Is nine years old too young for marriage?
Categories: Kids 8-11, Teens & tweens, Love & Sex, Safety
Nine years old is a good age to play jump-rope, dress up dolls, and maybe, just maybe, start thinking about boys as something other than totally gross. Wedding plans should be strictly the fairytales and pumpkin kind and definitely not the actual type. Unfortunately, there are those who think that nine is the perfect age for a young girl to get married.
In Britain, thousands of young girls, as young as nine, are being forced into marriages and schools are being asked to be ever more vigilant for children at risk and who suddenly stop showing up. "The youngest child we have dealt with was nine years old," said Jasvinder Sanghera, director of Karma Nirvana, a national telephone helpline for girls forced into marriage. "The girl told her teacher she was going to be forced to marry someone and initially she was not believed." Thankfully, the girl was eventually placed into foster care.
The problem is bad enough that the government operates a Forced Marriage Unit, jointly funded by the Home Office and Foreign Office. I don't know what kind of parent thinks its okay for a nine-year-old to get married. I have a thirteen-year-old niece and there's no way I would want her to miss out on her life just to satisfy some dirty old man's need to marry.
In Britain, thousands of young girls, as young as nine, are being forced into marriages and schools are being asked to be ever more vigilant for children at risk and who suddenly stop showing up. "The youngest child we have dealt with was nine years old," said Jasvinder Sanghera, director of Karma Nirvana, a national telephone helpline for girls forced into marriage. "The girl told her teacher she was going to be forced to marry someone and initially she was not believed." Thankfully, the girl was eventually placed into foster care.
The problem is bad enough that the government operates a Forced Marriage Unit, jointly funded by the Home Office and Foreign Office. I don't know what kind of parent thinks its okay for a nine-year-old to get married. I have a thirteen-year-old niece and there's no way I would want her to miss out on her life just to satisfy some dirty old man's need to marry.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Jan Bay 9-30-2008 @ 6:02PM
I have heard that in the past girls as young as twelve were allowed to marry in the USA and that's bad enough; but nine? Those poor kids.
Jan from http://www.unique-baby-gear-ideas.com/
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pbhj 9-30-2008 @ 7:44PM
I'll go right ahead and display some prejudice ... I'm assuming these are girls of muslim fathers married off to partners back in pakistan (that's the only comparable situation I've heard of in the UK) ... oh, checking the title of the source "Nine-year-old brides saved by authorities from being married off in Muslim weddings" ... that's a pretty big/vital piece of information for the story. Why not mention perhaps the most salient point?
Mohammed "married", in the fullest sense, a preteen (9 years old, http://www.muhammadanism.org/hadith/Topics/Marriage.htm) - he actually married her at 6 but waited until she was 9 to consummate the marriage. Many muslims believe Mohammed to be the perfect example of human life ...
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fairymama 10-01-2008 @ 1:40AM
Muslims do not have a monopoly on sick behavior. They could be FLDS or a variety of other Christians and many cults who use religion as an excuse for child abuse.
pbhj 10-01-2008 @ 3:16PM
fairymama, go ahead and let us all know about these other religions whose founder consummated a marriage with a preteen ...
The point is this behaviour is specific to a well-defined group and so failing to mention the group is rather strange. The fact that other well-defined groups have done other things is rather off-topic.
DEE 9-30-2008 @ 10:13PM
that is the most crutial and awful thing i have ever heard, 9 YEARS OLD???? what the hell is the matter with these people. they are still babies. i think 18 is still too young to decide on marriage but at least they can decide for themselves, a baby at that age can't even decide on what they want to eat for dinner that night let along try to think of how they are going to " please " their husband, that is just sick and who ever and i mean exactly whoever said or approved for a child to get married needs to be hung
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booknerd83 9-30-2008 @ 10:26PM
ARE YOU F&*%ING KIDDING ME?! These people who are forcing these kids into this should be put in jail. Awful...
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myra 11-18-2008 @ 1:08PM
The next time you see a Mosque, know that is the belief system of the folks inside. Got a Mosque in your neighborhood?
fairymama 10-01-2008 @ 1:42AM
Muslims do not have a monopoly on sick behavior. They could be FLDS
or a variety of other Christians and many cults who use religion as
an excuse for child abuse.
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Sandyone 10-01-2008 @ 11:46AM
Yeah, but if they were some variety of Christianity, Roger would have been sure to mention it and say something clever and snarky about it.
