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Modeling bad behavior
Filed under: Toddlers Preschoolers, Preschoolers, Big Kids, Tweens, Teens
Kids learn by example, which is why most of us try to set a good one. We use our manners, clean up after ourselves, exhibit patience and always try to do the right thing - especially when little eyes are watching us. But sometimes, we get stressed out and tired and just can't be bothered doing the right thing. And by 'us', I mean 'me', of course.
I realized yesterday that I have been doing such a good job of modeling good behavior that when I slack off a bit, my seven-year-old notices big time. The slacking off happened in K-Mart, which was the last of many stops Ellie and I had to make on our way to the bank. I was worried about the bank closing before I could get there, so we sped through the store looking for folding chairs and a card table. We found what we needed and were headed for the checkout when I spotted something I'd missed on the way in: a card table and chair set, for a fraction of what I was about to pay for them separately.
I quickly took the individual pieces out of my cart and loaded the boxed set in. I hesitated. The department from which I had picked up the table and chairs was way in the back of the store. I was two feet from the checkout. Ordinarily, I would have schlepped the stuff back to where I got it, but this time I didn't feel like I had time. And this is no excuse, but the entire store was a jumbled mess anyway. Which is probably why I didn't notice the table and chairs set in the first place. I left the discarded purchases where they didn't belong, made my purchase, and left the store.
I heard about it all the way to the bank and all the way home. "I can't believe you just left that stuff there!" Ellie's shock at my total disregard for proper store etiquette made me think of all the times I do the right thing. I return my cart to the proper area in the parking lot. I allow other drivers to get in front of me when they ask. I pick up trash if I see some lying on the ground. I consider myself a pretty decent person, but I can't say for sure that I would always do these things if she wasn't watching me. Her presence in my life makes me much more aware of the things I do and therefore an all-around better person. How about you? Has being a parent made you a better person? Or were you always as wonderful as you are today?
I realized yesterday that I have been doing such a good job of modeling good behavior that when I slack off a bit, my seven-year-old notices big time. The slacking off happened in K-Mart, which was the last of many stops Ellie and I had to make on our way to the bank. I was worried about the bank closing before I could get there, so we sped through the store looking for folding chairs and a card table. We found what we needed and were headed for the checkout when I spotted something I'd missed on the way in: a card table and chair set, for a fraction of what I was about to pay for them separately.
I quickly took the individual pieces out of my cart and loaded the boxed set in. I hesitated. The department from which I had picked up the table and chairs was way in the back of the store. I was two feet from the checkout. Ordinarily, I would have schlepped the stuff back to where I got it, but this time I didn't feel like I had time. And this is no excuse, but the entire store was a jumbled mess anyway. Which is probably why I didn't notice the table and chairs set in the first place. I left the discarded purchases where they didn't belong, made my purchase, and left the store.
I heard about it all the way to the bank and all the way home. "I can't believe you just left that stuff there!" Ellie's shock at my total disregard for proper store etiquette made me think of all the times I do the right thing. I return my cart to the proper area in the parking lot. I allow other drivers to get in front of me when they ask. I pick up trash if I see some lying on the ground. I consider myself a pretty decent person, but I can't say for sure that I would always do these things if she wasn't watching me. Her presence in my life makes me much more aware of the things I do and therefore an all-around better person. How about you? Has being a parent made you a better person? Or were you always as wonderful as you are today?
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
8-28-2008 @ 9:25PM
Joy said...Sandy, this reminds me of something that to this day I feel bad about. Years ago when my youngest son was still an infant and my oldest almost 4, my sister in law and I had gone to a July 4th parade in our small cabin town. We had to park a good mile out of town and walk. Both of us carrying a small one and me holding Jason’s hand. I NEVER litter but I had a cup and it was getting really hard carrying one and trying to hold the others hand and I had a paper cup. I was himming and hawing about it so my sister in law told me to just put it down. I told her I couldn’t possible litter. Well, I set the cup down very nicely feeling crappy about it and a car drove by and someone yelled LITTERBUG out the window. I was just mortified and then Jason called me a litterbug all day long.
I feel we do teach our kids and you have taught Ellie well and that’s why it bothered her. I haven’t littered since.
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8-29-2008 @ 12:18AM
ninainindia said...It's impossible for me to litter, I just cannot do it. A few years ago I was in India visiting a monument. I had some trash and asked the guard if there was a trashcan. He held out his hand and I gave him the trash. He threw the trash over his shoulder onto the grass..... I was shocked and protested but he looked at me as if I was crazy.
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