Mom presses charges after 12-year-old son crashes van
Categories: Just for moms, Teens & tweens, Health & safety, In the news
We've covered quite a few stories here where a kid climbs into the driver's seat of someone's car and takes it out for a spin. Sometimes the kid is looking for chocolate. Sometimes it's an Applebee's fix. Other times, there is no destination in mind, just a joyride. Usually the ride - and the story - ends when the kid crashes the car into something. This ride ends that way, too. But unfortunately, this is probably just the beginning of the story for this kid.
Unlike the car-thieving kids mentioned above, the Longmont, Colorado boy who took his mother's van in the wee hours of the night isn't a toddler. He's a 12-year-old who police say was trying to prove to his 14-year-old friend that he could drive. Long story short, he can't drive and proved that by crashing the van into someone's garage.
He managed to back out of the smashed garage and flee the scene. He returned mom's van to her driveway and went back to his 14-year-old friend's house, where he was having a sleepover. Except somebody should have told him that you can't actually smash a car into someone's garage and think you can get away with it. Police easily tracked him down using the clues he left behind - a license plate at the scene of the crash and a broken windshield with bits of fence in it on mom's van.
Mom, being the registered owner of the van, got a visit from the police and she was none too happy. She immediately said she wanted to press charges and the kid was arrested that afternoon. He's now in the Boulder County Juvenile Detention Center facing a whole slew of possible charges: aggravated motor vehicle theft, driving without a valid license, leaving the scene of an accident and failing to notify police, and reckless driving.
Pressing criminal charges against your 12-year-old child may seem harsh, but I think this woman is probably doing the only thing she could do under the circumstances. A non-family member certainly would have pressed charges and the boy could have seriously hurt or even killed someone. I feel bad for this mother, but applaud her for exercising some tough love on a clearly out of control child. What would you have done?
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
c_rousseau05 8-27-2008 @ 5:45PM
I applaude her too, and i'd have done the exact same thing.
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Kristie 8-27-2008 @ 6:16PM
I think it's great that the police actually arrested the kid. So many people blame the parents for what there kids do and when the parents try to do something about it, no one will help. I woke up in the middle of the night and found my keys, my car and my son gone. I reported it stolen and when I woke up in the morning found my son on the couch and the car in the driveway, when I asked him for the keys, he handed them to me. I called police to report the car was back, they asked me if I wanted him arrested, I said yes. When they came to the house, he was still in bed. The police said to me,"you actually want us to get him out of bed"? I was furious. They had to call their boss and was told that because no one actually saw him take the car or driving it, there was nothing they could do, and I shouldn't have left my keys laying around. For years after that, I went to bed with my keys on a chain around my neck.
So, yeay to this mom and to the police who actually did something about it. Maybe this will scare him enough that it keeps him from getting inot more trouble.
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nicolebarber 8-27-2008 @ 6:46PM
I would have done the same thing, a tough lesson is a lesson learned.
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toughcookie 8-27-2008 @ 7:09PM
YES !!! There are still good parents out there. All children will become adults but not all children will be grown ups. That is up to the parents. HOOORAH.
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Karen 8-27-2008 @ 8:18PM
I wonder if she had to press charges in order to collect insurance?
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Ty 8-28-2008 @ 3:21AM
Just as likely the police told her that either she presses charges or it was considered implied consent and they would jail her for reckless endangerment and half a dozen other charges.
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chaser 8-28-2008 @ 12:06PM
I think she did the right thing too! We don't know the whole story, maybe she is the only parent around and has seen other kids grow up doing bad things and this could scary him enough to keep him straight.
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Mike 8-28-2008 @ 4:58PM
Unfortunately, while it seems like the right thing to do this mother has likely doomed her child to having great difficulty going to college as a result of this appearing on his background checks, great difficulty ever getting credit, great difficulty getting a job and thus great difficulty becoming a member of society that can actually be productive. What alternatives do you think he will have left?
Juvenile detention and prison are very similar and teach at risk people how to become worse people. It's a shame that it is this way, but this is about as bad as can happen to someone who might have had any kind of a future. Chances are though, judging by the grammar alone from the "mother" in the comments of the article this kid doesn't have a whole lot going for him.
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drocelot 8-30-2008 @ 8:15PM
He's underage. Being arrested at 12 will in no way affect his getting into college, etc. But, if mom ignored his self indulgent ways...imagine how his criminality could grow.
Mom of a 12 Yr old Boy 8-30-2008 @ 8:45PM
She did not doom her child by pressing charges, her son doomed himself when he made the decision to take a vehicle, not licensed, under age and without any formal training. As parents we teach our children to choose between right and wrong and the consequences that comes along with the choices they make. It is up to that individual child to make their own choice. We can't be there at every moment and surely cannot take the fall for their decisions that effect the rest of their lives. I've been twelve and done my work to be where I am today. When you have given your child the tools to abide by rules and they choose otherwise they must deal with the outcome. Remember that at some point you were a child and you made decisions despite all the good things that your parent provided you, do you blame your mom, dad or legal guardian for trying to help and you didn't take the help???!!! I have a twelve year old son and honestly I say that right now if that were me I would have pressed charges because I know he knows better. Yet, If that day was staring me right in the face my heart would be broken, tears of hurt and fear that my child just ruined his own life. It would be the hardest choice I would have to make and I believe I would still say to press charges otherwise I've just made it ok for him to break rules and not be responsible for doing so.
