Read the article, she says these are not her thoughts. She is paraphrasing another article.

I agree with you! I have been married almost 28 years. My husband and I have not always agreed on things, but if you believe marriage is for keeps, that mindset drives you to work at it. When we couldn't work things out, we went to our pastor to ask for help. We were embarrassed at first, but wanting a good marriage was the incentive we needed. Now, having worked through the biggies, we have a wonderful marriage. But it was work! It wasn't handed to us, and had we entertained the possibility of divorce, I'm quite certain we would be divorced by now. It's just too much easier to end it rather than work at it.

I too thought my marriage was a good one. I had been divirced from a abusive 1st husband when I met him. He was a little younger than me. We were married 15 yrs. The first 10 were really good, the last 5, we started spending less and less time with each other. He was negative, never happy about things, He started to buy toys, boat, motorcycle,ATV, new trucks every 2 yrs, corvette, toy hauler, and fianally a bar last year with his brother. I know sex is a important issue in the marriage, but I was not into kinky sex, I started going through memopause, women knows what is like, and sex was not on the the top of my list some days. It got where I walked on egg shells at home doing things with my friends. Every time we tried talking about our problems it was a big fight. I was second to his mother. I rode the motorcycle with him, didn't like it, and because of a back injury could only ride short distances. He got into motorcycle rallies 2 years ago, I saw the pictures, nothing but a porn festival, naked people, sex infront of people, he came home a different person. Last year after the Little Sturgis in Kentucky annual rally and after we borrowed money to buy the bar, he met a skanky woman from Tennessee at the rally, a man dropped her off at a gas station and left her there, and along comes my husband for gas and gives her a ride to the rally. And after that weekend, the marriage was over according to him. He came back, angry, I never did anything right. I found out about her in September we were divorced in November. My life was shattered, he showed her around to friends of our at the bar before the divorce was final, he is a different person. I had to file a restraining order againest him after the divorce, kept coming to the house anytime he wanted too.
Call me filthy names, pushed me into a wall and shove his fist to my face. Blamed me for the divorce, because I did not give him all the sex he wanted, ride the bike all the time, He became selfish and was not the man I married. He has recently quit a good paying job, he got the toys, I got the house in the divorce. The girlfriend wanted the house. i fought for it. His hair is down to his shoulders, he has bought a 80 yr old house on some lands with dreams to open a motorcycle rally in a small town. The skanky woman has moved from tenessee and is living with him. Left her kinds in Tennesse, because he and the kids did not get along, and did not like each other. She chosse him over her family.
4 weeks ago he came over for tax reasons, he still drives by, has even set out in front of the house one afternoon, thinking I was out of town, I had gotten home early. When he came over, we started talking about some things that wnet wrong. He stated that we had a really good marriage, he had fun with me, and thinks about me at times. He stated that our marriage was 95% good, but 5% not good. I looked at him and ask if giving up fifteen years , because 5% was not good. He had know answer. It has been almost a year now, 4 months ago I would have taken him back, now no. I am starting to move on, redoing the house, spending time with friends, and spending time by myself. I hope someday to meet someone else. The moral of this story, is no divorce is not a option, they make it too easy. Marriage is a job, but with things againest you, ( I am not saying I am perfect, I am not). When you fight the fight that you cannot win. I fought hard, I still love him, but he thought this is what he wants. I wish him good luck, and continue on my journey. Thanks for listening.

It is funny that after 16 years something like this would happen. Shame on you! For better or for worse means that! Except in cases of abuse I say if someone wants to leave a marriage because of low expectations they should leave and leave everything behind. This way it would make it hard for a person to just walk out. I am not saying that every case the plaintiff need to be left high and dry. Cases were abuse and infidelity are proven and documented would be an exception.
How many males or females would decided to break up a marriage under this scenario. Lets get out of the fast food era and back to a time where the definition of a life time commitment, meant just that. Remember the words are "till death do you part".

HERE IS A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE - FROM A GUY:
Weve been married for over 14 years, we are late 40's w/ 2 elem. school kids;

We had a rough spell several years ago where the pressures of work kept me at work more time than at home. (no abuse, faithlessness, running around,outside toys or any of that.)

