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Riding the subway - to school?
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How do your kids get to school? How did you get to school when you were a kid? Taking the yellow school bus, walking or riding a bike may all seem like normal methods of getting to school. In the modern world, we drive and carpool as well. But what about in urban environments where a lot of parents don't drive or even own a car? They take the subway.
And they do it ALONE. That's right--I've seen it myself. Kids popping onto and off of the subway without a parent in sight. How do they manage it? And why, you might wonder, do their parents let them do it? Well, necessity is the mother of invention and a lot of other things, it turns out. Kids are going in one direction, their parents in another (to school versus work), and the main way to get around town in New York, for example, is underground.
Turns out, it's probably safer too. Driving in this city is a disaster on a good day. You're a LOT less likely to get into an accident on the subway than you are in your car. Plus, the kids tend to travel in packs on the subway. I never see a kid get onto an empty car at an odd (non-rush hour) time. They pick which car to meet up on and collect as the train makes its stops toward their final destination. I know because I can hear them screeching above my iPod.
Plus, and I know this goes against everything you've heard about New Yorkers, but the people on the subway look out for kids--even when they're not their own. If a kid gets onto a car by herself, I've noted people taking notice and making sure she gets a seat, etc. They care. And they're aware. Basically, it would seem that most of New York is actually watching out for your children.
This doesn't mean that just any kid at any age is ok to ride the subway. The kid has to be old enough to know to follow the rules. And, she needs to be trustworthy. Kids who tend to get into a lot of trouble don't seem to have the same amount of independence their counterparts who can keep it together are afforded. They leave the house at a certain time and are expected back at the house by a certain time in the afternoon, no bones about it. We also have cell phones and other technology to help us stay in touch with our kids more easily than ever. That makes it a lot easier to let a child take public transportation knowing they can--and hopefully do--check in with us.
I never see--ok, well, I rarely see--kids getting into fights or making trouble for other passengers when they're riding the subway to school. Mostly they talk (screech) amongst themselves, they read or they do their homework. The train is actually a MUCH more conducive place to get some work in for adults and children. There's none of that carsick business going on!
The other transportation option in the Big City is usually the bus. Buses are slow but they do the trick just as well. They cost the same amount as the subway but they are above ground and therefore more prone to being part of an accident. You do have to consider the carsickness issue on the bus but some parents really prefer to keep their kids above ground for whatever reason.
While I used to get nervous seeing kids alone on the subway, especially now that I am a parent, I can certainly see the advantages--it's less expensive and safer than driving, takes less time, is better for the environment, gives the kids a chance to hang out together and socialize in the morning and get their work completed, and gives them a sense of direction and independence they might not otherwise have access to. That all sounds great. We'll see how I react when my kid is old enough!
And just how old is that? I've seen kids between the ages of eight and ten, but mostly it's middle school children I see on the subway. What do you think--what age is best for kids to start taking urban transportation ALONE?
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
8-20-2008 @ 2:25PM
Paul Cyopick said...My son is 8, and my twin girls are 5. I don't own a car, so we go everywhere by public transit here in Toronto. I quiz my son while on the TTC what bus we're on, what direction, what subway stop is next etc. I'm beginning to do this with the girls as well.
Recently my son rode a bus alone and met me at the subway, as we were going to a Bluejay game. If I went all the way home after work, we would have missed the beginning of the game. He did great, and we saw a fantastic game.
I think it's important for my kids to feel independent, and of course be aware and self sufficient should they ever get lost.
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8-20-2008 @ 8:41PM
Uly said...LOL, this goes right up with the article on the NYTimes the other day about how tourists are amazed at the silliest things :)
(http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/19/nyregion/19tourists.html)
For the record, if my mother thought that I - a socially awkward child with no sense of direction, a bad memory for places (they used to joke that I'd get lost if you spun me around, but the sad/funny part is that it's not a joke), and a tendency to get totally absorbed in a book and have no idea of the world around me - was ready to take the train and bus by myself at 11, I see no reason that the average child can't do the same.
Heck, my mother thinks (and I agree) that a mutual friend of ours is stressing herself out too much over public transportation. As far as my mother is concerned, you should be able to put any normal eight year old on a bus, tell them what stop they're getting off at, and have somebody waiting at the other side - and expect them to manage the bus entirely alone. (And she's right. That's such a baby step.) Of course, *she* was allowed to take the train by herself down three stops to visit an aunt when she was 5, but her own mother was raised much less freely and was clearly basing her own parenting decisions on "Not Like Mom".
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8-21-2008 @ 12:47AM
markycf said...My parents have let my brother and sisters and I ride the train alone once we were 13. If we were going out with friends it was different. Also my parents would take us for a while on the bus or the train even if we were older to help us get around easier. I've seen kids that are 8, but mostly kids that are 11 and up riding the train by themselves. The most people that cause trouble on the train are high school students and they're just loud and rude, but they don't start any fights. They're just really annoying. I know that when I see a child on the train alone I definitely look out because I wouldn't want to feel as if I'm not safe on the train if I were a child. I think it is okay when the child is 13. If parents know that their child is responsible and can handle themselves then far be it from me to say that they shouldn't.
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8-21-2008 @ 8:30PM
bob15s15 said...The age at which children should be allowed to use public transportation alone varies according to the times, as well as the kind of public transportation. Fortunately, in NYC (and most major US cities) crime has been down compared to 20 years or so ago (and civility has been up), so parents can send children on public transportation with more confidence once again (although I doubt we'll ever return to the days of my childhood when 8 year-olds commonly took the subway alone). Despite the higher likelihood of being in an accident in a bus vs.on the subway, the fact is that when buses are involved in accidents, its are not the ones likely to be hurt so the higher accident rate should not be factored in when considering buses vs. trains,and, as a parent, I certainly would send children alone on buses long before allowing them to take a subway alone because if something goes wrong in the subway, they are much more likely to have a real problem and have limited options, if they have any options at all. If a bus gets stuck, passengers can be let out, for example,whereas if a train gets stuck, passengers may be inside for hours--then have to walk on the tracks. Fires,nuts,etc. are other considerations,as is the fact that there's always a bus driver close by,whereas on a train someone could suddenly be alone in a car. In NYC,most middle-schoolers should be able to take a bus alone today. For subways, I would wait until high school if possible.
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