Hair removal and girls - how young is too young?
Categories: Kids 5-7, Kids 8-11, Development, Life & style, In the news, Playground bureau
Whether it's from improvements in nutrition or chemicals in the food, the fact is many children are physically maturing at a much earlier age. While menstruation used to start around age 12, girls are reaching that developmental milestone much earlier, which is one of the reason salons are seeing the age of hair removal clients getting younger and younger.
"It's not uncommon for girls to get their period at 9 or 10 years old, and with that development comes increased hair growth," said Dr. Doris Pastor, a clinical associate professor of pediatrics at Mount Sinai Hospital.
Taking an early developer's feelings into consideration and getting hair removal at a young age to prevent or curb teasing is one thing, but salon workers see more than just motherly concern from some women. Many pre-teen hair removal appointments are for girls accompanied by women who appear to be trying to make their daughters look perfect.
"I had a mother who brought her daughter in, pulled up her shirt and asked us to wax the girl's back. The hair didn't seem to be bothering the little girl, but the mom was embarrassed and wanted it done," said Diane Fisher, owner of Eclips Salon and Eclips Kids Day Spa in McLean and Ashburn, Va. "I told the mom to wait until the child wanted it, but she refused." That little girl was just six years old.
Humans aren't supposed to be completely hairless save for the top of their head and eyebrows, but it seems like the new ideal is to look like a life-size Bratz doll. That there are mothers so invested in the appearance of their kindergartner's backs that they're willing to pay to have hot wax applied and the hair yanked off appalls me.
What is going on with the adults?!
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 7)
markycf 8-14-2008 @ 8:31PM
I started shaving my legs without my mom knowing for months. I was 13. I did it because I had hairy legs and my friends didn't. Now I don't care if my legs are hairy, but I also think that at 13 it is okay. If it is any younger then the parent should teach the child, girl or boy, to enjoy the hair and not be bothered by the difference.
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jetnette 8-16-2008 @ 9:53PM
Listen all you judgementalists. I am a hairy woman and I married a very hairy man. My oldest boy had a mustach and beard at 14. I have to cut the hair on my second sons forehead so that he has one, because his eyebrows and hairline meet. By the way his side burns grow around his ears to connect with his neck hair. Thank the Lord that we are all blondes. Anyway, my youngest is a girl and you can imagine at 12 she's just like mommy. She is concerned about becoming a doctor, not a barbie. However, we do everything possible about hair.......... So judge us mothers as you will, my daughter will never be unshaved in a bikini at the beach.
An G 8-16-2008 @ 10:56PM
I think it is ridiculous. I just can't imagine a 6 year old needing to have her back waxed. Her mother should be telling her that she is too young for this, and mom should be teaching her about being confident.about who she is. I can see this is the beginning of teaching this child low self esteem which could lead to other low self esteem issues such as weight. Mom don't do this!!!!
LadyV 8-16-2008 @ 11:04PM
I hear ya - I was getting teased at 13 about having legs as hairy as a guy's. My mother wouldn't let me shave, so I did it secretly. Glad I did.
Jami 8-16-2008 @ 11:34PM
It is true that looks aren't everything!!! I agree!!! The problem comes when the child is teased at school. You can teach your own child to be okay with it, but not the entire school of children. My daughter is 11 and has been getting her lip hair waxed for the last two years. We have also used Nare for facial hair. I think it is each parent's decision. Yes, I think waxing a six year old's entire back is extreme, but again, that is not my child. I would have never agreed to be the person to do it!!!
felissima72 8-17-2008 @ 2:56AM
this poor little girl is going to be messed up bc of her mother. It is her mother's job to build her confidence and let her know that she is beautiful just as she was created.
Jan Bay 8-14-2008 @ 11:08PM
Maybe the moms who are rushing their girls into body modification were teased when they were kids and are trying to protect their daughters? I'd love to believe that there is some noble intent in taking a little girl in for a painful and unnecessary procedure. Superficiality seems to be a way of life and we hear more and more complaints about vicious teasing.
My question is what happens when the mean girls don't have leg or arm hair to poke fun at? How deep will they dig to find a victim's sore spot to gouge?
The root of the problem is not a kid's ugly or laughable physical appearance. The true ugliness is in the need of one child to demean another to the point of misery.
I would love to know what is behind all this mean spirited behavior? Why do kids feel so badly about themselves that they need to attack to feel better?
Jan from http://www.unique-baby-gear-ideas.com/
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Kate 8-16-2008 @ 8:42PM
You definitely called it. I went to a private school growing up and we all wore uniforms. A lot of people think that uniforms are equalizers, but all it did was make people make fun of each other for their personalities. Sometimes it's hard to decide which hurts worse.
ITSME 8-16-2008 @ 9:40PM
bullying and teasing is as old as the earth, we need to be teaching our daughters to be strong women and to 'get over it' like we did. the teen years don't last forever, they need to know how to handle life and that not all problems are 'fixable'
melby 8-16-2008 @ 9:15PM
thank- you. that statement could not have been better said. you nailed it! Teasing has always been, however, these days parents look for ways to stop the harassment instead of building their childs self esteem in other ways. Thus building further self esteem issues with-in their children.
