Pre-school sex ed
Categories: Preschoolers, Love & sex, Pregnancy & birth, Education
At four years old, my daughter knows what a penis is and (more or less) that it's something that boys have. After all, she has two brothers and a dad, so it's not like she hasn't seen one before. According to the Brook Advisory Centres and the Family Planning Association, two British non-profits that focus on sexual health and education, she's off to a good start.The two organizations are calling for mandatory Sex and Relationships Education, beginning as young as four years old. Brook's CEO, Simon Blake, said that "If we get high quality sex and relationships education in every primary and secondary school across the UK, all the evidence shows teenage pregnancy rates will continue to fall and will improve young people's sexual health."
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Naturally, there are parents who don't like the idea. "I wouldn't be discussing it with my children at that age so I wouldn't want the school to be doing it," says one mother of a six-year-old and a one-year-old. I don't know -- I know my daughter is aware that boys are different from girls and I certainly don't want her to grow up believing myths such as "you can't get pregnant the first time." I want her to have good information and if the schools can work with experts to develop an age-appropriate curriculum, that seems like a good idea to me.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Nicola 7-07-2008 @ 11:41AM
I understand the sentiment, but this is WAY too young. We're missing a huge point in that little children are little children. They aren't thinking about sex, kissing, fondling, or anything more than simple "he's my friend, she's my friend". They are incapable of impregnating or being impregnated. I realize that we don't want to leave things until they're sexually mature and its "too late", but four?! No way. I would think that maybe eight is a good starting age, when kids are starting to think more in terms of relationships and gender roles. Preschoolers do not need that sort of confusion thrown into their simple lives. Lets let them enjoy the few years that they have, eh?
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caitlin 7-07-2008 @ 1:10PM
I could see if it were age appropriate, because unfortunately, kids do need sex education earlier. Age appropriate sex ed for the preschool should be about setting boundaries and learning proper names. I think it's important for children to know that certain areas of their body are private and that they always have the right to say no to touching that makes them feel uncomfortable.
We had a problem with a little girl in my son's soccer class last spring. She kept hugging, licking, and kissing my son, even though they're both only 3. I had a hard time getting the high school age girls who taught the class to put a stop to it because "Oh, isn't that so cute! They're like boyfriend and girlfriend!" took precedence over my son's acute discomfort and inability to participate with a 3 year old girl glued to him. I ended up formally complaining to the management and transferring my son to another class because the teachers were encouraging the little girl.
It seems like while they're not common, there are parents who encourage their children to behave like this little girl because they believe it's "cute", regardless of the other person's discomfort. I also think it sets a bad precedent to allow a child to continue touching another child in a way that makes them uncomfortable, while encouraging the other child to not make a fuss.
Nicola 7-07-2008 @ 1:21PM
That sounds like a badly behaved little girl who's bad behaviour was being ignored on the basis of being "cute". Which is inexcusable. For both your son and her own learning experience. We all need to know what is and what is not acceptable behaviour.
However, it wasn't sexual behaviour. Touching, at preschool age, is not sexual. It can certainly be inappropriate -- in the same way that name calling, throwing rocks, or disrespecting classroom materials is inappropriate. It is not the right way to behave. You must be taught to respect people's boundaries. But this does not require sex ed.
I have a four year old. He knows what a penis and a vagina are. He knows that boys have one and girls have the other. He knows that these are "private" areas, not to be touched by other people unless by a doctor in the room with Mommy or Daddy. These are simply life lessons. He also knows to wait for the walk signal and look both ways before he crosses the road. He knows to chew his food properly to avoid choking. He knows how to get dressed.
What I'm getting at is that at four years old, SEX education is not necessary. Why complicate things for our children any more than the media and modern society already have? Why not let them be children for awhile? I don't want my son worrying about sex, about "making babies", about marriage and relationships. He's four! So, I still feel that preschool is far too young for this...
Jenn 7-07-2008 @ 1:32PM
This is why it is "Sex and Relationship Education." They are not advocating teaching 4 year olds the details of how babies are made or what the sex act is; they are talking about including age-appropriate information in educational programs. This includes things like the differences between genders (boys have penises, girls have vaginas, mommies (adult girls) have breasts, daddies don't, etc). Lots of 4 year olds have younger siblings -- what did mom & dad tell them about how that sibling arrived, and what that baby bump was?
I remember being about 6 and reading a book that told me how babies were made (it had cartoon sperms wearing tophats in it!) -- there was nothing explicit in it, it was all biology, tailored for my age group. My mom tells me that about the age of 2 or so (probably around the time my sister made her appearance), I started asking about where babies came from. She told me that they are made by a mommy & daddy when they love each other very much, and left it at that -- perfectly appropriate for a 2 year old. As I got older, I got more detailed information.
I don't have a problem with this type of information being included in general educational programs, but I would sure want to know exactly what they were teaching and how it was being presented.
mamaloo 7-07-2008 @ 1:29PM
Humans of all ages, from infants through to oldest age, are sexual beings. Healthy sexuality should absolutely be encouraged.
We know that some infants rub themselves against the floor because the enjoy the sensation and by 4 or 5 they are touching themselves "because it feels nice" (raise your hand if you never imagined you'd have to say "could you please get your hands off your penis or go to your room!" 200 times a day!). At that age they begin to understand that their genitals are private and they start to develop idiosyncratic ways of protecting their privacy ("no, mom, I will wash my own penis!").
I think many people hear "sexual education" and think we'll be teaching 5 year olds how to give blow jobs! That's not the case.
I've said it hear before, many, many times: children of all ages need frank discussions of their bodies and how to use them so that when they choose to use them, they do so responsibly.
The fact that I'm a doula who had a home birth last year means that my now 5 year old son is exposed to a lot of pregnancy and birth talk. We prepared him for the birth of his brother and he was incredibly excited to see the birth last year ("It's a real live human! he squealed as the head was born, then he jumped up onto the bed so he could explore the baby even before the cord was cut - and never once hesitated or got icked out by the sounds or sights of birth).
He recently began asking about how babies get into their mama's bellies and we've had age appropriate discussions about how sperm fertilize eggs, much in the same way that pollen from one flower fertilizes another when moved around by bees and bugs. How do they get out? They come out through the birth canal. Where is that? In the vagina. Conversation done, he got what he needed and then saw a recycling truck he wanted to talk about.
All age appropriate, none of it salacious and nothing to rob him of his supposed innocence.
I'm all for sexual health education as part of an ongoing K-12 health education strategy. It just makes sense!
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