Carpool chic - What are you wearing to drop the kids at school?

by Susan Wagner (Subscribe to Susan Wagner's posts) Sep 8th 2008 1:00PM

A friend of mine was joking recently about the Carpool Uniform at her children's school: yoga pants, sunglasses, and lipgloss. "Everyone's doing it," she said. "We all like to pretend that we're going to work out after we drop the kids off, but really we're just too lazy to get dressed."

We're all familiar with that -- it's often all a mom can do to get the kids dressed for school; if you don't have to show up at an office precisely at 8:15 am, what's the point of getting all dressed up just for car pool? But there's more to what you wear to school than just convenience and comfort; according to Lesley Thomas, fashion blogger at the Telegraph, Carpool Chic is an elusive look. "Look glam and you alienate other mums, wear pyjamas and you mortify your kids." So what's the middle ground?

Thomas reminisces about moms who used to announce that "'School's not a fashion parade!" And while they were talking to their kids, she recently realized that "the same adage now applies to today's school-run mums. Not the glitzy Yummy Mummies for whom life's a catwalk, but the ones who seem to believe that motherhood equals sacrifice, fashion equals selfishness, and a mother who dresses well is a bad one."

So what's the middle ground? Thomas points moms to sensible flat shoes and classic wardrobing pieces that look crisp and chic without being too over-the-top. Everything she suggests is wearable and affordable.

What are you wearing to take the kids to school? Do you ever wish you could spiff up your look just a little more, or are you good with your yoga pants and ball cap?

Comments (22)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)

Stacie 9-08-2008 @ 2:15PM

Unfortunately, I wind up dropping the kiddies off in tacky stretch pants, worn baggie shirts, and no bra (seriously, I'm going back home to clean house - what's the point in wearing a bra?). Ultimately, I get in line with the other cars and see the moms with make up, cute hair-do's, and, of course - bras, and I'm flipping down the visor to check that my hair is flying around, or that I don't look completely like I just rolled out of the bed. And, I generally wind up adjusting the seatbelt and stuffing my purse in between my left boob and the windshield. Then, every morning I chastise myself for not just getting up a little bit earlier and throwing on a darn bra! Oh well, I have a couple years before I start embarassing my kids.

deanna 9-08-2008 @ 3:53PM

lol...ditto. :)

Mary 9-08-2008 @ 5:50PM

Here we just send to kids to the end of the driveway to get on the bus. What a waste of gas and time to drive your kids to school everyday (though I know it's unavoidable for some, it's also incredibly unnecessary and over parenting for others).

Anita 9-08-2008 @ 9:50PM

I wish I could send my kids off to school in a bus. But we live just short of a mile so we don't get a bus service and my kids are too little to walk by themselves. I do walk them to school if the weather is nice and then I actually put my hair in a pony tail but if I'm dropping them off in the car, I wear sweats and let my hair fall as it may.

Jerri Ann 9-09-2008 @ 10:49AM

I don't call it over-parenting at all. I rode a school bus for 10 years and I hated every last bit of it. And, if you have a young child who isn't responsible enough to ride the bus or worse, one that constantly gets in trouble on the bus, being able to take them to school yourself is ideal.

As a matter of fact, I would say 80% of the kids at my child's school get to school via car than bus and probably 70% are picked up via car not bus. To me, it isn't about over parenting, it is about allowing my child the opportunity to avoid that doggone over-crowded stinky hot bus

SKL 9-08-2008 @ 6:40PM

Those women who look all put-together have something else to do and are NOT thinking about how the women in the other cars look, I'm pretty sure.

I could care less what people think of my looks. As long as I've had a shower in the past 24 hours and maybe run a comb through my hair before putting it in a pony tail, I look good enough. Prior to my shower, I wear yesterday's t-shirt which I slept in, and pull on either shorts or jeans, depending on how long it's been since I shaved my legs. I almost never wear a bra, including to work. I would feel really sorry for anyone who could care, if such a person existed.

The thought that someone might actually purchase clothes for the school dropoff line is pretty sad.

Jerri Ann 9-09-2008 @ 10:49AM

I actually bought a pair of knit stretch pants for drop off only because I didn't own one pair...not one pair. And, I'm over-weight but I still wear my shorts this time of year. I bought the pants with a coordinating short sleeve shirt so I could wear it now and got it on sale. Honestly, the thought of putting on dress pants or jeans in the morning for school drop off hurt me bad, so I bought this 9 pair of knit pants that I can throw on anytime, plus I can clean them up with the shirt that came with them.....but a bra..totally pointless for school drop off, lol.

isisaquaria 9-08-2008 @ 7:25PM

I could put my kids on a bus, but I do not. I guess I could be lazy and make them ride it--but they do not want to, and I chose to have them---so I take them and I do not wish to embarrass them or myself, so I am put together

Anita 9-08-2008 @ 10:01PM

It's not lazy to put children on the bus, it's better for the enviroment, fuel economy, and encourages them to be independent. Our drop off and pick up situation is always such a mad-house I wish every day that I could put my kids on a bus.

ninainindia 9-09-2008 @ 12:23AM

I don't think there is anything lazy about using the bus.

