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Filed under: Relatives, Holidays
When I was growing up, just about every kid I knew had two siblings. My best friend, the kids I went to school with, and the neighbor kids were all growing up with two other kids in their house. I don't know where this three-kid quota came from, but every parent seemed to be happy to fill it, my own included.
For many families of my parent's generation, having just one kid was an idea that just never occurred to them. An only child is a lonely child, right? Maybe sometimes, but having siblings doesn't guarantee life-long friendship and happy times. In fact, for many it seems that all siblings guarantee is a life-long nemesis. Someone to argue with at holiday gatherings and avoid at all other times.
I got along well enough with my own siblings and still do. But my best childhood friend loathed her youngest sister and today, the two don't even speak. The kids that grew up across the street from me all left home and now live thousands of miles from each other with no communication. And they are the lucky ones. Several other friends live within spitting distance of their siblings and are in a constant state of distress over their rocky relationships.
Having raised an only child, I do know that loneliness can sometimes be an issue. But she's an adult now and I can see no ill effects as a result of being raised alone. On the other hand, my sister and I enjoy a close relationship and I am thankful that someone exists who knows me - and where I come from - as well as she does. What about you? If you have siblings, how's that working out for you?
For many families of my parent's generation, having just one kid was an idea that just never occurred to them. An only child is a lonely child, right? Maybe sometimes, but having siblings doesn't guarantee life-long friendship and happy times. In fact, for many it seems that all siblings guarantee is a life-long nemesis. Someone to argue with at holiday gatherings and avoid at all other times.
I got along well enough with my own siblings and still do. But my best childhood friend loathed her youngest sister and today, the two don't even speak. The kids that grew up across the street from me all left home and now live thousands of miles from each other with no communication. And they are the lucky ones. Several other friends live within spitting distance of their siblings and are in a constant state of distress over their rocky relationships.
Having raised an only child, I do know that loneliness can sometimes be an issue. But she's an adult now and I can see no ill effects as a result of being raised alone. On the other hand, my sister and I enjoy a close relationship and I am thankful that someone exists who knows me - and where I come from - as well as she does. What about you? If you have siblings, how's that working out for you?
| My siblings are my best friends and I wish we could spend more time together | |
|---|---|
| We get along okay, but family gatherings are enough | |
| I tolerate them just to keep the peace | |
| I can't stand them - any shared DNA is well hidden |
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
8-27-2008 @ 10:00PM
Heather said...I voted the "we get along okay..", but I have to say that is a right now statement. When my sister (younger by 3 1/2 yrs)and I were growing up, all we did was fight with eachother. We litterally couldn't stand eachother. We started getting along better when she moved out to live with mom. (my parents split when I was a senior in HS.) I don't know if growing up with limited means and having to share a bedroom about the size of a walk-in closet had anything to do with it, or if it was the favoitism (that my mom SWEARS isn't there).
We did have a HUGE blowout about 4 years ago and didn't speak for about 1 1/2 years, so I guess sibling rivalry is still somewhat of an issue.
The fact that she is almost 24, living with mom, with her little boy, and refuses to grow up might be an issue though too. Must be nice to be a sponge.
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8-28-2008 @ 7:23AM
ninainindia said...My sister and I are only 16 months apart. I often hear people say they want their children close together in age so they can grow up as best friends. I always laugh at that, because age certainly is no garantee for that.
My sister and I are very different and untill my sister left the house we didn't have much to do with each other at all. We have never had big fights or anything, we are just not close. I see her every now and then and that's it.
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8-28-2008 @ 9:39AM
Sabrina said...I'm an only child. As an adult I'm just fine as far as "well-adjusted member of society" goes, but I know that in another 30 years my parents (I have 3 parents) are all going to start getting old and needing care that I can't provide on my own. I won't have anyone to help me, and the thought seems to be a bit much for me.
Being an only child taught me to be at peace with being alone (I'm still not the type who loved being alone, but I can always find something for myself to do), it taught me to think creatively, and to cherish closeness with another peron my age.
I now have a husband with two much younger siblings who all have bad relationships with each other, and I struggle to understand them. And I have 2 children, who I am raising the best way I can, and who seem to have good relationship with each other right now.
I know in the future I won't be able to relate to their feelings about their situation in family life. I almost feel as if I was missing out by not having had a sibling, but I know my mother always wanted more and couldn't have any. I know that once she became a single parent for 10 years it was easier on her, us, and our financial situation that there was only me, but I always feel that I missed out on some fundamental part of life.
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8-28-2008 @ 9:45AM
Baron said...Your relationship(s) with your sibling(s) has a lot to do with where you grow up and how you are raised. Age helps because it is harder to be close to someone if they are leaving the house just as you are growing up/or if you are in the same classes you could very well compete (but that shouldn't make you not be friends, though I have seen it get some people at each others throats. Those people do that to anyone they compete with though; I generally consider them idiots who do not know how to deal very well with their emotions). I am not sure where it says you have to be similar to be good friends, I wouldn't want to spend much time with someone that was too much like me, that is one of the reasons I appreciate my sister.
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8-28-2008 @ 11:10AM
Joy said...I agree that having a sibling doesn’t always guarantee a “close” relationship. That depends on many factors. I do have a brother that’s two years younger than I am and he’s my best friend. Did we fight, you bet we did but we made up. We played together and have traveled down life’s path together. Nobody knows me like he does and I love him dearly. He knows things without me ever telling him. I know many siblings who hate and don’t talk to one another and it always seems to be about “he got more than I did” or something equally ridiculous. It sometimes seems to me that they hold on to little petty things from childhood and don't grow up all the way where their siblings are concerned. Maybe it’s how you parent to two children. I’m not sure. Given that said, the reason I wanted more than one child is that I love my brother so much.
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