One night - she told me "she didnt know if she wanted to be married to me anymore." I was crushed.

Its been 3 years since then - but I feel like I have worked hard to do the things she has wanted to be a better husband and a more romantic boyfriend.

But - I still dont know if her feelings have changed.
Does she still think about divorce?
Though I have asked - she dodges the issue and I still wonder.

Our roles have reversed - I am a guy who wants to talk about it, and she is a woman who doesnt want to talk about it. That cannot be a good sign, right?

So - as a guy - if I think I am doing all I can (and the things she would like) to make our marriage better, and to make her happy, how do I know she is not 'dreaming of divorce' and one day I wont come home to an empty house?

From the woman's perspective - what does a guy need to do to improve both of our feelings about our marriage and get to the kind of relationship we all want to have?

To quote Ruth Graham, the Rev. Billy Graham's late, lovely, wife:
"Divorce? Never! Murder? Occasionally!"

Sherry, you are so right !!!!!

I got married when I was 18 and no it wasn't because I was pregnant. I just knew he was the one! I've been married for 22 years and no, it's not all happy times, but what do you expect marraige to be? This article is a bunch of bull! Anyone who thinks about divorce obviously wants out not sometimes, all the time! I can't imagine my life withut my husband.

I don't know if there is such a thing as a happy marriage.... I have divorced once because of abuse....verbal and physical. I helped my then husband with his business every day, I worked a minimum of 60 hours a week. Never got paid. Went to technical school at night to improve myself, came home and found him in bed with another woman. Nice! I thought of divorce every day for a long time before I finally filed. I then remained single and happier for about eight years, Two years ago I finally remarried. This marriage isn't much better. I now have my own house, bought by myself with no one's help. My second husband signed a prenup. I have paid all the bills for a year and a half, when I asked my husband to contribute more he won't. He says it's not his house, I've only asked him to pay half. Currently, he pays a quarter of his salary toward bills. I pay everything else and struggle every month to make enough money. When we argue he becomes verbally abusive, he loves to spit at me too. I can't tell you how many times he has thrown plates of food against the walls, or broken things that I have paid for. I tell him to get out all the time. He hides his paychecks, and bank statements, has a secret password to e-mail his ex in Canada. (They have a teenage daughter) He speaks to her every day and are very friendly with each other. I have sponsored his immigration so he can work here and make good money, co-signed for a new car for him, do the laundry, fold, and iron his shirts. I keep an immaculate house and still I'm not good enough. I even went to culinary school for a year to become a better cook for us. I now work in a kitchen restaurant at night. My food is not good enough either. We have never gone away together not even for a honeymoon. I live with snide remarks every day and yes I contemplate divorce. Oh, we haven't been intimate for a year and half. Not because I don't want to but because he's not interested.
I have tried so hard to make this marriage work but find that the men I have lived with take me for granted. I wonder if there are any men out there that pay all the bills, take their wives on vacations, spend money on them, and treat them with respect. I haven't met anyone like that yet. I'm educated, self sufficient, have no kids/baggage from a previous marriage. Have given of myself time and time again and get nothing back for it. Yes, I think of divorce every day, yes, I'm fussy, yes, I have high standards but I have accomplished everything by myself - and try to share everything I have. When I argue, I argue with my husband to make our marriage better. At this stage in my life, with no children and a disinterested husband I couldn't care less if I think about divorce every day. If a nice man came into my life I would probably go out with him on the side, What would I have to lose? Nothing. I wish a nice man existed in this world. And I have had so much to offer.....what a waste of my life.

Yeah Sherry, read the article.

John, trust me your wife is thinking about divorce everyday and is not interested in trying anymore, stop wasting your good heart on her, plenty of women who would love a man like you!

Well said. I had that same thought when I read it. I truly do think I deserve better but, divorce is NO OPTION for me (unless it's something serious). Divorce is just a word that men and women like to use when an argument engages and don't know how to handle it.

Like I tell my husband, "once s**t hits that fan you want to run and not deal with the problem at hand"....

