Reality strikes, and farewell

Filed under: Babies, Toddlers Preschoolers



I believe parenthood has brought on many positive changes for me, but I'll be the first to admit I've grown downright pedantic when it comes to movie or television scenes depicting pregnancy, childbirth, or the post-partum stage. "Oh, COME ON!" I'll snap, flinging a hand out in disgust at the actress whose strap-on belly, supposedly containing twins, barely pushes out the confines of her hospital gown, as she heaves a delicate sigh meant to convey the depths of her labor pains (Natalie Portman I am looking at YOU). "WHY ISN'T SHE THE SIZE OF A NARWHALE AND POOPING ON THE TABLE."

Newborn babies are always pudgy and adorable, probably because they're actually three months old -- they never look like underdone, angry little pot roasts. Post-partum parents are delirious with joy, sitting in soft-focus pools of light, and no one is furiously scratching their C-section scar or rooting around under the sink for yet another Super-Plus-Flow-with-Wings! maxi pad.

Well, I suppose I can understand why these vignettes might not make for a pleasant viewing experience, but I have to say, I LOVED last season's Friday Night Lights for the scene showing the coach in a grocery store a short time after their baby was born. Did you see that, where he's completely disheveled, wearing stained sweatpants, with purple half-circles under his eyes and a vacant, drooly expression? Now that's REALITY.

Oh, I guess I just like it when parenthood is shown for what it is: a beautiful, blissful endurance trial. It's like an endless, brutal trek up the slopes of a sky-sweeping mountain, where every day you wheeze and gasp and think, holy crap this is so much harder than I thought it was going to be, and yet you are constantly treated to the most glorious landscape. Every step seems so critical, and there are so many paths to choose from. It's indescribable. It's terrifying. Like gazing upon the face of God. A god with many, many bodily fluids.

I'm terrible at goodbyes (and segues!) so I will quickly close by saying that this will be my last post with ParentDish, and I want to thank you for reading. It has come to mean a lot to me to be able to talk about my motherhood experiences -- the good, the bad, and the yeeesh -- and I am so grateful for having had this outlet. Take care of yourselves, you hear?

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Start by teaching him that it is safe to do so.