Things I should probably feel guilty about (but don't)
Filed under: Babies, Toddlers Preschoolers

Having literally eighteen months' worth of adorable kid moments captured by video. Still on the digital camcorder.
Laughing at the baby when he throws a full-fledged tantrum over being dressed in pajamas. So angry!
Not having taken my nearly-3-year-old to the dentist yet. And based on his reaction to the pediatrician's office this week (where he wasn't even being EXAMINED, OH MY GOD), planning to eventually fob off this duty on his father.
Never giving any serious consideration to cloth diapers.
Having given up on worrying about the nutritional content of my toddler's meals, and generally just hoping that something with calories makes its way to his belly a few times a day. ANYTHING with calories.
Hoping both children do all their pooping for the day at daycare.
Zerberting the baby's belly right before naptime, even though it makes him shrieky and giggly and generally sort of insane.
Telling my kid the TV's broken sometimes.
Occasionally providing my own spin on our bedtime stories: "And then the caterpillar smoked a nice big green leaf and he was soooo hungry, he ate through one bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos, one piece of pepperoni pizza, one box of Junior Mints, one can of Mountain Dew, and one peanut-butter-and-pretzel sandwich!"
Sending the toddler running back and forth between his father and I in order to deliver vaguely dirty messages. "Mommy, Daddy says he has a BIG HOT DOG for your MOUTH!"
(Got any of your own to share?)
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ReaderComments (Page 3 of 4)
7-28-2008 @ 5:45PM
katie said...Not sure how I'm supposed to "fix" my comment, as requested by CraigNY below, but to answer morbo's question - NO, I did not in any way encourage my son to ostracize the child. It occured outside of the classroom, as parents made their birthday party lists, invites for playdates, after-drop-off get-togethers, etc. Did I go especially out of my way to invite the boy to play with my child? No; why should I - he had a reputation as a potty-mouth and there were lots of "nice" other kids. Maybe it's "thing I should feel guilty about, but don't". And maybe, if someone had told that childs parents to be more careful about what they said in front of him, the whole incident could have been avoided. That was the main reason I decided to post here in the first place - was to give an example of how a little joke between parents can go horribly wrong.
7-28-2008 @ 9:14AM
Tammy said...Ummm ... WOW. One little comment about hot dogs and blog readers are in a uproar. Sheesh.
Maybe people should worry about truly appalling things instead of a harmless joke not understood by a toddler. For example, the little boy in my daughter's daycare class (three year olds, she's two), who every time he sees a child cry must run to one of the teachers and proclaim that "that boy/girl is a fucking cry baby."
I am a long time reader of Linda's blog and she and her husband seem to be two of the most amazing, caring parents I have ever come across. Riley is an amazing child and I am sure that Dylan will be as well.
Get a grip and start worrying about things that are truly something to worry about instead of a joke that is delivered among two loving parents.
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7-28-2008 @ 10:30AM
Elyse said..."It may sound funny “now,” but in a few years we’ll be hearing that he’s getting into trouble in school and will have no friends, nobody invites him over to play, no b-day party invites and will then be hearing “oh, what did I do wrong?” He will be one of "those" kids"
SERIOUSLY??!!
I have my doubts that a hot-dog comment is going to ruin this kid's social future.
Linda, let us know how many birthday parties Riley doesn't get invited to in the future. I'm concerned about his well-being.
Keep writing about hot dogs. Please. It makes life a bit more interesting.
Offended people offend me.
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7-28-2008 @ 1:06PM
amber said...I heard Linda controls the weather and wrote the screenplay for "Glitter." !!!!
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7-28-2008 @ 1:19PM
kim said...EWW, I heard she did the casting for Gili too! AND she is responsible for camel toes and body odor!
I love it when I have a hot dog for my bun, but once it has been in the bun i won't put it in my mouth.
AND, things I should feel guilty about...right now my son is playing with a spoon instead of getting interaction with me while I type away making light of my fave blogger's pain on this completely absurd comment war.
7-28-2008 @ 3:31PM
Krissa said...So...was he actually propositioning a little nookie, or was dinner ready? Totally could've been a "vaguely dirty" phrasing for both.
The pearl-clutching here is fine form, though.
@Amber (#41) - excellent!
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7-28-2008 @ 3:38PM
JTM Conchy said...Very funny hot dog joke! You all should
read 'Stan the hot dog man.' My 2 1/2 year
old loves the book and loves hot dogs ;-)
Things I NO LONGER feel quilty about:
1. Feeding my son ice cream for dinner.
2. Telling my son to go watch a movie
so that I can take a bath.
3. Asking my friends to watch my son so that
I can go home and SLEEP.
4. Being HONEST about the above items!
:-) ;-)
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7-28-2008 @ 3:42PM
Kathy said...Wow. Riley is going to be ostracized by the parents of the kids he goes to elementary school with. I would like to hear how these parents explain to their children why they can't play with Riley. "Honey, you can't play with him because his parents have taught him to say things that are vaguely dirty." I also want to hear how they explain why a hot dog is dirty. Don't worry Linda, if he is ostracized in elementary school everything will turn around in jr high. Everyone will want to be friends with the cool kid that makes vaguely dirty remarks about hot dogs.
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7-28-2008 @ 6:22PM
Sleepynita said...Linda, you see I would never have that problem because there is NO WAY IN HELL that my husbands hot dog goes into my mouth. Unless it is his birthday.
