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Big families are better
Filed under: Your Pregnancy, Extreme Childhood
I grew up in a larger-than-average family, by today's standards, and I have to say I've always felt that big families were better for the kids than smaller ones, even as I worry about the effects of over-population. Cassandra Jardine, a British mother of five, with the help of Sky News presenter Colin Brazier, makes the argument that not only are big broods better for the kids, they're better for the planet as well.
When Brazier heard that it costs £180,000 to raise a child, he knew that that didn't hold true for every child. I know we've bought less (well, slightly less) clothing for each of our three kids. The same is true of toys, books, and other gear. Brazier goes on to claim that, on a per capita basis, large families are actually better for the environment than small families or individuals. Certainly, it's easy to see that cooking a meal for six or seven does not use anywhere near as many resources as cooking individual meals for the same number of people.
Jardine and Brazier offer quite a few additional reasons why children from large families are better off, including:
Of course, there are downsides too:
While my experiences don't support all of Brazier's claims, I still believe that growing up in a large batch of kids is preferable and better in the long run. Rather than have a huge family of my own, however, I am glad to be part of a group of like-minded parents so that my kids get to feel like they have a dozen siblings without having to sacrifice too much.
When Brazier heard that it costs £180,000 to raise a child, he knew that that didn't hold true for every child. I know we've bought less (well, slightly less) clothing for each of our three kids. The same is true of toys, books, and other gear. Brazier goes on to claim that, on a per capita basis, large families are actually better for the environment than small families or individuals. Certainly, it's easy to see that cooking a meal for six or seven does not use anywhere near as many resources as cooking individual meals for the same number of people.
Jardine and Brazier offer quite a few additional reasons why children from large families are better off, including:
- They are better and making and keeping friends because they have to learn to share and get along at home
- They learn to be part of a team and to resolve disputes
- They are more likely to learn to cook, wash their laundry, and do other household chores
- Because playtime is less closely supervised, they take more risks
- Saving money is something they that becomes second nature to them.
Of course, there are downsides too:
- While the cost of feeding five kids is not five times as much as one, it is still significantly more
- My family made do with a two bedroom house, but generally more kids means more house
- Eating out, going to Disneyland, and almost anything else becomes prohibitively expensive
- Not only do larger families need larger, more expensive vehicles, they spend more on gas too
- Swim lessons for one kid aren't cheap; multiply that by five and you start thinking about selling a kidney
While my experiences don't support all of Brazier's claims, I still believe that growing up in a large batch of kids is preferable and better in the long run. Rather than have a huge family of my own, however, I am glad to be part of a group of like-minded parents so that my kids get to feel like they have a dozen siblings without having to sacrifice too much.
| One -- I don't want to have to divide my attention | |
|---|---|
| Two -- So they have someone to play with without getting lost in a crowd | |
| Three or four -- Enough to be a group of friends without being overwhelming | |
| Five or Six -- A big family is best (but let's keep it reasonable) | |
| Seven or more -- You can never have too many kids and I've got plenty of love to go around | |
| Sixteen plus -- My name is Duggar... |
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ReaderComments (Page 2 of 2)
9-11-2008 @ 9:46PM
Jamie said...That is great that you have been so resourceful. Just remember that kids become adults and this will mean that many more homes and resources being consumed. Also, if your children decide to all have big families as well, you can do the math. I agree that there is no real number on how many children one person should have, but the impact on the environment is undeniable. Most people don't want to witness this, believe me I understand. I want to stick my head in the sand too. Alas, I cannot. Instead I try and do my part and hope that my echo footprint won't be too damaging.
9-11-2008 @ 11:16PM
SKL said...Ha! Some of you make it sound like you planned your family size based on your optimal ecological footprint. Nonsense. You did whatever felt right - which is as it should be - and now you're trying to fit it into some kind of rationale.
I'm so sure, "honey, let's have another baby" - "no sweetie, what about the exhaust from the car he'll drive 20 years from now?"
