on national television for the simple reason that people love to watch other people screw up is nothing even remotely close to leaving your child in the hands of a trained professional at a qualified daycare institution. But then again, how would you even know? You've probably never even stepped a foot inside a daycare. Most daycares are full of warm, caring people who love taking care of children and are there for that reason. They, like most teachers, certainly aren't in it for the money. My son has been at two different schools in separate cities and we still keep in touch with several of his past caregivers whom we regard as extended family.
Try this one on for size: Let me know how proud you are to be a SAHM when your husband's job is sent overseas and he ends up unemployed for 9+ months. How will you justify your superiority then? Who will take care of you?
That happened to us and thankfully my salary allowed us to get by until he found a new position. And before you start spouting off about our lifestyle - we live a simple life, but unlike many we have the ability to save for our children's college, our retirement, or if one of us gets downsized again. So before you start spouting off things which are designed to get people riled up, think about the fact that you live a life you think you have chosen, but you don't actually get to make all the choices in your life...
7-07-2008 @ 3:44PM
colie said...I'm a sahm too, but I never did the daycare thing. I get odd jobs or temp jobs around christmas and birthdays to make sure everything goes off without a hitch, but usually when I need a babysittter it's all about family, I have 3 growing girls ages 3,4,6, and they have been the absolute best form of birthcontrol for my sisters ages 17,18,22. but then again my babysitters were family my girls already knew them there was no adjustment period. I'm not quite sure how comfortable I would be dropping my kids off with strangers like that especially at 0-3 months old there are just to many variables. call me paranoid or whatever but I've always felt the same way about daycare too. I mean how many news stories have you heard about children dying, or drugs and guns being found at a daycare facility?
7-03-2008 @ 10:36AM
Raechel said...I think this show is great. Is it the only answer to teen pregnancy? No. Not even close, but it's a great start. One of the girls was wanting to have children, and now she's not so sure she's ready. It's curbed at least one person, so it's a start. Another thought she'd be a great mom, and then she chose to go to work instead because she couldn't handle the teething baby.
As for the comments about dropping kids off at daycare as being the same thing...it's not even close. Most childcare centers require a meet and greet before taking on a new client. This is to let Mom/Dad/child get to know the center and teacher and vice versa, to ensure a good fit. It lets the child play in a new environment with the safety and comfort of Mom/Dad nearby. There's usually a trial period involved. However, the minimum requirements to work in a center is High School Graduate/GED and over 18, so there is still a chance that a teen will be watching your child. Not as lead teacher in a room, but still there. Most of those teens are in college for an education degree, so their learning as they go.
Let's also keep in mind the CCTV, it is only 3 days with the baby away from Mom and Dad, and they're right next door. These kids are not just left in a strange situation with nobody around but teenagers that don't know what to do.
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7-03-2008 @ 12:37PM
Crystal said...Well excuse me for having an opinion.
I thought that was what the comments section on the blog was for.
My mistake.
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7-03-2008 @ 2:13PM
Baron said...Don't worry about them, you are entitled to your opinion. The masses of people out here (and by out here, I mean pretty much everywhere) get pretty ticky about anyone that doesn't support the same opinion as them. I try, though I certainly don't always do it, to have at least an open mind and not attack opinions and, most certainly I try to actually read a full comment before responding (again, not always). Many times, people read (the internet is not the best place for relaying emotions properly) whatever they want into a post and misconstrue it; they then use the power of hiding behind a current to say mean things that they would never have the courage to say to anyone's face (unless you count "courage" as going into an emotional tirade with little real thought).
7-03-2008 @ 2:48PM
Crystal said...Thanks Baron...Proof there are still reasonable people out there...
7-03-2008 @ 2:47PM
ShortiRox said...Of course she has the right to her opinion and other's have a right to debate it. The fact is, comparing this reality show to dropping kids off at daycare is offensive and assanine at best. Who on here went into an emotional tirade, haven't really seen that on this thread besides the one whining about people disagreeing with her.
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7-03-2008 @ 5:25PM
notkidding said...The American Academy for Child and Adolescent Psychiatry just called for NBC to pull the show from it's line-up.
