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A firstborn goes to kindergarten
Filed under: Big Kids, Day Care & Education
Yesterday, I took my five-year-old for a back-to-school haircut. She'd decided she'd had enough of her long, straight hair and wanted a chin length bob. At home it seemed like a good idea, but when the stylist lifted her scissors to cut off that first length of hair, I nearly had to hang on to the counter to stop myself from snatching her back out of that chair. That's pretty close to how I feel about the upcoming first day of kindergarten. It's not about the hair, of course, it's about the letting go and letting her grow up. Kindergarten is a huge milestone, but part of me wants to scoop her up and tell the world, "You can't have her yet. She's still all mine."
NYMetroParents has some good advice for parents facing that first day of kindergarten, two that especially stick out for me. The first is that, no matter how ambivalent I might be feeling about school starting next week, my game face is always on for my daughter. We talk frequently about how much fun it's going to be, how exciting it is to start "big girl school," how it'll be great to see her preschool friends again and make new friends as well. Though I'm watching her closely for signs of anxiety or nerves, I keep my personal angst to myself.
The second piece of advice that I think is important for moms and dads is this: Don't be ashamed of your emotions. I doubt I'll cry when I leave her there that first day. I ripped that particular band-aid off last fall when I left her at preschool for the first time. But it's normal to feel reluctant when change occurs, even positive change like the first day of kindergarten. It's a new routine, a new way of life, and a new giant step for your little one who's leaving babyhood behind. Tears are perfectly acceptable.
We're fortunate to have a school that recognizes that kindergarten is a big step for kids and parents alike. We attended a school-wide open house last spring, where we had a chance to meet the kindergarten teacher and see the classroom. Earlier this month, her teacher made a home visit so that she could get to know us better. And late this week, there's another open house so that kindergarteners can see the room with their parents, drop off their school supplies, and set up their work areas. These steps are all put in place to help the kids feel more comfortable when school starts, which will help the parents as well. If I can walk out of that room the first day knowing she's ok, I'll be ok too.
Do you have a little one starting school this year? How are you handling it?
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
8-19-2008 @ 4:12PM
KimberlyMom in the City said...I can SO relate. My oldest son is going to preschool for the first time this year. It's only 2 and 1/2 hours a day, but I'm still both excited and nervous at the same time!
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8-19-2008 @ 4:56PM
Michelle said...Both of my babies are in full-day school for the first time this year. My daughter is in Kindergarten and my son is in Pre-K. I am a mess!
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8-19-2008 @ 6:25PM
the goddess anna said...I must be a horrible mom, because I've been looking forward to my eldest starting school for a very long time. She has afternoon kindergarten, and my boys take long afternoon naps, so I'm going to be getting some much-needed "Mommy Time."
I'm also eager for her to start because she loves to learn, and she needs some more friends. I'm not sad that she's going to be gone for three hours - she's been in and out of daycare/preschool for years (and for much longer stretches). Yeah, it's a milestone, but maybe I'll get sappy when she starts 'real' school (1st grade).
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8-19-2008 @ 8:28PM
Tamyu said...I too must be a horrifically cold mother.
I sent my son to start at full day 3-year kindergarten this April. (The school year here starts in April rather than September). He was 3, now is 4, and spends 9 to 4 in school.
And I`m very happy with that. He reached the age where I just couldn`t provide enough excitement, entertainment, and education without going somewhere neat and new EVERY day. Besides the fact that there is housework that needs to be done, with the price of gas these days... It just wasn`t feasible.
He loves it. He`s happy to go in the morning, and happy to come home when they`re done with the day. He has an outlet for much of his energy so sleeps better at night and is just generally much more agreeable and pleasant when he is at home. He has a number of friends, and learns a ton from all of them - all those little childhood things that I have either forgotten or don`t know.
I`m absolutely thrilled to see him growing up.
It does make me want another baby to start the whole process over again though!
