Cross Nursing - Natural extension or disgusting and weird?
Categories: Babies, Eating & Nutrition, In The News
We're all familiar with the "breast is best" campaign, but some women are taking their commitment to nursing far beyond the comfort zone of others.
Experts have noted an increase in cross-nursing, the breastfeeding of a baby other than your own. According to Lisa Moran, editor of Babytalk magazine, cross-nursing is to be expected.
"Cross-nursing is the logical extension to the rise in breast-feeding rates that we've seen in the past 15 years," she told "Good Morning America." "Moms are really committed to breast-feeding exclusively and finding new ways to do that. Cross-feeding, cross-nursing is one of those."
Cross-nursing or serving as a wet nurse wasn't uncommon in the past (my father-in-law was nursed by a neighbor in the 1920's because his own mother wasn't able) but isn't an accepted practice in developed nations where infant formula is readily available. According to a poll in Babytalk, 45% of respondents find cross-nursing "disgusting" or "weird", whereas the Chinese policewoman who nursed nine babies after the earthquake was considered a national hero.
Surprisingly, the most ardent supporters of nursing, The La Leche League is firmly opposed to wet nurses or cross-nursing. According to their website:
A Leader shall not ever suggest an informal milk-donation arrangement, including wet-nursing or cross-nursing. If a mother wishes to discuss these options, the Leader's role is to provide information about the risks and benefits so that the mother can make her own informed decision based on her situation.
The risks listed in cross-nursing included the transmission of disease or unhealthy habits (alcohol, drugs, caffeine, etc.) via breast milk, decrease of milk production in the non-nursing mother, and confusion in the bond between mother and child.
When I was in the midst of my own nursing years (I nursed all four of my kids) nursing a friend's baby wouldn't have been more intimate to me than giving them a bottle, simply a means to END THE CRYING. However, I was in a completely different mindset where breasts were purely utilitarian baby feeding devices. I'm no longer at that point, and can understand people being grossed out at the thought of breastfeeding someone else's child.
Recent Posts
- Reviews: What's New This Week (11/20/2009)
- Twitter Follow Friday on ParentDish! (11/20/2009)
- Diabetic Student Wins Fight For Extra Gym Classes (11/20/2009)
- Suri Cruise Stumbles in Her High Heels (11/20/2009)
- Sports Traditions as Important During Holidays as Turkey, Gifts Under the Tree (11/20/2009)

.jpg)
















Reader Comments (Page 1 of 22)
maryellen nelson 7-28-2008 @ 8:31PM
Before HIV cross nursing was considered normal. My grandmother not only helped other babies survive but also used to donate extra breast milk to the Womens Hospital in NYC in the 1920's.
It has now been proven that Breastfeeding can actually be a preventive to diseases like Celiac disease which can effect quality of life so much. This disease can cause all kinds of cancer, any autoimmune disease, growth failure, bones loss, neurological damage and mental illness.
Myself and all three of my children have recently been diagnosed with Celiac disease and I was not breastfed nor were my children.
After my C-sections the doctors said that it really wasn't necessary.
Boy were they wrong.
