Reality strikes, and farewell

by Linda Lee (Subscribe to Linda Lee's posts) Aug 1st 2008 8:00AM

I believe parenthood has brought on many positive changes for me, but I'll be the first to admit I've grown downright pedantic when it comes to movie or television scenes depicting pregnancy, childbirth, or the post-partum stage. "Oh, COME ON!" I'll snap, flinging a hand out in disgust at the actress whose strap-on belly, supposedly containing twins, barely pushes out the confines of her hospital gown, as she heaves a delicate sigh meant to convey the depths of her labor pains (Natalie Portman I am looking at YOU). "WHY ISN'T SHE THE SIZE OF A NARWHALE AND POOPING ON THE TABLE."

Newborn babies are always pudgy and adorable, probably because they're actually three months old -- they never look like underdone, angry little pot roasts. Post-partum parents are delirious with joy, sitting in soft-focus pools of light, and no one is furiously scratching their C-section scar or rooting around under the sink for yet another Super-Plus-Flow-with-Wings! maxi pad.

Well, I suppose I can understand why these vignettes might not make for a pleasant viewing experience, but I have to say, I LOVED last season's Friday Night Lights for the scene showing the coach in a grocery store a short time after their baby was born. Did you see that, where he's completely disheveled, wearing stained sweatpants, with purple half-circles under his eyes and a vacant, drooly expression? Now that's REALITY.

Oh, I guess I just like it when parenthood is shown for what it is: a beautiful, blissful endurance trial. It's like an endless, brutal trek up the slopes of a sky-sweeping mountain, where every day you wheeze and gasp and think, holy crap this is so much harder than I thought it was going to be, and yet you are constantly treated to the most glorious landscape. Every step seems so critical, and there are so many paths to choose from. It's indescribable. It's terrifying. Like gazing upon the face of God. A god with many, many bodily fluids.

I'm terrible at goodbyes (and segues!) so I will quickly close by saying that this will be my last post with ParentDish, and I want to thank you for reading. It has come to mean a lot to me to be able to talk about my motherhood experiences -- the good, the bad, and the yeeesh -- and I am so grateful for having had this outlet. Take care of yourselves, you hear?

Comments (41)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 3)

sharon 8-01-2008 @ 8:09AM

NO! I love reading your post! You get me through many days with laughter... I will miss your observations and snarky comments. I wish you the best and give your little men hugs from all who will miss hearing about their adventures.

Kate 8-01-2008 @ 9:26AM

We will miss you, both my husband and I have absolutely loved your commentary on life with kids. I will miss your blog more than I can express. Best of luck with all future endeavors!!

Michele 8-01-2008 @ 8:37AM

You will be missed! Will you be contributing to another website? Good luck and best wishes!

Kris H. 8-01-2008 @ 8:49AM

I will miss reading you here! I am just glad I can still find you elsewhere...I am sorry that the trolls have driven you away...You are AWESOME!

C 8-01-2008 @ 9:05AM

You can't leave! You always make me laugh and say "Thank God someone out there understands what am going through"! Best wishes and if there is somewhere else to catch you please let us know.

Courtney

Shawna 8-01-2008 @ 9:08AM

Well, I'll no longer have a reason to come to Parent Dish now. Thanks for the great writing.

Linda N. 8-01-2008 @ 9:11AM

Well, I don't need to come to ParentDish anymore. I'll be reading your site Linda

C 8-01-2008 @ 9:14AM

ok, maybe I missed it but where do we find this site of hers? I have tried finding her on google but all I get is sites on Bruce Lee's wife. HELP!!

CourtneySamantha@aol.com

Michelle 8-01-2008 @ 9:31AM

Agreed, thankfully I already read you at other places because ParentDish is going off of my feeder. (And I AM a parent, just not the kind that enjoys some of the crap that goes on around here.)

jenntarver 8-01-2008 @ 11:40AM

NO!! WHere will you be going??

queenoqueens 8-01-2008 @ 9:47AM

I would be interested in where your new blog is, if you're publishing that info. Good luck in your new ventures.

Jen 8-01-2008 @ 9:48AM

Good for you! Get the hell out of here. Best of luck everywhere else you write.

slowburn 8-01-2008 @ 2:17PM

Darn! I just discovered you! And I'm glad I wasn't actively drinking the hot liquid when I got to "they never look like underdone, angry little pot roasts."

Reminded me of the time my husband looked over at another table, saw a kid howling and quipped, "Damn, that kid looks so raw it's like he's still on the inside!"

I was nursing and terrified I'd bobble the kid off the boob - and flash the world - in laughter.

Michele 8-01-2008 @ 10:51AM

I'm sorry to see you leave, but happy for you that you will no longer have such trolls attempting to make you feel so shitty for your choices. ClubMom was sooooo much better!

Cheli 8-01-2008 @ 10:30AM

Oh no Linda you can't leave! You and your posts are what bring me back here every day to keep reading! Where are you going? Can I come? Our boys are so close in age and reading your posts gives me hope that I'm not going insane.

cml3720 8-03-2008 @ 5:11AM

I will really miss your hilarious & dead-on accurate commentaries. I appreciate reading the exact words I have uttered (sometimes in my head) so many times.

kim 8-01-2008 @ 10:34AM

I only read this site because you were on here. I came with you, I leave with you. One less place for me to lurk around and wait impatiently for you to post something new I guess. Consider yourself STALKED. (ok, for insurance purposes...that is a JOKE.)

pocklock 8-01-2008 @ 10:36AM

I've always enjoyed your posts here. In fact, like most others, you were the reason I started reading ParentDish. I think they'll see a pretty steep decline in traffic.

Trolls suck.

Jenny 8-01-2008 @ 10:48AM

I will miss reading you. I've never commented before, but I created a username just to comment on this post. Your baby and mine were born days apart. I looked forward to your posts because you always said EXACTLY what I was feeling. Good luck and best wishes.

mj12 8-01-2008 @ 10:51AM

I have to say it too.....NOOOOO......You make me bust a gut all the time while making me feel completely normal at the same time!

I would love to know where you'll be blogging next as well so I can continue to get my chuckles.

Thanks for all the smiles!

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