Maybe it's time to switch games. Pick shorter games, so frustration doesn't have a chance to build up. Pick games that are more skill-based, so she feels there's something she can do to turn around her bad luck. (It also lets you discreetly cheat so that when you win you win by a smaller margin. Don't let her win, just don't whomp her 250 to 10!) Give her a handicap if you feel it's appropriate - it's not cheating, it's absolutely fair to give a weaker or much-younger player a handicap to level the playing field. In Uno, a fair handicap could be to allow her to pass after drawing a set number of cards, three or five. Choose games that offer more balanced play. Play several rounds instead of just one.

My older niece also gets very frustrated with games. We cope by using the methods above. We also have a firm rule that once you start the game, you have to finish it, that helps keep people from storming off. And at the end of every game we all shake hands and say "Good game", even if we lost. And we stress during every game that we're playing because it's fun, not because we *care* about winning or losing. It's working... slowly. She still gets upset (very) when she loses, but nowadays her response is usually to demand a rematch. She may be crying, but she's sure gonna try harder next time!

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It's okay to be competative and it does take work to get over not winning all the time. As a fellow competitor, it has made me the succesful person I am today.

I was the child who would cry if I didn't win a game, but my parents never let me leave a game just because I was losing. The other thing they did for me, as the youngest, was to point out how great I did play the game. If we were playing Yahtzee they would point out, after round two, that the decisions I had made that round gave me a higher score this round. They also helped me learn to use different strategies so that I could win a game (or come close).

I think the real key is to teach children to not give up. My autistic neice doesn't like losing a game, but she still sticks it out. I was very proud of her the first time I got to play a game of checkers with me. Besides that she kicked my you-know-what even the second time through when I really tried to win. The third time, when I did win, she could have stormed off, but she stuck it through. That comes from learning and what the adults teach her. Stick it out, do your best, and that's what counts.

I am VERY competitive by nature, even as an adult. I think why it hasn't made me a terror (as a child or adult) was that my parents were able to help me focus that competitive nature (in part) into myself. Can I be better than me? Can I play better than I did last time? What did I learn from the last time?

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Haha, my 3 y.o. pulled a wobbly today because I "winned" getting up the 3 metre path to the front door (he was on the pavement on his bike).

We're in for some fun!

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Holy cow, did I see Ellie’s name in this post?? This is personal. I love it. I’ve missed it so much. Is the tide turning back to the way PD used to be??? It looks like it to be true! I’m very happy if that’s the case. It was pretty bland and boring before and I see more of “us” coming back.

My oldest son didn’t like to lose but we wouldn’t allow quitting either. Sometimes you win, sometimes you don’t and you just shake hands at the end and say “good game” and start the next one. We used to let each child pick what they wanted to play each night and played a variety of games. I like Uly’s suggestion about not letting them win but slyly not killing them. I don’t believe you should lose on purpose but on the other hand, maybe “not seeing” something is okay every now and then.

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I want to second the joy of seeing some personal stuff here again. This entire blog has turned into a (slow) news aggregator, gathering vaguely child connected product and celebrity information. There is virtually no soul left. How I miss the Blogging Baby days.

To the topic on hand -
I don`t think that I was ever a sore loser... And from my own memories, I think that "letting" a child win is the WORST thing you can do. Maybe at 3 or 4 it`s alright - but treating them as an equal player is best in my opinion... And in my experience with teaching 5 to 7 year olds. You are the adult, of course you`re going to have an advantage. Children DO understand this. If you`re playing a game that levels the field a bit and they win, that makes them feel all the much more pleased with their accomplishment.
When they *expect* to win - something that happens when you "let" them win frequently - winning is the normal end of a game in their mind. Losing is unfair, they are supposed to win!
Losing should be the normal outcome, with winning a pleasant surprise.

That was how things were handled when I was a child. I lost most of the time - and no one made a big deal out of it. I was told that as I got older and better at the game, I would win more - and to think of each loss as practice. I did, and thinking that way let me be able to admire people who were better than I was instead of simply being frustrated or angry with them when I lost.

I think that having that sort of attitude has made my life much easier, and made me much happier. I like knowing the worst possible outcome, and preparing for it so that I will have a higher chance of being pleasantly surprised when things do go my way. If you expect to win, it only hurts if you lose. But if you figure that the worst that could happen is losing, you`re more likely to take challenges and be thrilled when you do win.