I do agree with you about looking put together when dropping them off. Maybe it's just different in the US but where I'm from people don't wear sweatpants out of the house. I was actually shocked the first time I saw someone wearing them outside where I live now!

I also don't see putting on some normal clothes and looking ok as dressing up. It takes maybe 5 minutes.

isisaquaria 9-09-2008 @ 9:20AM

Actually, since we drive hydrids--the earth is in better shape w/o our buses. And it is lazy to put my kids on a bus--I own my own business, so I have the time. Plus -having the bus go out of the way to get to our home for the kids to get on would be a waste of gas for the school---which with the rising cost of everything due to gas---it would raise everyone's tutition at our school. It is rather selfish for me to expect everyone to pay for my responsibilities.

HappytobeHome 9-09-2008 @ 7:51AM

It is lazy to make your kids ride the bus if you are a stay-at-home-mom. Why in the world be a stay at home mother if you are not willing to do MOM ACTIVITIES? I enjoy the extra time with my kids, hearing about their hopes for the day and then hearing the results on the ride home from school. And when it comes to "promoting independence", aren't our children being pushed to grow up at a younger age every year? I don't think my children will be suffering from a lack of knowing who they are as an independent person because I drive them to school.

As for what I wear for car-pool, I wear an outfit that is easy to throw on in the morning but still acceptable for public, in case, a situation arises where I have to leave the car. My outfit ALWAYS includes a bra! What is with these women who think going sans bra is perfectly acceptable?

SKL 9-09-2008 @ 8:15AM

What do you care if I wear a bra or not? Don't you have better things to think about? Maybe you need to find a good book to read.

Sabrina 9-09-2008 @ 9:14AM

When I had to drop my daughter off at preschool last year I attempted to look put together. I wore jeans or a skirt (not a dressy one, I'm just a fan of a nice flowy comfortable skirt), and a t-shirt, sweater, or other top depending on the weather. I *did* take time to straighten my unruly hair, even if it was going in a ponytail, but school didn't start until 1230 in the afternoon, so I had plenty of time to do that. I never put on makeup or heels unless I had somewhere else to be afterwards.

This year she's still in preschool, but there's an option to ride the elementary school bus. She said she wanted to ride it, and so she does. Today's the second day. Yesterday I wore the tank I had been sleeping in and yesterday's skirt (the bus is at 8am, and I have not showered by that point yet since I am helping her get ready and focusing on her), and today I wore my PJ pants and a coat (too cold for just my t-shirt). I threw my hair in a pony tail both mornings, but I did brush it first. I don't figure the people driving past my house care one bit if I am dressed and ready or not. I will not, however, go out in my bathrobe, which I have seen other people do.

I do NOT feel it is lazy for a SAHM mom to put her kids on the bus. Especially if they want to ride it. I'm pro-public transportation, and it is good for her to meet other kids on the bus who are living around us who she wouldn't otherwise have the opportunity to meet since we live on a big highway and the kids don't go around playing in the neighborhood. I have another younger child at home, and my daughter riding the bus means he can sleep for an extra 2, sometimes 3, hours because I don't have to wake them both up even earlier in order to get two small ones dressed and fed and ready to go.

ame s 9-09-2008 @ 9:42AM

I used to just toss on whatever when I dropped my girls off at school. My younger daughter went through a seperation anxiety period half way through Kindergarten. One episode of walking her to the door while wearing my Lucky Charms lounge pants broke me of tossing on whatever ;)
I now dress, do my hair and make up before I wake the kids. I look better, feel better, and am able to run errands right after I drop them off.
My older daughter attends a private school this year that only sends buses to pick up kids living outside our county, for a hefty monthly fee,of course.
I live less than a mile from my younger daughter's school, but we don't have sidewalks. With the way people drive around here, I wouldn't consider walking her to school. I've accompanied my daughters on field trips on school buses too many times to feel comfortable putting either on a bus without me being there. Some of our bus drivers seem to have a contest with themselves, seeing how quickly they can get that big yellow chunk of metal from 0-60 and how sharply they can take a turn. I've almost been thrown out of my seat a time or two.
I love dropping my girls off and picking them up. Their schools are only a couple of miles apart. I do spend almost an hour in the afternoons waiting in pick up lines, but I enjoy it. I read and listen to talk radio.
My mother took my brother and me to school until I had my license.

Jerri Ann 9-09-2008 @ 11:01AM

Lazy? How did that get worked into it? I hated the school bus and I'm only doing for my child what wasn't available to me. And, once you see your kid come out of the building or get off that bus with a backpack that weighs more than he/she does and struggling to get where he/she needs to get to, you too will wish you were driving or carpooling with someone.

