Getting to know your child's teacher
Categories: Preschoolers, Kids 5-7, Kids 8-11, Education
One thing that can be guaranteed at the start of a new school year is back-to-school jitters, for children and parents alike. I am often asked by friends, "How do I go about getting to know my child's teacher without coming off as pushy?" etc. And I love answering that question, because it's simple, really.
Here are a few things you can do to get to know your child's teacher at the start of the school year, and throughout:
Ten Things You Can Do to Make Your Child's Teacher Love You Forever:
1) On the first day of school, feel free to introduce yourself and your child-if that's your school's policy. Many schools do not allow parents to come down to the classrooms during pick up and drop off of students-because of safety, and because it is a busy (hectic) time, where teachers are focused making sure everyone arrives safely, finds his or her materials and gets started on the morning activity. If your school does not allow parents to come down to the classroom at this time, respect the rule. It's there for a reason.
2) Acknowledge that you understand that your child's teacher is probably the busiest human on the face of the earth. Ask her what the most convenient way for her to stay in touch is, and then use that form of communication. Stopping by the classroom just before or after your child goes to lunch is a reasonable time that first week to check in and say hello to your child's teacher (if you cannot come down to the classroom during drop off.) But remember, this is also the teacher's lunch time, so keep the visit to the important minimum of asking when and how you can best informally be in touch.
3) If you want to volunteer, be specific. Tell the teacher what your areas of interest are. Come with suggestions or ideas for how you could be useful in the classroom. Teachers get overwhelmed trying to utilize parent volunteers. If we know you're really good at baking cookies and that you'd like to share that skill with the class, we're more likely to ask you to help.
4) Use Email.
5) If you have specific concerns about your child-perhaps your child has a severe food allergy, or ADHD, or you're worried about a learning disability that runs in your family, or even that your child is exceptionally gifted-email your child's teacher with your concerns, then ask for a time to meet to share important background information. You are an invaluable part of your child's academic team, and teachers want-and need-to hear from you. Just maybe not on the first day. Right at drop off.
6) Just once all year long, stop by with a large coffee for your child's teacher. It will make her think you are the nicest person in the entire world. Having your kid give his teacher a hand-decorated bag of homemade cookies will also make her think your family is the nicest family ever.
6) At the Holidays, write your child's teacher a thoughtful card noting a few reasons you really appreciate her. This goes farther than any gift you'll ever give.
7) Offer to coordinate a classroom activity such as a brunch, presentation, pizza party, etc. She'll swoon.
9) Bring in consumable supplies like tissues and wipes, without being begged to do so. (Supplies are in short demand in every school.) Other things you could randomly bring include balls for the recess yard, fun indoor recess games, or a dustpan and a kid sized broom. These things are pretty much considered GOLD by teachers.
10) Show up for your child's presentations, conferences and performances and show genuine interest in your kid. Seems totally obvious right? You'd be surprised at how many parents skip these things. Of course-work schedules make this difficult, and if this is the case, email your child's teacher ahead of time with the conflict.
That said, I know all of you who stop here regularly are already the most awesome parents and your kid's teacher's love you as it is. What are other things you've done to get to know your child's teacher that have worked well for you? And what are some things that maybe haven't?
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Janice Byrd 7-31-2008 @ 10:32AM
I am a mom and a teacher. Other ways to get to know your child's teacher and help him/her out at the same time is to volunteer to chaperone field trips and help with class parties. I know work makes it difficult, but even doing this once a year makes your child feel great and puts you at the top of a teacher's list.
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Sarah 7-31-2008 @ 10:54AM
As a middle school teacher, I can affirm that dropping off your child in the morning bearing coffee or cookies for their teacher will certainly help to win them over! As will helping to coordinate special events, donating classroom supplies (you are so right about the broom and dustpan!), and attending showcases. I would recommend that you not drop by during lunch the first week of school (or really ever) as that is often a teacher's busiest time of day. In fact, I recommend not dropping by unannounced at all. Call ahead or send in a note requesting a quick conference. Your child's teacher really wants to talk to you! I promise they will make time! You know your child better than anyone else and are a good teacher's greatest asset and ally. Good luck this year!
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Amy 7-31-2008 @ 11:45AM
As a former teacher and mom to a child who starts preschool this year I can affirm that this list is awesome! All it takes is a few little things that show the teacher you care and appreciate them. I do agree about not dropping by unannounced. Teachers rarely have spare moments in the day and lunch is no exception! This list was a good reminder of things I liked when I was teaching!
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Karen 7-31-2008 @ 12:21PM
I am a former teacher, currently substituting and have children in elementary and middle school.
I do not suggest stopping by unannounced or at lunch. This is an extremely busy time and teachers often have to eat lunch and finish up other work at the same time. If you want to bring a lunch to your teacher (yeah!) let her know ahead of time. Often parents want to surprise the teacher, but it is best to find out what she likes best and to let her know a day ahead so she can plan for it. Some schools have a policy against bringing outside restaurant food in the school because the students cannot have the same, so be sure to check the policy.