Reply
LINDA 7-29-2008 @ 8:49AM
MY CHILD WAS DIAGNOSED WITH CELIAC DISEASE IN FEBUARY, IT IS SOMETHING THAT IS LIFE CHANGING, I WAS TOLD NO MATTER WHAT THAT IF YOU ARE DIAGNOSED WITH THIS IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT YOU HAVE DONE ITS IN YOUR GENES BEFORE BIRTH, SO BREASTMILK REALLY WOULNDT HAVA HELPED ANYWAY. IT IS UNCURABLE ALSO, YOU JUST HAVE TO MAKE SURE YOU EAT NON- GLUTEN FOODS. MY SON THREW UP AND HAD THE RUNS FOR 3 YEARS BEFORE DIAGNOSED, AND IT WAS BY ACCIDENT THEY FOUND OUT, A FRIEND OF MINE ACTUALY TOLD ME TO ASK THEM TO RUN THAT TEST, THE DOCTOR SAID NO I REALY DONT THINK HE HAS THAT THE THROWING UP IS WAY WORSE THAN THAT OF A PERSON WITH CELIAC, TO HIS DISBELIEF HE HAD IT, HE CANT SO MUCH AS HAVE A SMALL AMOUNT OF GLUTEN,,, IT PUTS HIM BACK A WEEK,,, THIS IS A SERIOUS DISEASE, MAKE SURE YOU MAKE THE CHANGES FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY, CROSS CONTAMINATION IS THE WORSE THING. YOU NEED SUPPORT ,TO, THIS HAS AFFECTED OUR WHOLE FAMILY, MAJOR LIFE CHANGING,,,,, GOD BLESS AND MUCH BLESSINGS TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY
maryellen 7-29-2008 @ 6:11PM
Linda,
Thank you for your reply. I have been attending the seminars at Columbia Presbyterian Celiac Center in NYC given by Dr. Peter Green and his staff. The studies are showing that if you introduce a small amount of gluten to an infant between 4-6months while breastfeeding there is a certain amount of extra immunity the the child gets which is somewhat preventative. What is also not said however is that traditionally these people of Northern Europe also had a very low gluten containing diet. Exposure to gluten may have a lot to do with disease developement especially since they are finding that Celiac disease like diabetes, has two types, you can either be born with it or it can occur throughout your life. We also know that it is linked to type one diabetes. That said, perhaps diet is definately something to look at more scrupulously.
I was diagnosed 4 1/2 years ago after having many years of nagging symptoms plus thyroid disease and allergies. I finally started to have siezures. My PCP at the time new I had been around the world looking for an answer and sent me to a surgeon who just happened be married to someone with Celiac disease and ordered the test which turned up positive.
I immediately asked my pediatrician to test my middle child who had been tracked for constitutional growth delay and he pooh-poohed the idea stating "I don't think she has that at all". The blood test came back with slightly elevated anti-endomysial cells and he told me incorrectly that she didn't have Celiac. It was only because I decided to take the Celiac seminars at Columbia Presbyterian in NYC 8 months later that I learned that my middle child indeed did have Celiac disease and that this Dr. was completely out of line for giving me false information. Not only did he misdiagnose my middle child but we later found out that ALL THREE of my kids have it according to the Doctors at Columbia Presbyterian Celiac Center. My eldest and youngest did not evidence in the bloods but the Doctors did the differential diagnoses and the gene test. Once we pulled them all off gluten and their symptoms went away entirely it ended the debate.
Breastfeeding is a complicated issue though, how long one breastfeeds and whether or not formula supplementation might alter immunity is not know. Frankly if I had known what was in those commercial formulas I would have preferred any alternative.
So yes, this was a huge life change for all of us but well worth it. We do go to both R.O.C.K. meetings and adult Celiac meetings for support and they have great information and wonderful food fairs.We've so far had to replace our oven, toaster oven and even the fridge and scour every inch of our kitchen dining area. My poor husband has to keep all of his gluten containing stuff in double plastic bags in a separate cupboard. My youngest an 11 year old, has evidenced with what Doctors think is inflammation of the brain. While attending a school baking activity she was inhaling flour and started to scream and cry and became emotionally inconsolable. This happened to be a substitute teacher so the nurse immediately called me and appologized. It took me almost 3 hours to calm her down but her headache remained until the next day. According to Dr. Peter Green at Columbia Pres as little as an eighth of a teaspoon can cause 6 months worth of intestinal damage which thereby alters the immune system.
My eldest who is now 17 was diagnosed with what the local pediatric gastroenterologist said was "Just a little pink colitis". When I took her into Columbia their assesment was that it was lymphocytic colitis which many Celiacs get. Again, one has to wonder about the specialists here and why they are not keeping abreast of this information. You already know about my middle daughter's stunted growth. Her "Growth specialist" endocrinologist tried to put her on growth hormone which was not the right therapy at all. Her vitamins were all low and she had pancreatic insufficiency. Every time I went to a Doctor through one of the Hospitals on Long Island they were completely wrong with the drugs they wanted to use on myself or my children. I finally found a happy medium with and ACAM certified doctor and Columbia Pres for the speicialists. It has been an uphill battle all the way and at times unbearable.