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7-03-2008 @ 4:42PM
SART said...I'm a firm believer that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's not your opinion that I take umbrage with, it is what seems to be a very condescending judgment of parents who use daycare. Especially when this article had absolutely nothing to do with daycare or working parents.
But back to the topic at hand, I think that it is very interesting that the show is giving them senior citizens at the end of the experience. I wonder if the AARP or some other seniors advocacy group will protest that aspect as well?
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7-03-2008 @ 5:19PM
Crystal said...Once again, and for the last time, I will say...
I was commenting on the idea of dropping off kids with strangers. The stranger could be Mary Poppins or it could be a babysitter or a nervous teenager or a daycare provider...A stranger is still a stranger. IN MY PERSONAL OPINION.
That was my only point.
Only you know what is best for your family.
I have a friend who drives a Mercedes and drops her kids off at day care everyday so she can go to work to pay for the Mercedes.
I would rather drive a Ford and stay home with my kids.
Thats what I am saying.
If you take issue, I apologize.
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7-06-2008 @ 3:18PM
terralynn said...I'm sorry to say but I am with Krystal to a certain extent..I stay home with my boys since birth..I don't see the point of having children if you are not raising them. And seeing them from 5-8 is not what I could see myself doing when I had my kids..My husband agreed and did not want someone we didnt know taking care of our kids. We also went through infertility treatments to have them..So I was over the moon to be home with an actual baby that we never thought we would have. As for us bashing all the working mother's out there..Maybe take a look in the mirror sometime..Because I have gotten my share of abuse from working mother's being judgemental about my choice as well..Figuring I am watching soap opera's and sipping tea with my feet up half the day.
I am never home with my kids. We are constantly doing things.
And I work very hard as do most mother's that stay at home..
I can understand that some people HAVE no choice. And I feel sad for those who must go..But there are certainly a lot that I have met which are more than capable to stay home with their children but choose not to. Saying they can't. By the time you pay full time daycare for 2 children and the gas and clothing and lunches..In the end you don't come home with much anyway in most cases..I believe a lot of people do have a choice. But just are not able to make the sacrifices
We do own a new home by the way..It is a struggle..
But our boys won't worry about what we had 20 years from now. They will remember the times we had together though.
PS I know this is going to get people all huffy..But we are all entitled to our opinion. And I am sure there has been enough said about stay at home moms by the opposite side as well..
I think every mother is a working mother.
Either side it is very difficult to raise children this day in age.
And it all takes work and sacrifice I am sure.
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7-06-2008 @ 9:19PM
taniyan said...I sooo totally agree with u. These babies are sepereated from their parents and the teenagers are supposed to learn how to raise kids and are being judged on their ability to raise kids with kids that don't even belong to them. Then when the babies cru and act out everyone automatically thinks that the teens aren't doing their job and they will be unfit parents, when the truth could possibly be that they miss their mommys and daddys.
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7-06-2008 @ 10:25PM
Nick said...This show is beyond stupid, but how about using babies from orphanages so you are not asking a parent to be stupid enough to let their baby be on this show. What happens if one of these teens is stupid enough to shake a baby? You can vet these contestants all you want, but a few sickos (i.e. Johnny Fairplay and the guy who held a girl at knifepoint on Big Brother) will always slip through the cracks.
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7-10-2008 @ 9:41AM
Denise said...So it's ok to put kids from orphanges in harm's way, because... they aren't real people? they don't deserve to be treated humanely? what?
As the mother of an adopted child, I find this show (and this comment) particularly disurbing. Manipulating c child's attacment and bonding can indded have long-lating emotional consequences.
And, even after dealing with this issue - I still carefully placed my child with caregivers while I went back to work. Noone is debating whether or not it was appropriate for my husband to work, so why should it be any different for me? My child is well attached and emotionally healthy, with a fantastic model of a successful working mother in her life. Just like I was.
