Playdates: Who's responsible for paying?
Categories: Kids 5-7, Kids 8-11, Teens & Tweens, Money & Work, Fun & Activities, That's Entertainment
A good friend of mine called the other day. "Andrew (who is 11) wants to take a friend to the fair, but it's so expensive, I don't think I can afford it." She's right, the fair is expensive. But I was surprised to learn that when her son invites friends along on outings, the parents rarely -- if ever -- send them with their own money.Is this normal? My girls are young enough that outings with friends usually include other parents, so I haven't had much experience with this. I had assumed, wrongly apparently, that when you invite a friend to do something special, parents tuck a few dollars in their pockets to cover costs. But according to my friend, when a parent invites another child along, they're essentially responsible for footing the bill.
For smaller events, like movies, for instance, this probably isn't a big deal. But for bigger outings, like the fair -- where in our town, rides are $3-$4 a piece -- or a water park, this might make inviting a friend along cost-prohibitive. I'm curious, who should be responsible for paying on a playdate?
Recent Posts
- Will a Namesake Bring Back Bad Memories? (3/18/2010)
- Diaper Basics 101 - Cloth or Disposable? (3/18/2010)
- Stroller Review: Combi Twin Sport (3/17/2010)
- CPSC Chief Inez Tenenbaum Says China Has 'Gotten The Message' (3/17/2010)
- Amy Poehler and Will Arnett Expecting Baby #2 (3/17/2010)
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Kimberly 7-11-2008 @ 1:22PM
I voted for other:
If I were sending my child on an outing (no matter what the cost) I would give him money to pay for his share. If the parents that invited him decided not to use his money then that is fine.
If I invited another child along with us, most likely we'd just pay for things. Or if the case of the Fair, We'd maybe pay their way in and for a couple of rides... but anything else they'd have to do with their own money. (though most likely it would be the same for our kid too... having him use his allowance for junk food or for games-- though we'd probably take the whole gang for a meal ahead of time so any food at the fair would be a snack).
Reply
Nicola 7-11-2008 @ 1:59PM
We ALWAYS send money to cover any expenses -- admission, food, etc. And I am very up front with friends when inviting their children along. Either, "Don't worry about the cost, its only a few dollars, we've got it" or stating "Ok, admission to the water park is $25..." Its up to you, but I always offer it more in the spirit of, we're going to the water park, we'd love to take Johnny along if you want a day to yourself, here's what its going to cost.
Reply
kebhoag 7-11-2008 @ 3:30PM
My oldest child has on occasion gone out with a friend and his parents and I would never dream sending him without enough money to cover his expenses. I have always let the mom know how much money he has on him and to feel free to use it. If we bring his friend along with us we cover everything except souvenirs. My son went out with a friend once, I sent him with x amount of dollars, to cover his admission, lunch and a souvenir and he still should have had money left over. He came with nothing, no money, no souvenir. When I asked where his money went he said they collected it($15) for lunch, my son chose not eat any lunch, due to an upset stomache, but she took his money anyway, I thought that was wrong, I would never had done that, but to each their own.
Reply
Maureen 7-11-2008 @ 3:31PM
I would always send my child with enough money to cover expenses of an outing, no matter how small. But, if we invited a friend to go somewhere with us, I wouldn't require that the parents provide money -- the child is a guest. If the parents do make a point of mentioning that they would like to pay for their child, then I would happily accept.
That's sort of how I remember it working when I was a kid.
Reply
J Jordan 7-11-2008 @ 3:33PM
The bit about paying for the guest is right up Miss Manners' alley--if you do the inviting, you should do the paying as well. Now, the modern parent would, in addition, tuck money in with the child just in case, but I think Miss Manners would say the guest does not pay. When I was a kid and I was invited on vacation with my friends, I was not expected to pay for the hotel nor the meals! Now, I would have paid for the plane ticket, probably.
Reply
Karen 7-11-2008 @ 4:52PM
The key is to have open communication with the parents up front. Why in the world would anyone GUESS what was expected?
If I was doing the inviting, I would pay. But there are times when I just offer to "bring along" another child and in that case I am upfront about the costs.
When my child is invited anywhere, I always ask about the cost and this gives the other parent the opportunity to offer to pay or tell me what to send.
I actually prefer parents do NOT send money. This generally causes a problem. I like to control the kids purchases, because they usually want the "same" things. If I purchase everyone popcorn and a drink, but the invited guest decided to buy M&M's out of his own money, then we have a problem. If we go to the waterpark and I buy everyone a icee, I don't want the kids saying they are having ice cream too. I do say no, but it just creates an unnecessary problem.
Reply
Jenn 7-11-2008 @ 9:51PM
Whether dealing with adults or children, if I (or my child, with my approval) invites someone to join us, then I expect to pay for them. And, when my daughter is old enough to be invited to go places, I will always check with the other parent to find out what their expectation is before I send my daughter off -- I agree with Karen that it can cause a bit of difficulty if the guest child has more money than your own child, and wouldn't want to cause any 'uncomfortableness.'
Reply