Inger 7-28-2008 @ 4:15PM
I was unable to nurse with my first, and I had a friend offer to nurse my son, and the 'ick' factor I felt was just way too high. That and the inconvenience of it all! No thanks!
Although I do think there is some bias in the wording of the poll - "sick and wrong" sounds pretty one-sided. What about 'Not my cup ' tea?'
Reply
Debbie 8-04-2008 @ 4:50PM
I nursed both my sons, they never saw a bottle with all those chemicals in the formula and the plastic. I think whatever needs to be done to feed the babies the way nature intended should be done!
David 7-29-2008 @ 7:43AM
how about not my cup of milk. LOL
kATIE 7-29-2008 @ 8:53AM
It took two frusterating weeks to finally get my first child to nurse because the hospital did not honor my wish to nurse and insisted on giving him a bottle anyway. If it weren't for a very dear friend, also nursing her infant at the same time, suggesting that we switch babies for a few feedings so that my son could get the idea and my milk production get better stimulated by her baby that was already a pro at nursing, I would have given up and never had the joy and pleasure of knowing that I was doing the best thing possible for my son. Sure it was odd at first, but nursing a baby is the most natural thing ever and to all of those people who think that it is nasty or wierd you probably have the very same opinion about nursing babies period, regardless of who they belong to.
Kim 7-29-2008 @ 2:15PM
How about this for a sensationalistic AOL headline: "Entire Population of Country Drinks Milk from Teats of Anonymous Bovine"
It is "gross" and "Weird" that we might give human milk (from a person we know and trust) to our human baby, but it goes without comment that we have an entire industry based on taking the "infant formula" from the teats of another species and drinking it, fermenting it, adding bacteria to it, etc. (I am talking about cow's milk here, for those who have not yet caught on). Do people even take a moment to THINK about what they are saying?
Wet nurses have been around for as long as historical records have been kept. Why do we suddenly find this very natural practive "creepy?" mmmmmmm, now pass me a nice cold glass of bovine lactate.
Susanne Zook 7-29-2008 @ 9:25AM
I nursed when I had my babies back in the 70s early 80s. When we went to church some of the women would nurse each other children when in the nursery or if babysitting. They would always ask prior. This was before HIV so it was acceptable etc. Now with the transmission of disease etc I would hesitate. I think people who use the terms disgusting etc never have had the joy of nursing. It is perhaps one of the most wonderful things of being a mother. My daughter is now nursing her baby and it is unacceptable in alot of circles for her to keep nursing when the child is beyond 6 months. This is crazy. When people ask me how long she is going to nurse. I tell them it is none of my business. That shuts them up. My grandbaby is 14 months. I nursed my last child til she was 3 years. It is not only great emotionally for the child, but is also great healthwise.
Deanna 7-29-2008 @ 9:33AM
It is weird and disgusting. Yes God intended for us to breastfeed, but not like this. We as American women can be talked into anything. We are so gullible and weak!
rebeccaelem 7-29-2008 @ 10:19AM
I cross-nursed the young baby of a very close friend a couple times, with their permission (or at their request), because the baby just would not take a bottle. Mine was the same (refused a bottle), and I had a close friend breastfeed her once when I had to be away for most of the day. While nursing is certainly a bonding experience for a baby and mom (like playing and snuggling), it's NOT sexual, so I'm not sure why people are so uptight over it. Obviously there are serious health concerns, though, that people need to consider when cross-nursing.
Jenn 7-29-2008 @ 10:10AM
I am ABSOLUTELY disgusted by this article! It's so hard to understand why breastfeeding has for even a second been thought of as unacceptable. Wet nurses, etc. have been used for hundreds even thousands of years! It's natural!! Why has natural become disgusting?!?! It's so upsetting to me that anyone would even question that. Research the harmful substances that are in formulas and tell me that's the right choice!! "Nature does NOTHING unnecessarily."-Immanuel Kant Nurture your baby! Breast milk is there for a reason, no matter where you get it from.
Theresa 7-29-2008 @ 10:20AM
Although I nursed my son and find nothing wrong with someone else nursing a child (there have been wet nurses throughout history) I do find it disturbing when women feel they must do so in public.