7-10-2008 @ 11:01PM
Nick said...And do you think the cities treat these kids well? I am against the show altogether, but if you have seen New York City's Administration for Children's Services (ACS), you would agree with me that those kids are better off on the show in the care of the city. Nixzmary Brown, 6, was killed in Jan, '06, that boy named Browne, 7, killed a few days later, Kyle Foster, 3, killed last month, and to top it off, a 5-year-old announces he will kill his grandma and actually tries to do it by buring down the apartment, and the mother and the grandma deny there is anything wrong even after the fire. Imcredibly, the ACS commish Thomas Mattingly still has his job 2 1/2 years later, and the staff is undermanned and burnt out by their own admission. This kids all need FATHERS and when the bums walk out on baby and babymama, the moms find it easier not to try and to blame the absentee dad -- or to ignore the problem and screw around with event the scummiest of men who have no problem beating, molesting, and killing kids that aren't theirs -- than to put their feet down and give the obnoxious kids an ass-whuppin' themselves like parents used to be allowed to do. If you are a parent out in public with an unruly kid, you can't win because if you spank them some busybody will call the cops and if you don't, you get accused of doing nothing and letting your brats run amok. P.S. Timeouts DON'T always work and certainly not in public!
7-06-2008 @ 11:56PM
kerri said...Oh here we go with the stay at home versus the working mom drama.
here's the bottom line. Caring parents who work and put their children into day care do not do so lightly. They don't hand their babies or children off to teenagers with no responsibility and no skills, but to trained, caring staff members that they have checked out via face to face meetings, tours, and references.
Its not a matter of any old stranger will do.
If one of you superior stay at home mamas had to have someone else watch your child, would you see NO difference what so ever from putting your child in a bright friendly environment specifically designed for their age and development with trained and monitored staff members that you had in fact met and approved of, or in the care of two clueless would be teen parents who don't have the first idea what they are getting themselves into, as well as hot lights, cameras, noise, etc of a tv production? Would you shrug your shoulders and say to your husband gee honey, it doesn't matter who we let watch them or where we send them, either way the kids will be with strangers. so let's flip a coin?
It's offensive to suggest that signing your baby up to be a prop and guinea pig for two wholly inexperienced caregivers on a busy television set is " just like sending them to day care"
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7-07-2008 @ 4:03PM
colie said...Like I said I am both at times and it's really hard to go to work and then have to come home to more work. I am not bashing any working moms because I know it really sux!! we were drowning financially at one point and I had to work at some no-name gas station for a year before we finally caught up. I'm sure if we all had a choice we all would love nothing more than to stay at home with our kids but it just isn't the case. but alot of times I had my teenage sisters babysitting for me while I was at work, and a taste of parenting ( we'll say 8 hours out of the day 5 days a week) made my sisters realize what exactly the consequences are of some stupid one night stand at a party could be,it's just that small dose of reality that does the trick.
7-07-2008 @ 1:54AM
Michelle said...I think this show is WONDERFUL birth control!! I seriously believe this show shows these teenagers all the hard work it really is in raising a child. It's not all fun and games and not just something cute and cuddly.I think they should have this as a prerequisite before teenagers or very young adults are allowed to marry. Or even do something like this as a class for Seniors.
I don't believe these babies are in any danger. Their parents can intervine any time.
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7-07-2008 @ 9:44AM
2much said...It makes it better to know that the parents are close by and can intervene. However, that being said, I still wouldn't do that to my children. NO WAY! for the sake of a tv show? I agree it's a good idea to teach teens what it's like, but there are other ways, like volunteering, etc. Also there are interactive baby doll programs for teens out there as well. That's just my opinion and I am not judging :)
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7-07-2008 @ 12:18PM
Heather said...I think this is a wonderful idea for those teens that think mommyhood/daddyhood is one big walk in the park. The parents of the infants/toddlers/tweens/teens are right next door and get to watch everything on closed circuit television monitors. They can step in at any time if they feel as though their child is being neglected. I know many teens from my area would benefit from this experience.
And to those who said that there are other ways to expose these teens to motherhood ( like babysitting or daycare jobs) - the whole idea of this experiment is to show the kids that parenting is a 24/7 job and you don't get to send the child home at the end of the day and relax. This is supposed to be as close to a real experience as they can get.
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