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"Empowered" woman auctions virginity
Filed under: Just For Moms, In The News, Weird But True
A 22 year-old San Diego woman is auctioning off her virginity to pay for college expenses. Her intention was to use e-Bay, but the site would not permit the sale. Instead, the co-ed, who goes by the pseudonym Natalie Dylan (for safety reasons), will now move the auction to a brothel in Nevada where her sister works, purportedly to pay off her own college debt.
Natalie majored in Women's Studies and wants to earn a Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy (good luck with that one after this). The future therapist hopes to raise one million dollars to offset her educational expenses.
Not surprisingly, Natalie's mom, a fourth grade teacher, disapproves of her daughter's decision. Natalie, however, insists that, "We live in a capitalistic society. Why shouldn't I be allowed to capitalize on my virginity?"
Clearly, this is a family in crisis. Nonetheless, what I find interesting about the story is Natalie's self-assured attitude and the fact that she claims that this is "empowering."
Lately, when used by young women, the word "empowering" has taken on a decidedly sexual connotation. Things women and girls once found degrading like promiscuity, dressing slutty, pole dancing, and watching porn are now "empowering" activities.
So what happened? When did the definition of empowering morph from independence and achievement to the right to unabashedly participate in the worst habits of the other gender?
Natalie Dylan's decision to auction off her virginity is an exaggerated example of the twisted definition of "empowerment" that is now part of our culture. Youth culture has become so sexualized that purity has become counter-cultural and now pop stars like the Jonas Brothers sport "promise rings" without irony.
Politically, women have had the most empowering year in our nation's history. Now it is up to individual mothers to bring the word "empowerment" back to its healthier and more positive definition.
Maybe it's saying 'no' to that sexy witch costume on Halloween next month. Maybe it's a mother-daughter trip instead of those tickets to Britney Spears' concert. Maybe you'll take her to a museum, a play, a sporting event or a political rally. Perhaps it's a conversation about suffragists or Rosa Parks or Mother Theresa.
Empowerment is a powerful word. Let's keep it that way for the sake of our daughters.
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ReaderComments (Page 2 of 2)
9-16-2008 @ 2:56PM
TT. johnson said...i say what if she gets what she wants and more by this i mean an incurable disease or some one hurts her becuse she not steady with them and they don't have attached feelings and get off on stuff like that, this is not good and is definitly fitting in today's society. america is a bit loose and needs a seriuos wake up call giving youself away with out feelings involved latter brings regret....trust me i know
Reply
9-16-2008 @ 3:38PM
Karen said...It doesn't really matter whether she gets her mil for the actual deflowering; the real money is in the porno documentary she'll be making, I'm sure. As long as she negotiates a good contract.
The really bizarre thing is that, according to the story, she's not just some 16-yr-old tramp in a thong -- she supposedly majored in women's studies. She should know better than to misuse words like "empowerment."
And while you might not think it completely justified to label these people a "family in crisis," think about it: if two of your daughters were whores, what would you think of your family? Not just sluts, but actual sex-for-money, brothel-dwelling whores. Wow. Someone needs to send this mom a copy of Lynne Spears' book.
Reply
9-16-2008 @ 4:53PM
Nicola said...Karen, excellent comment. I think you hit the nail on the head.
9-16-2008 @ 6:57PM
SKL said...On second thought, maybe she will make her million dollars on all the tabloid stories and then pull the ebay ad.
Reply
9-16-2008 @ 9:36PM
Flora said...So THAT'S how I get that house I want! ......j/k
I think, if she realizes all the harm that can come from it, then who are we to judge? It affects us in no way.
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9-17-2008 @ 12:13PM
c_rousseau05 said...All I can say is if that's her idea of "empowerment" then she might as well give up the ebay auction (Memoirs of a Geisha anyone? Maybe she took it to heart LOL!) and just go dance on some poles or something, she'd make more, fell "empowered" as she puts it, and pay her way through college. I say this all sarcastically of course...it's so sad what's in her mind right now. I wonder what her major is..........*shudder*.
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9-17-2008 @ 2:56PM
Chere said...I find this sad and disturbing. I pray that she realizes that this is not the way to get an education. I find it more and more surpising and distressing what people are willing to do for money. It seems as though nothing is sacred anymore not even your body.
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9-17-2008 @ 8:12PM
Heather said...You really have to wonder if this girl has been victimized or abused in some way. It is no secret that many young girls who become involved in prostitution or porn have serious psychological problems caused by past sexual abuse. I would also wonder if she has an alcohol or drug problem.Attention seeking for inappropriate behavior is another hallmark of past abuse. She needs professional intervention.
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9-17-2008 @ 8:32PM
MrsJenB72 said...I'm sorry, but I fail to see how turning yourself into a whore is empowering. I think that it is about the least empowering thing a woman can do. I think it's sad that something like this has made the kind of news it has. I think it's a sad commentary on today's society. It's stories like this that strengthen my resolve to raise my children differently than what society tells us is ok.
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9-21-2008 @ 3:49PM
doeluck said...Rachel, your article addresses a very important issue, that has been at the very heart of the "feminist" argument since the 60's revolution. It is my belief that those that call themselves "feminists" from that 60's/70's generation talk about women being "empowered", but really want to change the male and female nature. It's truly painful for these feminists to admit that, by nature, men and women are radically different. This is why the feminization of men (fashion, t.v. characters, etc.) and the masculinization of women is so prevalent in the culture today. These feminists, like Gloria Steinem and Betty Friedan, had very tragic childhoods and thus, have a very deep-seated hatred towards men. What kind of role-models did they have? And this gal that wants to use her body to pay off her debts, probably learned this from her college professors in the Women's Studies Dept. If men and women truly are the same, then why can't she use her body and sleep with whomever she wants, like many men do? Not all men, because the men with good values will not just inseminate whoever comes along.
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9-29-2008 @ 9:23AM
TIM said...Please God, if you value your daughter's sanity and intellectual development DON'T skip the concert and take her to a politcal rally. She'll simply learn at way too early an age that the world can be full of shallow adults willing to use everything and anything they can lay hands on to further their own narrow interests.
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9-29-2008 @ 12:59PM
Tired of the BS said...Why is Rachel Campos Duffy even relevant...I remember when she was on MTV Real World skaning it up with that a-hole and totally disgusting Puck...give me a break...she is the most empty headed useless media whore there is.
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11-19-2008 @ 1:29AM
Ellie said...I don't think there's anything wrong with her actions, honestly.
It's her body, I think she should be allowed to do what she wants with it. Furthermore, I believe we are right to feel empowered by this.
She's taking her body -- even though so many will object -- and doing what she feels she ought to.
And think of the thousands of girls going into "exotic dancing" to put themselves through college.
If you've got resources, and want to use them, who am I to stop you?
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