You haven't read the article, but you want to make a comment on this woman's viewpoint? I think she certainly has a valid point and I, for one, identify with it. The marriage we deserve is often the one that is created in fantasy land. Men are as much to blame as women. And it's just like a job; sometimes you just need to move on. I would rather leave on good terms than live with someone and grow to despise him.

You are so right. There are a billion deadbeat moms out there looking for a free ride gravy train by exploiting a fathers child as well as the father for unerned income as well as manic control. We MUST end our no fault divorce laws and hold todays women accountable for their own behavior. Betty

This patootie has waaaaay to much time on her hands............!

The reason this is true is because we live in a society that gives everything to women and minorities. women dream of divorce because it is pretty much impossible that she will be worse off financially or otherwise as a result of it. men on the other hand always lose in divorce, its crazy... i'm a young male, and not married... i probably never will get married or have kids because most women these days are just looking for a payday, either through kids or a divorce... also i fight every day because the white male has become the most disadvantaged person in this society... we compete against a different set of standards... but hey, let the illegal immigrants do whatever they want, continue to promote people based on race rather than qualifications, give healthcare to everybody and RUIN our quality of care... just look at canada... this country is going to hell... thanks for reading my rant.

HI EVERYONE
FROM THE BILLY KID 1245,, WE GOT MARRIED ON AUG 30, 1986 AND DIVORCED ON OCT 15, 1999, THAT WHY ?? SHE AGURE WITH ME MANY TIME SINCE 1988, I TOLD HER THAT I HAD MY MANAGER OF BILLS CONTROL FOR PAY ETC BILLS PER MONTH TILL JAN 8,1998 SHE LEFT OFF ME FOR ONE MONTH TILL SHE RETURNED WITH ME ON FEB 1, 1998 TILL TWICE TIME FOR SEPERATED OFF HER TO MOVED TO GERIOGA ( SOUTH OF ATLANTA, GA BY 90 -100 MILES ON AUG 22, 1998, IT RUINED ME BECAME DEPRESSION AND HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE , SOMEONE DID GREAT JOB FOR HELPED ME FILED FOR DIVORCE PROCEED TILL I WON MY DIVORCE CASE ON OCT 15, 1999,, THEN I DECIED TO SAY THAT I WILL NEVER BE RE-MARRIAGE SAME EX SPOUSE OR OTHER NEW WOMAN FOR LIFE OF MY CHRIST ,, I KNOW THAT BAD DIOVORCE RATE ALMOST 80 -95 % AROUND THIS POINT USA NOW OF AUG 27, 2008 - 9:52 P.M. ,, I AM FREEDOM OF INDEPENDCE FROM 1999 TO NOW ,, I HEAR LOTS PEOPLE DIVORCE AND SORRY ,, THANK YOU BY THE BILLY KID 1245

I read the article, and I disagree that all women think about divorce every day. None of my friends think about divorce. When we get together, we talk about our husbands and divorce never has come up in the conversation. I have been married for 30 years now and I knew he was the one from the very day I first saw him. In my opinion, a marriage is a bond between man and woman brought together before God. When you say your vows, you don't say until something or someone better comes along, its until death do us part. We don't go to bed angry at each other, and we are best friends. When I cry he holds me, and when he hurts, I hurt. The only thing we ever argued about was money or the kids. I don't think we have even had an argument in 20 years. We raised four wonderful children together, two were his from a former marriage. We didn't at first, but we now keep God at the head of our marriage. I was blessed with a wonderful man. Yes marriage is work, but if you have to work to please each other, or to make each other happy, it will never happen. When you truely love someone, you want to please them and make them happy. Their needs and wants come before yours, and you give them all you've got. Money, a house, cars, toys, they are all temporary. Your marriage shouldn't be.

I am sick and tired of yelling, being yellled at, disrespecting, accusations, non listening of what I am saying and interupting so that I am chased away from what I was saying. I so want a divorace and when I tell him he is great for ONE day and reverts back to the ol ways. Tomorrow though i am going to a Para Legal and filing!