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Being a twin always seemed really great to me. In a romantic notion, I pictured having a twin meant being able to share pretty much everything together. So it would seem to most people. For Lexus and Amber Conway, however, twins born one on each side of midnight, August 31st, they will be sharing everything except the same grade in school.
Timing is everything, as they say, and because the cute little gals were technically born two different days--albeit only 45 minutes apart--they will be in two different school years. Lexus will get to go to school when she is four, but sis Amber will have to wait until the ripe old age of five to hit the books. Their parents, of course, are dead set against this reasoning and plan on spending the next four years, if it takes that, to find a way for their daughters to attend school together.
If that doesn't happen, proud papa Ian Caldwell plans on homeschooling the tots or moving to Spain. (Hey--that's my answer for everything: When it doesn't go your way, move to Spain. Seriously, it's worth a thought--Spain is FABULOUS. ) Also on the twins' side is Keith Reed, who serves as chief executive at The Twins and Multiple Births Association, who agrees that this is a truly singular, unique situation where the rules ought to be bent.
Thoughts? Is it better for twins (or any multiples) to always be together, in class, especially? Or is there a silver lining in this case being missed by the parents who could spare their daughters some pressure, constant comparison and competition?
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ReaderComments (Page 2 of 2)
9-11-2008 @ 9:46AM
Baron said...Last time I checked, you could teach people to do things on their own w/o going to school to learn. I know my mom worked with me on things so that I was able to read before I ever entered the school system. Actually, I think the person in the story even made a mention of homeschooling (though I am not really suggesting that, just saying that it is perfectly acceptable to teach kids things outside of school). As far as the money issue, if they are seriously considering moving to Spain, the person either has enough money that they can uproot their family and take off to Spain without much concern or a good enough job (maybe their own business?) that will allow them to move out of the country (though I suppose they could have family there as well).
Either way, it's not a question of them being bored (as I saw you were in one of your earlier posts) as they will be bored (if they are smart enough) in school if they are the youngest or the oldest in their class as it is not a matter of the students being able to "keep up with you", but the teachers and their curriculum offering you the right amount of challenge. Your starting age is more about your level of emotional and, in some cases, physical, maturity. I have known more than a few people who are extremely smart that started very young, some even skipped grades, and now they do very well at work, not only because they are "smarter" than other people, but because they didn't develop all the social skills in high school and college to properly interact with their coworkers (thus, they are always at their desk, never stopping in their work).
9-10-2008 @ 7:52PM
lynze said...Just keep the youngest one home the first year and when she is also five send them together. In my State and I hope it is like this in every State-if you feel your child is not ready and is close to the cut off date you can wait a year. I think if they go separate years the one that has to wait a year will always feel cheated.....
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9-10-2008 @ 9:35PM
Julia Mejia said...How stupid of the parents for not seeing the most obvious answer. The girls are barely 5 and they would NOT be late starting school if they waited until 6! My daughter turned 5 the day school started and it was too late, she had to wait until 6. Sure I wasn't happy, but she is so well adjusted and emotionally ready for kindergarten. It didn't hurt her at all. these parents are just being pushy and disgusting and it makes me sick. Ya the school system could relax but the parents should get a clue...How can they split their twins by a grade for no good reason. I also have twins and would not do that unless one actually failed.
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9-10-2008 @ 11:05PM
Carrie said...... why mine are homeschooled... more asinine rules from people who cannot make rational decisions...
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9-11-2008 @ 10:53AM
isisaquaria said...To the notion of holding back a child--Have you ever felt bad because someone you age is way ahead of you? Now imagine that being your own twin...I think the school will consider this as an exception to the rule.
This is an opinion which is not a personal experience---just a question to consider based on how I think I would feel.
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9-11-2008 @ 2:59PM
Emily said...Growing up with an identical twin was often difficult, from my first hand experience. My twin sister was always the one who hit the books in school and received straight A's. I was a pretty good student but didn't receive as high grades as my sister's. We were always separated in our grade school classes which is something that we enjoyed. We enjoyed having our separate friends at school and then coming home and being able to do homework together and talk and play together. However, when we got to high school, because we were both in track one classes, we had the experience of sharing classes. My sister and I found this very frustrating. A teacher would pull us into his/her office and say that we were cheating or that we had twin telepathy or remark on the fact that I wasn't doing as well as my sister even if I received a B and she got an A on a paper. I know if I was in this predicament, I wouldn't enjoy the fact that they would be a year apart but I would insist on them being in different classes. Twin to twin competition is present in every day life so I would want them to excel at their own pace.
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9-12-2008 @ 2:56AM
Becca said...These little girls are only a week or two old. Given that the school the will go to, if they still live where they do now in 5 years, already know about this situation, I'm confident that there will be an appropriate solution worked out for these unusual circumstances.
As for keeping one back, most kids are not advanced enough that it would matter in Kindergarten. However, if one or both of these children are advanced I would hope that the school would be open to allowing them to start school earlier than their schedule normally permits. There are usually tests you can ask for, that can determine their readiness for school, if you believe that they should be starting earlier than the cut off dates.
If they were my children, I don't think I'd be worried about it this early in their lives. In a couple of years, maybe when they start pre-school, I'd start making inquiries and finding out what we would need to do to make sure they start school together. And then it would all depend on the kids and their needs.
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9-12-2008 @ 11:26PM
Heza Hekele said...I like how we do things here in Canada. Everything is done by birth year. School, soccer, swimming and dance classes...registration is determined by birth year and no random date along the way. All kids born in 2003 started Kindergarten this month. End of story.
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9-18-2008 @ 11:52PM
Kam Wilson said...I vote for homeschooling :) Well, I know it's not for everyone, but I personally think it's an incredible option--one I loved when I was a kid! My girls love it too...there's so much flexibility and so many more interesting things to do rather than just stand in line :)
Kam over at http://www.raisinglakota.com
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