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8-19-2008 @ 9:12PM
Michelle said...Oh, no. Don't get me wrong. I am SO ready for a break! They started last Monday and my daughter seems to be adjusting well and my son, while a little confused about the change in venue ( he was in a self-contained preschool classroom with the school system 3 days a week last year) is loving his teacher and new trucks. I love being able to do my grocery shopping and laundry without hearing "Mommy, Mommy! Thomas' coupling broke'd!" If you don't have a train fanatic in your house, that simply means Thomas has separated from one of his freight cars and my son, though 4, does not have the fine motor capability to reconnect them.
It's just hard. I was a working Mom when my daughter was a baby, then I was forced into being a SAHM when my son was born. So, for the last 4 years, my kids have been pretty much with me 24/7. I feel odd going about my day without at least one of them there, shadowing me, needing something. In fact, I had to run into a dr's office with whom I have an appt Mon. The office mgr asked me if I was bringing my babies in with me, since I have when I come in every 6 mos for the last 5 yrs.
I intend to do alot of volunteering in both classrooms.
8-20-2008 @ 8:57AM
rebecca Biernesser said...I did the sending child off to kindergarten three years ago. He is my oldest and he did great. The one thing I can say about it is to walk them where they are supposed to be and help them put things away and then say i love you and i'll see you later and leave. if you have a child that is going to be upset, don't hover, it only makes it worse and makes you feel worse. You will be surprised at how fast they stop when you are not around.
The other thing....if you are able....GET INVOLVED in the school. Its a great way to meet new people and to really get to know the school. and to find out how your school really is when the bulk of parents are not there....you might be surprised....
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8-20-2008 @ 9:40AM
Vicki Porter said...My daughter is only 3 1/2 and I'm having anxiety about her starting kindergarten. She will be starting her second year of half-day preschool this fall and I love that, but something about her starting "real school" gets me all teary. Heaven help me when September 2010 gets here.
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8-20-2008 @ 9:40AM
nicolebarber said...I couldn't wait for my firstborn to go to kindergarten, at the time I was a single parent and the price of daycare would be going down.
We had fun shopping for the school supplies, the hair cut, buying new shoes and the clothes.
Watching him grow up and accomplish things, has been great. I cried the first day of kindergarten, first grade, second, third and fourth. I miss my little four year old who relied on me for help.
Now his sister is another story, she starts kindergarten next year.
She's excited and I'm a wreck I am not ready for her to grow up.
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8-20-2008 @ 11:47AM
Paul Cyopick said...My twins went into JK last year (the same school as my son, who'se in grade 2), and the school was great about it. They bring in a few kids every day for the first week, to make them feel special. I was invited to spend an afternoon with them, and was my girl's "Show and Tell" item for the day. They were excited about starting school, especially when the school is literally on Sesame Street.
As for me, I' have to admit there was a tear or two in my eye. Not only because my little ones are growing up, but because Mommy isn' t here to see it happen. (My wife passed away from cancer 2 years ago).
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8-22-2008 @ 11:07AM
Clara Lambert said...My oldest daughter is 5 years old and started kindergarten on the 18th of this month. When I took her to the bus stop I had a straight face, but when she got on the bus to be honest I did cry, because my baby is growing up. But it is now Friday and I am doing alot better. She loves school and that makes me happy. But believe me it was hard at first. But I got over it. Just think I have another baby at home who will be going to school in 5 years. I might do better with her, maybe I won't cry.
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9-09-2008 @ 8:53PM
Iris said...A kid starting school for the first time (or doing anything for the first time) is an important milestone and one that makes a parent both happy and a bit melancholy at the same time. You always look back to when they were younger and marveled at how they've grown (at 4-5 years old) and yet you are happy and proud. All you can do is prepare them for school. For those parents looking for something educational to prepare your kids for kindergarten and elementary school you should check out http://www.k5stars.com they have some really fun reading and math games that kids love.
Remember your kid will do great in this new adventure and you will, too.
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