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Are your kids noisy?
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And, if so, does it bug your neighbors? Do your neighbors go so far as to complain to you about it? And, if they do, do you care? I live in New York City, in Brooklyn, in an apartment. I am surrounded, in my condo complex, by people to the right of me, on top of me and below me. I also have a fifteen month old. To say that he is rambunctious would be putting it mildly. No one has complained that my son is loud. After all, there are also a set of two-year-old twins across the hall. Many parents, however, aren't so lucky. In an article in the Real Estate section of the New York Times, the author uncovers just how a lot of neighbors feel about their neighbors' kids and how those parents feel about the neighbors. Most try to get along and make it work. Most are sympathetic--we've all had a new baby cry throughout the night and we've all greeted the following day with colic.
Some parents, however, feel like they are caught between a very rough rock and a very hard place: to be the perfect parent while being the perfect neighbor. In Brooklyn, perhaps, it is accepted that maybe you cannot be both. In places like Park Slope, which we mock all the time for being full of the mommy mafia, where we joke they won't let you in without kids, at least you know you can go to a restaurant and they'll treat you like a human being when you bring your kids with you. Your neighbors generally have kids too or at least understand what you're going through and they refrain from giving you a hard time. After all, your kids will grow up--eventually.
Elsewhere it's not so easy to be a parent and a neighbor. And, I would say the trouble isn't limited to apartment dwellers, either. Anyone with a backyard that sits next to someone else's backyard might complain your kids are making too much noise in the pool, or are coming over into their property, etc. You might respond the guests at their non-stop parties get too drunk and throw lawn darts too close to your kids' heads!!!











ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
7-08-2008 @ 4:24PM
Paul Cyopick said...I am a widowed single dad of an 8 year old son and twin 4 year old girls. From the first day I moved into my 3 bedroom condo, the lady below me complained of noise. Not just the children, pretty much anything I did she complains about, but mainly the kids.
It's gotten so bad that the property management is actually suing me for breaking the condo's noise bylaw. I actually found out that here in Ontario Canada, it's against the Human Rights code to discriminate against parents, so check in your area if you are being harassed.
Trust me, no one wants my kids quieter than I do, but kids are noisy. If you want a place that's perfectly quiet, get a house.
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7-08-2008 @ 7:19PM
ame s said...My daughters aren't particularly noisy, but aren't most kids in general? We used to have a family with 4 children across the street. I could hear 3 of them screeching while playing when I was inside my house with the television on.
I would hook on the streets before I lived in an apartment or condo. Kidding, but barely.
Anyone living in an apartment or condo should expect some noise. We teach our children to use "inside voices", but should we really ask them to be quiet when playing outside?
We went on vacation to a family oriented beach resort a couple of years ago. It was hard for me to choose between staying on the ground floor and dealing with noise above us or staying on the second floor and worrying about disturbing the people on the ground floor. We chose the second floor and only had to remind the girls a time or two to "step lightly". The other family who went with us chose the ground floor and were disturbed all week from sunrise until after midnight by the people above them.
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7-09-2008 @ 10:48AM
ladylane13 said...Solution for all suffering from kids being kids. The South. In the South people respect a parent trying to do right by their kids, and appreciate a parent who goes outside and sprays a kid with the hose, or plays monster chasing them around the yard. The think nothing of a kid screeching in the pool because they are playing lifeguard, and a group of 6 on bikes playing ghost rider and making vrooming noises. If someone has a baby squalling at all hours, we go over not to complain but to demand the baby be handed over immediately so Mama can go take a nap. Parenting is tough, and noisy kids is in the handbook. Comeon and join us in South Georgia, it's a good place to raise little ones. If you are unable to up and move, try this. Peridically ask your neighbors if your kids are too loud. Exlplain you have uber active little ones and are doing your best to keep them at a reasonable noise level, but are not always successful, them being kids and all......I have founf people are much more tolerant when you ask them, show you care i fthey are being disturbed, you reach out first. As a rule they will say, they're on the loud side sometimes but kids will be kids, some may suggest a time when they really need quiet, like those who sleep at funny hours or maybe work at home and have a certain time slotted for conference call. If you show consideration, they tend to be more tolerant.:) Hope this helps.:)
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7-09-2008 @ 3:09PM
Jenn said...Well, there are places and places, you know? If you moved into a adult community or a neighborhood that was obviously kid-free, and then became pregnant and had a kid, I'd guess you could expect to get disapproving looks and intolerant neighbors. But then, I wouldn't want to live in such a place with a child anyway, KWIM? It's no fun to be a kid when there are no other kids around!
But for the most part...eh. No biggie. We live in one of those suburban neighborhoods where our backyards all share fences, so there is really no keeping it down, even if your kids aren't being particularly loud. And oddly enough, every time I've had an issue with noise, it's never been the kids, it's been the adults!
I can easily deal with kids outside squealing and racing around and otherwise being kids. They're kids, after all. It's the dogs whose owners won't shut them up at 11 PM, and the teenager screaming up and down the street on his little 50cc motorbike at 10PM, and the neighbor who builds race cars revving his engines ALL AFTERNOON, and the MOTHER who thought it would be a good idea to park her car, open the trunk and pump her base so that it could be heard all over the neighborhood, that drive me nuts.
The only time I have an issue with kids making noise is when they are somewhere that they really should be quiet (museums, libraries, grown-up restaurants, etc). And that is not an issue with the kids, but the parents who brought them somewhere they really shouldn't be.
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7-09-2008 @ 4:58PM
Michelle said...Do you live in my neighborhood?