Not everyone drinks coffee. Again, the best thing to do is check with the school secretary. She will likely know the favorite food and drinks. And don't forget the secretary. She is the gateway to your child's classroom.
I don't buy any supplies for the classroom without asking the teacher what she needs. The first year I taught first grade, I had 15 bottles of left over hand sanitizer! If the school has an open house, ask the teacher if she has a wish list and provide something from that list.
When I volunteer in my child's classroom, I often offer to do whatever job she has the most trouble filling. Often times you have several people volunteering for the same job. If you don't have a strong preference, volunteer for the job your teacher needs the most.
I 100% agree that a handwritten note from the parent and/or the child is one of the most valued things you can do for your child's teacher. If you want to offer a gift, handmade items are nice, but gift cards seem to be the preferred item by most of the teachers I know. Food items are great, but often teachers are watching what they eat, so I wouldn't load up on the cookies and candy.
Great list! And try to remember that if you have a problem, to communicate with the teacher BEFORE you get all upset. There may just be a communication error.
I always tell parents that I'll only believe half of what their children tell me about them, if they believe half of what they hear about me!
Give them the benefit of the doubt!
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KG 7-31-2008 @ 1:07PM
As a former teacher, I have to say that lunch is the absolute WORST time to try and talk to a teacher, especially the first week. Before lunch, you're trying to get the kids organized to go to lunch (and the first week is the craziest). During lunch, you're either trying to have a few minutes of peace and quiet to clear your head, talking to colleagues, trying to get things done for the afternoon, taking care of personal business, or you know - eating. I really think you need to take that suggestion off your list in case people don't read the comments. Overall, a good list, though.
The best gift I ever got was during teacher appreciation week one year, one of the parents organized some of the other parents to bring me lunch ever day. That was unbelievably awesome and thoughtful. Gift cards are nice and notes are special and amazing, especially if the kids write them.
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rebecca Biernesser 7-31-2008 @ 1:44PM
I have been a room mom for the last two years for my son's class and wanted to share what we did a few times during the year. We arranged for our teacher to have a "break" that was not scheduled. Our principal had a real open door policy and we okayed it with her before we did anything first. We also waited and did it after we knew she had a busy time, like after testing, when everyone needed a break.
I arranged for parents (2 or 3) to join me and we stopped by the class and gave our teacher a book or something along those lines and her favorite drink and treat. She finished whatever she was doing (most times nothing b/c we had her schedule and always did it between subjects) and left. We then read to the class, did a craft, have the children write what they like best about her, etc.
Sometimes the best gifts are the ones that show them taht we remember that having alot of kids is/can be rough and you need a break.
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Mamacita 7-31-2008 @ 4:40PM
A hand-written note and a gift card to a restaurant: The two best gifts anyone could ever give any teacher. I was so tired after school that we often dined on cold cereal at night.
Stopping by unannounced, ESPECIALLY at lunch time: Please don't EVER do that. EVER EVER EVER EVER.
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Kathy 8-07-2008 @ 4:10PM
I agree that you should never stop by unannounced and expect the teacher to discuss your child, but as a mom, I am very concerned in the fact that I would not be welcomed to stop by and check on my child. I think some parents may abuse the system, but I believe that it is a parents perogative to stop by and monitor the situation they have placed there children in. At one of my son's daycare centers I stopped by to see my son, and overheard one of the teachers referring to a student as a cyclops (she happened to have a lazy eye) I immediately pulled my son out of that class, and continue to stop by there daycares unannounced, I just insure that I am not a disruption to the teachers or students.
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Christina 9-01-2008 @ 4:44PM
As a teacher, I appreciate how each year the PTA parents have me fill out a brief questionnaire about my likes/interests/hobbies/favorites, etc. Questions include my favorite color, needs for my classroom, favorite foods/drinks, collections/hobbies, etc. The room moms use these answers to choose gifts for me at special holidays, to bring me lunch or gifts now and then, and to plan special gifts for Teacher Appreciation Week.
I am a mom, too, so I can see both sides to stopping in unannounced. Parents do have the right to do this and I think they should! It is YOUR child! However, as a teacher, I know that these visits can be stressful and disruptive, especially when the parent wants to have your attention when it needs to be on the students. As a parent, just use forethought and think about what time would be best and decide how you will do it without disrupting the schedule and other students. I agree with the other post that recommended talking to the school secretary who can help you know when the best time would be to stop by. Also, make sure your REASON for stopping by is only to briefly observe your child in their classroom. Unannounced visits are NOT appropriate times to try and visit with your child's teacher or discuss concerns. That is what scheduled meetings during planning period are for! Oh, and don't be quick to judge if you come at a chaotic moment in the classroom. Some learning happens best in a seemingly unorganized situation. One moment does not give you a clear picture of how the classroom is regularly run. Make several quick and unintrusive visits at different times of the day before you develop any concerns.
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