Secondly, drop off and pick up at my son's school wouldn't be too bad except folks don't follow the freakin directions they were given the first day of school. There is a really simplistic strategy to it but people ignore it. On the mornings when I seem to be the only person pulling forward like I am suppose to, I roll the window down and kid with the teacher who is responsible for standing there waving her arm for folks to pull down. Today my comment was simply "brain surgery eh?" She laughs and says, "everyday".

People, adults, don't follow the rules, and you want to put your kid on a bus with a bunch of other kids....if the adults can't follow the rules, what makes you think other kids can follow the rules on the bus. If I had a dollar for every time I was bullied (read: tripped getting on or off the bus with an arm load of books) on the school bus and usually by the bus driver's daughter, I could send my kid to a high tech private school and never look back. Hell, if I had a dollar every time that happened, I could take him via helicopter.

Until my kid insist that riding the bus is cool, we will do the drop off thing unless something else happens. I actually get dressed depending on what I have to do afterward. Some days I get dressed and nicely because I'm going to stay at school and work in his room. Other days I just get casually dressed to run errands and the days I'm turning around and coming right back home, I barely get out of my pj's.

As for the person who doesn't understand women not wearing a bra? I didn't even need a bra until I was 22 or so. I played collegiate sports and only wore a sports bra because of the way the jersey's fit. Bra's are to cover our breasts which depending on where you are, who you are and what you are doing can be left completely uncovered. Not wearing a bra does not make someone sloppy or whatever.

I wrote a post about this a few weeks ago when the topic was breast feeding in public. I didn't breast feed my babies but I just don't understand the whole "cover the breasts up" attitude one minute and the next you see people standing on nude beaches without a top at all or in magazines without any covering. And, if you look back in ancient times, women were rarely covered by anything and some cultures still don't cover the breast of women. So, what's up with that.

HappytobeHome x2 9-10-2008 @ 12:11PM

IF all school buses were equipped with the seatbelts that are "mandatory" in family vehicles (in the states I have lived in), I would have considered having my children ride the bus. For me it began as a serious safety issue.

However, I, too, have enjoyed the drives to/from school with my children for the past 10 years. We have had some quite informative conversations on those rides, much better than some of the conversations held, or overheard, on the bus! I would never consider it to be over parenting. It has definitely been "quality time" for the 3 of us.

I also have enjoyed meeting and getting to know some of their friends who have caught rides with us over the years.

As far as dress-code...I can't say I have ever have shopped for "drive to school clothes". I have, however, followed my own mother's rule..."wear clean underwear, you never know what might happen"...to guide me. There have been times when I have unexpectedly had to exit the car, (ever had a child leave their lunch in the car?), and have always been glad that I was at least dressed so as to not embarass my children or MYSELF! Who doesn't brush their hair before they walk out the door???? (I suggest keeping one in the car if the mornings are that "harried"!)

By getting ourselves ready in the morning, whether it is to walk to the bus stop or drive them to school, we are teaching our children "by example", thus preparing them for their independence.

mandy 9-09-2008 @ 1:14PM

I loved riding the bus! I met so many friends on the bus, and worked my way towards the much coveted back of the bus over the years. I met people in different classes and grades. Now, I did ride the bus with my older brother up until he graduated, so my mom knew I wasn't completely on my own. Bad things do happen, and kids do misbehave. But I would have died if my mom wanted to drop us off or pick us up! As for my own attire (for going anywhere near my kids in public) I always put on clean clothes (jeans, shorts, yoga pants, tanks, tees, & yes bra) and clean underwear. My mom also told me what if I were in an accident and someone had to see my undies! No makeup, but I do brush my teeth and wear sunglasses. And brush my hair or ponytail it. And if I have to pick them up for a dentist or doctor's appointment or parent teacher meeting, I wear makeup and more presentable clothes. My mom always did for me and I remember being proud of how pretty my mom was. If she came on my school field trips, she let me help her pick out her outfit, so I have continued the tradition.

Holly 9-09-2008 @ 2:51PM

OMC this is crazy!! My 1st grader rides the bus both ways to his Deep South urban public elementary school but I would NEVER consider myself lazy for not wanting to put another car on the road, not to mention not wanting to strap my younger child into her carseat twice a day for what I would consider to be unnecessary and environmentally insensitive car trips. (Of course, if my son were having a bad experience on the bus, I would reconsider. But before just yanking him off the bus, I would work with the Transportation Committee and the school administration to attempt to get the problem resolved.)

Perhaps we should steer the comments toward school bus stop attire. :-) Here, Dad does the bus stop in the AM, and I take the afternoons. Given that I am standing on a very busy corner of my urban neighborhood every weekday afternoon for 15-20 minutes while the less environmentally conscious moms drive by in their gas guzzlers (ha!), I definitely try to look somewhat put together.

mayala2372 9-09-2008 @ 4:12PM

I used to think it was fine to not wear a bra, too. I'd just wake up, throw on some shorts or PJ bottoms to wear with the shirt I'd slept in. One day, however, my car didn't start back up. So I had to walk back home sans bra with my arms crossed over my chest. Never again!

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