Yes, it is a normal, natural funtion. But so is urinating and defecating and I don't want to see those either!!
I nursed my son in private, I didn't feel that it was something to share with everyone. We already know what kind of perverts are out there, let's not give them something else to drool over. I think women that do nurse in public are just doing it for the reaction. They like exposing themselves.
Maryjane 7-29-2008 @ 10:26AM
As another example of cross-nursing, I nursed my foster infant. I was afraid to tell anyone I was nursing her, for fear the social workers would say, you are getting too attached, we are going to have to move her. She was a coccaine addicted baby and very difficult to calm. One night, after hours of shreiking, in my sleep deprived state, I lifted her to my breast, almost without thinking. She calmed immediately and that began a long nursing relationship. We adopted her ten years later.
I think women should be cautious about cross nursing for all the reasons listed. In addition, the milk of a newly lactating woman is richer and made for newborns, whereas the milk produced months later may be leaner designed for toddlers with other forms of nutrition. The later milk probably won't hurt a newborn but should not be used exclusively.
Breast is still best!!
mike 7-29-2008 @ 11:29AM
What is the 'ick' factor? Formula is waaay more icky than your freiends breast milk! Your baby missed out because you were afraid your baby would would reject you after suckling on your friend.
peggy 7-29-2008 @ 11:12AM
I nursed all 4 of my kids.But have found that babies who are established nursers aren't always willing to nurse from another woman. Once while babysitting my friends son, they were really late coming home, and their son was fussy to nurse and go to sleep. I tried to nurse him (we were close friends and both nursing our kids of the same age) but he was very unsure of nursing from me. I finally coaxed him to nurse some but he fell asleep and waited for his mom to come home with the "real deal". This baby definitely had a preference. It was also very strange nursing someone elses kid. Just as babies prefer different types of nipples on bottles, each mother's nipple is shaped different and feels different in the babies mouth. They want what they are used to.
Carol 7-29-2008 @ 11:05AM
My daughters in law cross nursed my grandchildren. That way one or the other could go out for a nice evening with their spouse and not have to worry about being back by feeding time. The cousins are all very close and no problems with parental bonding.
Shelley 7-29-2008 @ 11:21AM
Ok, so I personally think this is disgusting beginning with the mother's switching, but has anyone thought about what the child may think later down the road when they find out they were nursed by their neighbor or his girlfriend's mom or whatever the relationships is? It is not right for the baby even if we as women want to make ourselves feel better about doing it. Seriously wrong!
michelle 7-29-2008 @ 11:20AM
I DONT HAVE SO MUCH OF A PROBLEM WITH IT IF IT IS SOME ONE YOU ARE EXTREAMLY CLOSE WITH YOU LOVE AND TRUST MY ISSUE IS YOU DONT DO IT WITH JUST ANYONE KNOW THERE HEATH AND MENTAL HEALTH SO THEY DONT START TO THINK THE BABY IS THERES AND WETHER YOU ARE CROSS FEEDING OR NOT THERE IS A LIMIT ON AGE COME ON NOW 2,3,4, YEAR OLDS SHOULD NOT BE DOING IT. 1 YEAR PEOPLE 1 YEAR NOT WHEN YOU FEEL READY THINK OF THE KID WHAT DO YOU WANT THEM TO DO GO OFF TO KINDERGARTEN AND EXPECT YOU TO GO THERE AT LUNCH TO FEED THEM OR TO WALK UP TO THE TEACHER AND ASK TO FEED.OR WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO PUMP AND SEND IT IN A THERMOS THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT REALLY I FEEL CROSS THE LINE WHEN IT COMES TO BREAST FEEDING.
ccmattsr 7-29-2008 @ 12:27PM
GOD gave women their brests for the purpose of feeding an infant. It is the right thing to do weqther ones own infant or someone elses makes no difference. The real issue is in the matter of sex. In so called civilized societies, the brest is mostly a sex object rather than a means to nourishment. That oreintation is what is sick. It is recorded in history that in rare cases lactating women provided sustinance to adults who were starving, thus saving their lives.