Oh shit. Thats today.
Some of these commenters have to get a grip and chillax.
http://www.drowninginlaundry.wordpress.com
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7-28-2008 @ 8:40PM
Annie said...I hope, foolishly, that when I have children, they aren't forced to deal with such judgmental and prude individuals who will cause unrest in the school system or playmate circles when, inevitably, a child says something 'inappropriate'. heaven forbid this stay-at-home mother has a little fun, you know? and, hey, at least she's willing to speak so openly about what goes on in her household! how refreshing.
remember, before you put down another crappy comment about how 'over-the-top' her post's last few sentences might have been, at least she's being paid to say what's on her imaginative mind. you're not getting paid, because you are close-minded and have no imagination. i.e., maybe a hot dog should be inserted into your mouth, because god knows the foot can't quite reach it.
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7-28-2008 @ 9:21PM
kelly said...Well Katie, maybe you didn't read my comment closely, but the "closed minded and judgemental" comment that I was refering to and quoted was......"they will be "getting into trouble in school and will have no friends, nobody invites him over to play, no b-day party invites and will then be hearing “oh, what did I do wrong?” He will be one of "those" kids".,
Now if that is not a judgemental statement than I don't know what is.
(oops, I almost said than I will put a hot dog in my own mouth! but there might be toddlers reading) ;-)
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7-28-2008 @ 11:36PM
ablndmomnt said...Wow! This is the first time I have been to this board and already I feel at home! My son got out of the car one day called it a piece of shi** and then proceeded to tell me about that the lady outside looking at flowers that had huge boobs! Over and Over "mom look at HER BOOBS!" me "shh honey we don't talk like that" "MOM her boobs are HUGE!" I wanted to die, he is now 15 though and has never been in trouble at school for saying inappropriate things. I guess I'm lucky, who knows what could have happened if his kindergarten teacher had big boobs!
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7-29-2008 @ 6:43AM
robin said...What strikes me as wrong here is the behavior of the parents of the kid being 'ostrasized' because of a silly little comment. It's the parents who were doing the ostrasizing that should be ashamed of themselves. What an outstanding example they are to their children! I'd rather have my kids hear me say some off the cuff hot dog remark than see me deliberately excluding a small child.
I read ALL of Linda's blogs because I enjoy her point of view and she makes me laugh. I've come across blogs that I tried to like and didn't and guess what I did? I never went back, certainly never made stupid ass hurtful comments.
This site has the most hateful commenters I've ever seen. It scares me that they are actually breeding and spreading the hate.
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7-29-2008 @ 1:50PM
katie said...I think you would feel differently if the child in question is the only one out of 30-something kids making references to sex acts, etc and not just once, but several incidents. It's not hate driven - those parents just wanted to protect their kids, innocence a little bit longer. It scares me that so many parents seem to think it is okay for 3-5 year olds to be making references to oral sex, just to amuse themselves.
7-29-2008 @ 8:38AM
g~ said...Here's one of mine:
Kid: Can we play with Daddy's Wii?
Me: Yes, Mommy would *love* to play with Daddy's wee...
g~
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7-30-2008 @ 11:20AM
the goddess anna said...Heh, glad I'm not the only one who makes that joke too.
If y'all think Linda's bad, be thankful you don't hear my husband and I. At least we admit we're human.
7-29-2008 @ 1:11PM
justmouse said...when my son asks, "what's for breakfast?" and i answer, "WHAT?! isn't there any cake left?!"
or when i ask him if he has bathed or put on clean clothes and he says 'no'. i just shrug and say "whatever".
there are bigger things in life to worry about. when he asks me for $50 for a hooker, or if i've seen his crack pipe anywhere, THEN i'll start to worry ;)
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7-29-2008 @ 1:47PM
Ashley said...MORE HEAD LESS FIGHTING!
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8-01-2008 @ 1:32AM
8o8 said...I think the "hot-dog" sex talk has the -potential- to grow into a problem.
I don't agree with it, but I wouldn't do it. It's tacky and if my children ever said that in public or in front of family or friends, I would be embarrassed.
And I don't think the people who disagreed with it at first were being rude or anything until the "rotting teeth" comment, which in all reality if you're writing about not bringing your child to a dentist for years, isn't surprising to receive some comment about it.
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8-07-2008 @ 12:08PM
Brooke said...A little late to this party, but jeepers, what drama.
There is no way to know what your kid will be ostracized for. My stepson doesn't seem to have any friends. Don't know why, unless he treats other kids the way he treats my daughter, but the school hasn't called, so I'm going with no on that. On the other hand, my stepdaughter wets her pants at least twice a week (she's almost 9) because - wait for it - she can't be bothered to go to the bathroom sometimes. Does anyone make fun of her? Nope. Go. Figure. If we ever come across judgmental kids in our school, you can be sure they won't be invited to our parties, 'cause we don't roll like that.
Once I called my stepson a shit head (he wasn't present) after my daughter told me something he did/said to her. She asked what a shit head is and I said, "It's not for kids. Never mind." and she promptly forgot about it.
Also, I got/made hot dog jokes not much older than first grade. I went to a private school and no one gave a shit. I had plenty of friends, I was an A student and got into every college I applied to. I'd have invited that hot dog kid to my house.
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