Mom packs 27 hours into one day!

by Rachel Campos-Duffy (Subscribe to Rachel Campos-Duffy's posts) Sep 26th 2008 8:00AM

I'm constantly battling technology demons. On my drive to pick up kids from school, I question if I should return calls and allow my toddler to watch Strawberry Shortcake in the minivan, or should we be singing and practice saying colors in Spanish? And while I am grateful that writing allows me to be home with my kids, I recently cringed when my six year-old complained, "Are you blogging again, Mommy?"

A recent study by AOL's Platform confirms what I was beginning to sense: Today's moms are the most efficient multi-taskers in the history of mothering. In fact the study demonstrated that we pack and astounding 27 hours of work into a 24-hour day! And while it also found that moms use technology primarily for "task oriented" parenting like helping a child with a school project or researching a symptoms before calling the doctor, many of us are beginning to challenge the pros and cons of being such darn efficient parents.

Case in point: parents sending kids off to to college for the first time are debating text messaging. My sister-in-law is grateful for how it enables her to stay connected and close with her out-of-state child. But another friend of mine fears that constant texting between parents and their college-age kids is interfering with this rite of separation, and enabling helicopter parenting. Instead of figuring things out for themselves, too many kids are reflexively texting mom when a problem arises. Yet, I remember what a hassle it was for my parents to coordinate rides and after-school activities with four teenagers. Text messaging would have cut down on the times my sister and I were left waiting for my mom to pick us up because our game or activity ended early and there was no way to reach her because she wasn't home. I feel downright ancient even telling this story!

What I am most grateful for is that technology has removed much of the isolation once associated with at home-motherhood. In interviews I conducted for a book I am writing about the changes in at-home motherhood, feeling cut off from the outside world was the top complaint from previous generations. Today, thanks to internet phone services that have made it virtually free, I can talk to my sister who lives in Uruguay on a daily basis. When it comes to technology, the debate and calls for balance rage on, but I will always marvel that my husband can list off movie titles at the video store from his cell while I look up reviews on the net so we can decide together and avoid disappointment later. Now that is technology working for families!

Comments (8)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

Karen 9-26-2008 @ 8:30AM

I think the biggest problem with technology is that we evaluate it with standards we developed before the technology existed.

Take your text messaging example. How great is it to be able to text an item you need from the grocery store, or for your husband to be able to tell you FROM the meeting that his ETA is later than origianlly planned? These are fabulous uses of technology. The same goes for a child being able to text their parents that they are at the back door of the school and ready to be picked up from art club (or whatever).

But the problem with the text example you use for college students is not with the technology, but with the parents and their ability to instill a sense of independence for their child. We say that we weren't able to ask our parents about which classes to take as we stood in line at college and ask if it is good for our children to do so. But, the parent should be enabling their child to make good decisions far before they get to college. The fact that the kids (or parents) use the technology as a crutch doesn't make technology bad, just that the people using it are making bad choices.

I think staying at home would be impossibly isolating if it weren't for technology and I'm very thankful it is available for all kinds of uses.

Uly 9-26-2008 @ 1:47PM

That was really well thought-out.

Chere 9-26-2008 @ 9:21AM

I think technology is a great tool for parents. For example, we were at a mall and this father was with his daughter. The little girl had to go to the bathroom and there was not a family bathrooom, she was old enough to go to the bathroom by herself,( but still young 6 maybe too young to go into a public bathroom by herself) but what her dad did was have her call him with her cell phone, when she went in to let him know she was okay. Now some may think that is a bit overboard, but how great to actually have the capablility to be able to do that.

I don't think technology should replace interaction between people. No matter how much texting we can do, nothing beats hearing the familiar voice of a loved one and having a conversation. But when it is difficult as in your case Rachel to talk to your sister on the phone technology can really bridge the gap and allow you to keep up with your sister's life.

When is your book coming out? I can't wait to read it. I will defintley buy it! That's funny, you said your daughter likes Strawberry Shortcake, my 2 1/2, Anya loves her! I think Strawberry is making a comeback!

Sifrina 9-27-2008 @ 9:50AM

That's funny about feeling ancient telling stories about how we grew up without this technology. Sure it can be done, but now we don't have to! My cell is my lifeline - especially when my son's at school or not with me.

When my husband wanted a home computer 13 years ago I asked why - we had computers/laptops at work. I then accused him of wanting it just for his geeky computer games. He brought up the Internet and I said (words I will NEVER live down): "The Internet is STUPID." Now I can't even tell you how much I depend on the Internet - for research (legal, medical, charitable organizations, news, science fair project ideas, mapquest) and for finding my son the very best books I read as a child that are now hard to find. I depend on the Internet for all sorts of shopping - craft/art supplies, salt free/organic foods, gifts, you name it! Sometimes I actually pay more for shipping than for the item itself - busy parents don't always have time to go from store to store to store. This way my husband and I can spend more time with our family and less time on the road with endless errands!

Jen 9-29-2008 @ 7:48PM

Whoa-that was really harsh. I too remember Rachel from The Real World but people grow up. If you don't find her relevant, don't read it. That simple. Besides, didn't you ever do something (s) that you regret? Everyone has. Your mistakes just weren't on tv. And even if she is using her family life to gain publicity, her kids are not "pathetic little projects" Totally uncalled for.

Matt 10-01-2008 @ 10:57PM

RACHEL,

Have you seen what's been going on at the VIEW? You would have been so much better than Elisabeth Hasselbeck at defending this administration. She did HORRIBLY today in defending Sarah Palin. Granted, it is a 4-1 panel, but I think you would fit WONDERFULLY there, even if Elizabeth were to stay. I think the panel needs another conservative voice and I think you are more level-headed than Elizabeth. Call Barbara and Bill, I'm sure they'll like the idea. Sorry if I'm throwing salt into an old wound, but you belong on that program!!

hope 10-02-2008 @ 2:26AM

Rachel,
I totally agree with you about how technology has lifted the isolation that comes with stay-at-home parenting. I couldn't believe how isolated and lonely I felt when I had my daughter, thousands of miles away from friends and family. That first year was tough. We're an Air Force family, so the internet really allowed me to reach out with things that maybe I didn't have the courage to say face to face, or receive a message in the middle of the night when I really needed it. And since most of my friends here are military and have since moved away, we're able to sustain our supportive friendships in a way that snail mail never could.

Now, to answer Tired of the BS's question, "why is Rachel relevant?" Because she's our PEER. She's a mom like most of the rest of us reading this blog and on this website. She never did anything to be ashamed of on Real World. I think she expressed what a lot of us were going through. And how awesome to be such a significant part of television history, and able to parlay it into a wonderful career that allows you to stay home with your kids. If you don't like her, don't read her. But leave it at that.

Do I agree with her on every single issue? Of course not! But I still think she's fab, and to be honest, would have loved to see her on The View over Elisabeth! I think Rachel could hold her own conservative viewpoint without taking it so personally.

Great job, Rachel. Keep on bloggin'! LOL

Chere 10-02-2008 @ 9:12AM

Rachel,
I just wanted to say one more thing. Please ignore those who try to attack you with their petty comments. You have a great blog and the videos are great too. I think it is wonderful that you have been able to create a career that allows you to stay at home and do the most important job on earth which is taking care of your children. Who cares what you did on the real world it was like 15 years ago! You seem to be an excellent woman, mom and wife, keep doing what you are doing.

If someone has that much animosity they shouldn't read the blog. It is that simple.

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