For your info, those six kids were my parents' and we've all grown up and live very simple lives. The total number of children we've conceived is 2. We've also adopted an additional 5 (so far) and given temporary care to still others. Some of us conserve resources by working at home; some of us live in the country where we don't have to buy most utilities and we grow some of our own food. We also conserve resources by helping each other, and our parents, instead of duplicating everything. We enjoy an evening together listening to the crickets or reading or watching an old movie; we don't need to go somewhere and spend money to have fun. We have not been brought up to think we are entitled to the best of everything; hence we don't desire to consume many of the things our neighbors do. And you know what else? We all pay a lot of taxes - and do a lot of charity work.
I strongly feel that theory of big families overrunning the earth is bunk. People have been saying this for decades, and I have yet to see any proof of it.
9-12-2008 @ 12:44PM
Steph said...I have to agree that a lot of people on the internet claim to have limited their family size out of concern for the environment, and most likely it wasn't a difficult sacrifice to make. It's not difficult to give up what you never really wanted in the first place. And if large families are as terrible as many detractors claim, than why would every kid in a large family go on to have their own large family as well? Blaming large families is an easy way to relinquish responsibility. (I did my part, I only had 1 child, so it's ok to have my consumerist lifestyle). Most women, when given control over their fertility, will have small families. Why harass the minority who feel compelled to raise more children? The real solution is probably to fund education for women in countires where birth control isn't available and make it available to them. ( In the US, for example, we hover around replacement rate). And to teach environmentalism to families of ALL sizes. The world has enough resources, we need to change the way we use them.
I think the real point here isn't that large families are "better." Happy families come in all sizes. IThe point is that they facilitate a lot of positive results, and aren't just a drain on parental and financial resources.
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9-15-2008 @ 4:54PM
jess said...I have four kids ages five and under and one on the way. I think the key to helping the environment is teaching your children from the start to be environmentally responsible, THAT makes a bigger impact than anything. I dont care if you have 1 or 10 kids, its how you teach them to live that matters by making environmental matters a priority ...but I dont believe that big families are as harmful to the environment as people like to make them out to be. Blaming big families is a cop out. If people want to blame someone then blame all, not just big families because the whole entire human race is responsible. Blame our parents for not worrying about it and leaving it to our generations to figure it out. I teach my kids to respect the environment,they recycle, I cloth diaper, and we do our part. My kids can tell you more about recycling and being green than most adults. I'm raising the next generation of environmentally responsible people and we're a "big" family. I can guarentee you that many people even people without kids could care less and thats the problem, not the big families.
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9-20-2008 @ 10:59AM
Marie said...I grew up being the older sibling, but only for one other child 10 yrs younger, and I did love it because I still lived the life of a teen and was not overburdened. It was also only one child, and my mom had stopped working when she had him. Because of this, I really wanted my kids to grow up together. (I have 2 who are 20 mos. apart). By the time I was coming up for air, I felt that the 3rd would have been several yrs younger and kept out of the "loop". At this point, my kids are teens, and I really believe that people should have the kids they want and can afford in the lifestyle they choose. How can anyone judge others for their choices?
I can understand why you'd want to keep the # down if you intend to pay for college as my husband & I do. He's affected by the fact that he had to finance his undergrad & graduate degree and wants his kids to have a better head start in an economically uncertain world. But that's just us.
We have friends with 5 kids, and that does look like alot of fun!!! I know I wouldn't have had the patience for that, and I don't think that's fair to the children. I certainly don't think of them as utilizing more of the earth's resources. Did someone actually say that?! Those kids will be 5 more productive people on this planet evidenced by the very solid upbringing they're getting from loving parents.
It all depends on the parents' age as well. Maybe if I had started out a bit younger, I would've gone for the 3rd--more time to save up for college, but I wouldn't trade my kid-free 20s for anything. We do go on nice vacations because we can afford it. I didn't stop at 2 kids to do that, though.
We're all a product of our past experiences and current circumstances. You can justify any viewpoint.
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10-05-2008 @ 2:19PM
momof5 said...How disturbing that some people (Jamie) on this blog think they have the right to judge how many children others should be ALLOWED to have! What would you have everyone do?...forced abortions, forced birth control, forced sterilizations? Where are you from communist China?
I am always interested to know if a person with this opinion calls themselves "pro-choice" because obviously they are not. FYI... I will have as many kids as I wish and as my circumstances will allow.
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10-05-2008 @ 3:34PM
momof5 said...So sorry Jamie, it was Pattye that stated "It should be limited to two kids and NO MORE".
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