Terri 8-30-2008 @ 9:04PM
As far as I know, and I may be wrong, but juvenile records are sealed once the child turns 18. And I'd like to know in which section of this story did you see any quotes from the mother? I saw none, so I don't see where we can judge whether or not she is educated or fit as a mother.
I for one, having teenage sons, feel that she has done EXACTLY what she should. In her position I would have done the same. I had the opportunity to teach my son a lesson not long ago, and I took it. As parents these days, much of the discipline we would choose has been taken away due to the misconduct and misuse of the word in the name of abuse, by a small portion of society. The rest of us have been put in the situation of walking a very thin line, looking over our shoulders to see if someone might be ready to accuse. What else is there for us when our kids get out of hand??
Mike 8-30-2008 @ 9:14PM
These types of things don't magically fall off a person's record. Universities run fairly thorough background checks as do lenders, neither of which will serve this child.
It's not an issue with tough love and applying strict discipline. The American criminal justice system is not the way to do it. It is not made to reform but to detain. These are very different things.
Linda 8-30-2008 @ 11:46PM
Since this kid is already stealing cars at the ripe old age of 12, I seriously doubt that he is, or ever will, be considering going to college. I also doubt that his behaviour started yesterday. I learned at an early age that there were always consequences for my actions, and while I certainly wasn't perfect, I was never out of control. Whatever his parent(s) are doing, it certainly isn't working.
PavioniD 8-30-2008 @ 8:25PM
Doesn't seem as though my comment went through, so I'll post again.
Mom didn't DOOM the kid to anything. He doomed himself the moment he took the van.
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henster531 8-30-2008 @ 8:36PM
what is wrong with you people? he's a kid. he's doing what kids do. you can't expect a kid to do the right thing every time and never do anything stupid. and yes, you have to make sure they turn out to be good adults, but you can't make them grow up right away! let kids be kids, let them make mistakes and suffer the consequences. but this lady went too far. punish the kid at home, ground him/her for a little while or something along those lines. they're kids and eventually they will grow up so accept that they are going to do stupid things and work with it.
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De 8-30-2008 @ 8:36PM
Horrible. Where's this kid's support system if he can't count on his mom to gently explain to him what was wrong and why and tell him everyone makes mistakes? Is she so perfect that she never made a mistake? He *didn't* hurt or kill any one-he's a boy who's sense of judgement isn't fully developed yet.
Why do people in this country expect CHILDREN to have the brain, the capacity for understanding and the judgement of adults?! That's why we have parents and a childhood, so that we can learn these things before we're adults-under the *guidance* of our parents.
I know my kids consider the *family* car OURS-not mom's, but she lets us ride in it. They have their own seats, their own cupholders, are able to get in when they want. I can certainly see where this 12 year old boy would be stunned to think that his mother considered him using something of hers as STEALING. If my husband borrows my car without asking, I don't call the cops and have him arrested!!
Utterly rediculous-I agree with the previous poster that this can only lead him to feel that he's a horrible person and continue down poor choice paths because his mother doesn't have the heart to accept his *mistake* and forgive him. Understanding someone's mistake does not mean that what you did was "fine" and you should do it again-it means you accept the person who made the mistake as being HUMAN.
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Parissa 8-30-2008 @ 8:57PM
De, any reasonable 12 year old knows better than to slip out at night ~ when he's SUPPOSED to be in bed at a friend's house ~ takes his mom's keys (premeditation!) and attempts to do something HE KNOWS HE CAN'T DO: DRIVE A CAR!!!!!!! And then, as if that isn't bad enough, he drives it into someone else's garage and flees the scene!? What in the hell would YOU do? Slap his little hands? Ground him for a month? Threaten him with no television ~ or force him to watch the Republican National Convention? I'm not sure I would have the guts to press charges against my own child, but I respect this mother for what she did and hope that decision does some good! He could have killed himself, his friend or someone else for God Sake! I'm sure his mother will visit him while he's in detention or where kids of 12 are kept ... and she'll sleep better knowing he's were he won't be smashing into someone else's garage anytime soon!
Maryanne 8-30-2008 @ 9:01PM
Don't you think he knew it was wrong to take his mom's van for a drive at only 12 years? He may not be an adult, but at 12 years old you do know right from wrong.
Sang 8-30-2008 @ 9:36PM
For Pete's sake, I didn't say he thought it was *right*!
There's such a thing as a "lesser of two evils", seeing things in something other than "black and white". For a 12 year old boy who's on the verge of puberty, likely has testosterone surging through his body, in the presence of an older teen (who was likely egging him on in the way guys do), there was a choice: look like a looser weakling dork in front of his older friend *or* prove he was "manly". Neither one is a stellar choice, but in that time and place, apparently to him, the borrowing of the van was the lesser of 2 evils.
I reiterate: he did *not* kill or hurt anyone, so it's pointless to dwell on that. Any one of us could accidentally hurt, maim or kill anyone in any moment of misjudgement in our lives. That point is moot.
Obviously he *could* drive-he drove it from his driveway to another house! He wasn't an experienced driver, or the best of drivers, but he did, technically drive.
If he had a good relationship with his mom, he could have gone to her and they could have worked out a way that he could be safe and still prove he could drive (go carts? tractors? who knows), but apparently, his mother would rather punish him and make him feel like a criminal than help him to grow up strong, wise and healthy.
Again, I ask why people feel like kids should have the judgment of an adult, who has gained that knowledge through experience and living life? They're just supposed to *know*, by magic?
Sang 8-30-2008 @ 9:39PM
Why does ParentDish do this?? For some reason, it posts my name as "Sang" on my second reply... The previous post about "black and white" was by DE.