Mike 8-16-2008 @ 10:45PM
I think you got it right on with your comment. Today every body just cares about looks,and appearance, inner values have become secondary, respect an honor are just phrases to be thrown out to make a good impression, bullying and teasing the week has become a hobby, in my opinion human society is on a sharp decline regarding morals and ethics
Nina 8-17-2008 @ 1:08AM
I just feel that it is not appropriate for a child to have worries of hair growth and hair growth removal.The child should be running and playing like normal children rather than being concerned with things of that nature unless of course it bothers them to the point of being in pain or something like that.Only my opinion..
jeanav1565 8-15-2008 @ 8:31AM
I use to think it was crazy when young girls thought they needed to shave. My niece at 8 for example. Now with my girls I see where it depends on the child. My older one started shaving about 12 and my second just before 11. The reson is children are developing early. What child wants hairy armpits? Hair on legs you can let go but not under your arms. Yes I still think it's crazy they are getting hair and boobs I was much older. Thank god no period yet (now 13&11 yrs) I started when I was 15 I just hope they do the same. As for the mother that waxed her 6yr old's back I don't get it. On the other hand I had to laugh my 7yr old was sitting here with me and I told her should we do that to you? She was like yeah right mom. She has alot of hair on her back as well as legs arms. We just tell her she is part monkey lol. It's not a big deal and she don't care about it, we don't, and never has a child at school teased her about it. Something like that can wait. I sure wouldn't let her shave and I think she has more hair on her legs than the older two.
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jsolarwind 8-15-2008 @ 8:34AM
I have a conflicted view about this- on one hand, I was one of those rare girls in the early 80's who reached puberty before all her friends and started sprouting hair in embarrassing places- but my mom wouldn't let me shave!! She finally relented when I was eleven, and it was such a relief for me to be able to wear short sleeve/sleeveless shirts without worrying.
On the other hand, I have a twelve year old niece (a dark-haired, fair-skinned brunette like myself) whose mother, my sister, has taken the girl's grooming to extremes, checking into not only waxing, but laser treatment for her brows, hairline, arms, legs, and just about everything in between. She is terrified her daughter will be singled out for something her peers haven't even noticed yet, and it makes the little girl uncomfortable and self-conscious.
I just pray my own daughter develops at a slower rate than I did, and that she can enjoy being a little girl for many years before necessity forces her into taking on adult habits.
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D simon 8-16-2008 @ 9:22PM
I used near to remove hair when I was elleven and I was alergic to it and I had To tell my mom cause I broke out in hives. I was teased for reaching pubety at age elleven before my class mates. I was teased because of the hair on my legs and underarms my mom wouldn't let me shave .
After the near incident were I almost couldn't breath because of the severe reaction to it she decied to let me shave. It was stupid but my older friend said that it would take the hair away and no one would know.
Shaving is and always a pain but not sure if I would wax. Sounds painful and kids would sit for that?
Mary 8-16-2008 @ 11:35PM
I am guessing that your relative has never been to Europe, England, or Russia, because if she had she would realize that Americans are the most paranoid individuals on earth when it comes to natural body odor, and what differs a woman from a baby girl. Baby girls do not have body hair, mature women do. Women started feeling the need to please men with warped sexual feelings, thus they started shaving and waxing to remove body hair to please men. America, parts of South America, and Asia are pretty much the only places on earth that promote hairless bodies unless you are an athlete like a swimmer or a body builder. In those cases, one shaves to reduce drag in the water, and the other shaves in order to have an oiled down body show muscle definition.
Sabrina 8-15-2008 @ 8:55AM
I started noticing that the girls in my 5th grade class were shaving and brought it up to my mom. They were all a year older than me and she told me to wait a while. I was never teased about that, but I suspect that's probably because they never got past the untamed fro on top of my head to notice I had hairy legs. I started shaving that summer before 6th grade, and didn't get my period for another full year, until I was 12. My Uncle, oddly, teased me ABOUT shaving (he aparently noticed, but he's a weird dude), but that was it. I shaved and life went on.
Personally I would never encourage a little girl to wax because it HURTS, and that's just not ok. No little girl should think she has to go through pain to look pretty in someone else's opinion! If the hair bothered her, and there was no medical cause, I might be persuaded to shave it for her (on the back) or teach her how, but not before the 5th or 6th grade. It's not like elementary school kids are changing in front of each other in a locker room to SEE back/underarm hair.
As far as your question about mean girls Jan Bay, honestly there is NOTHING to be done. If you allow your daughter to shave because she's being teased it won't fix the problem, the bullies will find something else to pick on her about. There's usually not even a reason why it is your child that is being picked on. At least not one any mean girl would admit to. The best courses of action are being involved, getting teachers and administrators involved when necessary, and teaching your child about bullying and acceptable responses when being bullied.
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ame s 8-15-2008 @ 11:32AM
I started shaving under my arms at age 9 and my legs at age 10. I also started my period when I was 10.
My 10 year old daughter, who will turn 11 in January, has had her period twice. When she decides she wants to shave or use alternate hair removal methods, I will support her on that. Luckily, she isn't as "blessed" with abundant and darker body hair like mine.
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why 8-15-2008 @ 11:32AM
What floors me is that a professional would wax a young child's back (or other area) because the mom refused to wait. Could the salon professional not have simply refused to do the job? No way I would inflict such pain on a young child, for cosmetic reasons. Shame on some people who will compromise their own values for money.
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dawn 8-16-2008 @ 8:59PM
Professional Estheticians KNOW they are not supposed to wax children. First off, body hair is your first like of defense again sunburn. It helps to filter the suns damaging rays from burning the skin. Secondly, to remove it from a child is risking your LICENSE in many states. There are specific laws governing WAXING and other forms of hair removal. The parent should be explained that at the time of request. Finally, if the person waxing the child is not trained in waxing ... children's skin is thinner and more easily bruised or even ripped during the process. If wax is too hot...........it can seriously burn the child, if the was is unclean an infection or fungus can take hold. People, PLEASE STOP THE INSANITY!
Dawn McLaughlin, Licensed paramedica Esthetician and exotic body waxer.