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We've had a similar problem with our daughter. I can't say that we approached it any intelligent way, except to keep reinforcing that you can't always win, that being a sore loser stops people from playing with you, that she's too young to always win, etc. etc. etc. I did notice though that when we played more frequently, she got better at losing. Then when we take a break, she starts reverting to her old sore loser ways......so maybe consistent practice at losing with lots of suportive talk from the parents might help???

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If you think your little ones are sore losers, just wait until you see the high school sports scene.
The boys are animals, the girls are screaming witches and the parents run onto the field screaming and cursing officials and coaches.
What a treat!
But I digress.
When we were kids I could care less if I won or lost; games were all meaningless drivel to me and were a way to kill time in the company of kids I did not like or have anything in common with (I was stuck with them because my mom chose my playmates for me, based on what was convenient for her and not what might be a good fit for me).
My brother, on the other hand, went ballistic every time things did not go his way.
My parents did nothing, hoping he would grow out of it. He did not.
He is 46 now and still every bit as selfish and childish as he was as a four-year-old.
My kids are VERY competitive and successful athletes but they are good sports (the only ones on their team, I might add). Right from the start, my husband and I taught them to respect others and we DID NOT tolerate any poor sportsmanship, even when they were very small.
As they grew older and played sports, the kids around them acted like animals but they knew what would happen to them if they made one false move so they were often the only ones who shook hands after a game.
If one of them started with the pouting, that kid was grounded, lost ice cream or TV time, whatever it took. I was determined that my children would not end up like my jerk brother and it wasn't that hard. It took my kids almost no time to figure out that they could not whine and pout if things didn't go their way.
Now they are the only ones who are not screaming obscenities and making lewd gestures to the kids on the other team and bawling like two-year-olds if they lose.
We are pretty disgusted and I checked out a private school but the kids there are just as bad.
It's a shame because really this was an easy one to nip in the bud. I don't remember having to punish for this one more than half a dozen times before they got the idea that they had to be gracious losers.

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People think that letting a child,win in any thing is good well it's not because just like us no one likes to loose,but life is like that sometimes.If you let children keep winning they will never learn how to lose,they will grow up thinking that,people owe them a win!I used to do day care for a child like that who would stomp off every single time she was loosing,but i had a firm rule which was this,
1st time you quit-you can come back but cannot,start were you were,you start from the begainning.
2nd time-you quite you're done..Also she would like to move the other players pegs or put back and look at others people card,an everytime i would catch her doing that i would start her over...after the third time I would simpley tell her Sorry.your done,go sit in the other room until we are finished..Iwould not allow her in the same room,with me and the other kids,who were playing even if she QUIT!Children NEED TO KNOW HOW TO LOOSE!When they start playing high school/college sports-they are not going to be allowed to quit just cuz they did not win!The coaches WILL not allow IT PERIOD!Just like us at our jobs,we cannot JUST "QUIT"just because we lost a position to someone else,yes we can be mad becasue the is "NORMAL"reaction,but we cannot just go stomping off and quit because of that we would never solve anything and most importantly our boss would NOT tolerate that!Problem with children-is just this we want to sheld them which in some cases it maybe fine an even a good thing,but we cannot sheild them from life we are"HURTING" them,not "HELPING"THEM AS WE SEEM TO THINK,,,

JUST MY THOUGHTS

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Funny thing. I just went through this very thing last night with my 6 year old, while playing, of all things, Hulk Smash. He cried and cried when he lost.(Yes. I took him down, but I swear it was out of my control!) When I asked him if he wanted to play again and get another chance to win, he took a minute and shook it off. In the meantime, I was keeping my fingers crossed that the dice would work in his favor. Comments like, "We are really close on the board! Anyone could win!" seem to help. Lets face it, no one wants to lose and being competitive can be good. I really think getting used to losing, just like falling off a bike and getting back on, is all about playing the next game. The key was that my son was willing to try again. He won the second game and won it graciously. If we model how to play the game and how to lose it and we are sensitive to how hard it can be to lose, our kids will get there. We just have to make sure they get "back on the horse."

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