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Who really reads/needs parenting books?
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Do you read parenting books? For real, as in from cover to cover? Did you get anything at all out of the book? Was it overall a great buy with an excellent philosophy, or was there at least one nugget of sage advice that has helped you shape your parenting style? If the answer to that last question was yes, then perhaps parenting books are good for you. For others, not so much.
I remember when I first started writing for ParentDish--way back in the Blogging Baby days. I was pregnant and trying to figure out if I had what it took to be a parent. I bought oodles of parenting books and tried to plow through them as best as I could. I found lots of conflicting information, some of it outdated. I had lots of conversations with other parents and got more of the same. I even asked them what parenting books they recommended. Some loved certain books, some hated said books. One such book was "What to Expect when You're Expecting." I wrote a post about that and got innumerable comments of both praise and abhorring. So it is with any sort of parenting advice.
Once you become a parent, generally all the things you were so scared of dissipate. You become more confident in your decision making and parenting abilities. Most of the time, you actually become a better wife, daughter, friend, sister, etc. in the process. Did the parenting books help? Maybe, maybe not. Being a parent did. The things we all fear--that we'll be bad parents, that we'll hurt our children, that they'll be taken from us through our own negligence--seem to go away the more we actually practice parenting. And that means whatever parenting style comes most naturally to us or works out best for us. And it is different for every person. I don't think it really matters how much attention you paid to WTEWYE--you're probably doing OK in the mommy or daddy department. Parenting books, if you actually have time to read them (see: before children) might offer some insight, but only you will be able to determine the right approach to raising your kids.












ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
8-28-2008 @ 12:22PM
Anne said...I never read a single parenting book when pregnant. I was just under the mindset that every child is different, so they wouldn't be writing about my child, just some generic child. And I stuck with that belief until my daughter was 2.5 and dealing with potty training issues. I took out a few books and just reconfirmed that belief--I got some tips and tricks to try, but no child/situation I read about was identical to ours. Now if I'm looking for a different perspective, I'll pick up a parenting book, but I don't use any particular one as a "Bible."
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8-28-2008 @ 1:20PM
Susan said...I think parenting books can be great resources and I have a bunch that are written by authors I've come to respect through my work as a psychologist (Robert Brooks, Daniel Siegel, Sears), but the funny thing is that I've never managed to read any of them! I think that I've come to trust my instincts as a parent and I'm afraid that the books will make me question myself or make me anxious. I hope, though, to eventually get around to reading some of them. I'm so busy now, however, that it probably won't be until my youngest daughter has children of her own!
I did use What to Expect the First Year to check out developmental milestones and to answer very specific questions I had.
Susan's last blogpost: The Power Struggle Trap at http://www.theparentsplace.blogspot.com/
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8-28-2008 @ 4:12PM
mamaloo said...I read and recommend to clients: The Baby Book by Dr Sears, Wonder Weeks and Positive Discipline.
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8-29-2008 @ 9:38AM
Mindy said...I find parenting books fascinating, and I read them long before I was serious about having children. Now that I have a kid, I'm not sure how useful they are, but I still enjoy reading them when I have the time. I review parenting books professionally and also on my blog from time to time.
These days, though, I mostly read children's books :)
http://www.propernoun.net
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