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Tween dating: Not exactly puppy love

Categories: Teens & tweens, Love & sex, Health & safety, Development, In the news

There are reasons that parents don't let their kids date before a certain age, and maturity is one of them. Preteens are often not ready to handle the strong feelings that come with a romantic relationship. They also might not recognize when a good relationship has turned bad.

Liz Claiborne and Loveisrespect.org recently sponsored a survey of tweens and young teens, looking for insight into what goes on in these young relationships. The results were alarming. Here's a glimpse:
  • One out of five 13 and 14-year-olds responded that they knew a friend who was physically abused by a boyfriend or girlfriend. Half said that they know someone who was verbally abused.
  • Nine percent of 11 to 12-year-olds say that their friends have sex.
  • Nearly 70% of kids who have sex before they turn 14 experience some kind of abuse.
  • Half of all tweens who responded didn't know the warning signs of an abusive relationship.
  • Significant numbers of tweens and teens experienced abuse through the use of technology (IMing, texting, etc).
This study seems to support the idea that early romantic relationships are really not a good idea. When my husband and I were trying to decide whether or not to start a family, he said to me, "I'm ready to have a baby; I'm not ready to have a teenager." How can parents help their kids through these socially difficult years?

The Washington Post has an older article on the subject, but I think it offers good advice. If you have a tween or teen who's showing interest in dating, these are simple but important steps to keeping them safe.

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