Dorothy 10-01-2008 @ 12:17PM
My great-grandmother married for the first time when she was just 14 years old. But we are talking back in 1910 here. Not this modern age. I beleive that this is a form of child abuse. Parents should not allow it. We have laws that reflect what the mininum age for marriage should be in each state. Those laws are there for a reason. If the parents allow such behavior, they should be the ones to go to jail for it. It would be like if I decided to let my seven year old son go out and get a 7 year old girl preg. It's not right, morally, and lawfully. They need to get the parents......
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LS 10-01-2008 @ 1:39PM
But in the U.K., where this is happening, Sharia Law (the law that Muslims follow, which is based on the Koran, among other things) is becoming more and more accepted. Even the Archbishop of Canterbury has been quoted as endorsing Sharia Law.
Yes, this particular article is about Muslims. Yes, Roger failed to mention that. It is NOT about FLDS or anyone else. And it's attitudes like those - "oh, it could be anyone, don't just pick on one group" - that cause this stuff to be insidious. People are so afraid of being non-PC that they will turn a blind eye rather than calling out what is wrong and putting a stop to it.
There should be ONE law of the land. Currently, the law says that it's illegal to mess with kids. But if those who enforce the law start bending to "Cultural Preferences" like Sharia Laws, there are going to be serious problems, and this kind of stuff is going to become the norm.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1535478/Sharia-law-is-spreading-as-authority-wanes.html
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1578017/Adopt-sharia-law-in-Britain,-says-the-Archbishop-of-Canterbury-Dr-Rowan-Williams.html
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Myra 11-18-2008 @ 12:54PM
The Arabs are using the oil money and filling the world with Mosques. The Cultured Europeans with their PC heads up their fazoo are about to lose thier Countries to Islam. It is not a religeon it is a way of life and a political agenda. Their way of life states clearly that they must obliterate OUR way of life. Their belief system is the MOST politically incorrect thing on the face of the planet and we afford them sensitivity, I say offer them the door and a swift kick on the arse. And you wonder why bush is in the Middle East? It's not oil or revenge for his daddy, Its to stem the flow of terror that goes hand in hand with the Koran and it's followers
SKL 10-01-2008 @ 1:45PM
Just to play the devil's advocate, it is almost certain that this marriage will not get "physical" for many years.
I don't approve of it, and I assume it's illegal in the UK, so of course it needs to be stopped. I don't know if it's illegal in most Muslim countries or not. I know it is illegal in India, but that doesn't completely stop it from happening there. If its legal and a part of the culture in a particular country, then I would not attack the parents. In some cultures, if a child isn't married young enough, she can't get married "well" at all; and in those same cultures, an unmarried female has an extremely difficult life. To delay marriage might mean ultimately forcing the girl into a worse marriage. There's a lot going on that we just can't fathom. We can't judge based just on what our culture condones. After all, they think we are the sick ones for letting our kids potentially lose their virginity before marriage.
If we feel girls deserve the right to self-determination throughout the world, then our role should be to promote education and basic human rights for girls and young women, not just bash cultures we don't understand.
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pbhj 10-01-2008 @ 3:27PM
I find it troubling that the assumption for these children is that the pakistani/bangladeshi homeland culture is the prime one. There is no chance of an integrated society in Britain if it's simply used as a stopping-off point to get free healthcare, education and possibly other welfare benefits.
It should be illegal for British subjects to marry, or be the subject of a marriage type contract, under the age of consent - no matter where they are.
I don't think complete self-determination is the goal (for minors) but they do deserve not to be traded off to fulfil the mores of a culture in which they do not even live.
Puterdame 10-14-2008 @ 5:25PM
If they're in OUR country, they should be made to abide by OUR laws, as I'm sure we would be, if the situation were reversed. It's called rape, plain and simple; I don't really care where the hell they're from. And yes, I most certainly WILL judge....there's supposed to be a difference between humans and animals.......guess they haven't figured that out yet.
Heather 10-01-2008 @ 9:33PM
Why would you assume that the relastionship wouldn't get physical? What normal adult male would marry a 9 yr old? There is a good chance that it would get physical , esspecially if the girl is being shipped off to Pakistan or another country. I read a book ( a true story) recently where a girl was sent to work but ended up in a brothel. She was 9. Marrying that girl off gives the husband even more right to have sex with her.
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SKL 10-02-2008 @ 12:38PM
I am not assuming. I know that in cultures where children marry very young (sometimes as young as three), it is understood that the marriage is a mere promise, not to be consummated until the girl is of an appropriate age to bear children. They don't live together until the girl is of such age. If someone did something sexually even to his wife at that age, the culture would condemn it. Maybe it happens in rare cases, but we know for sure young girls get raped in our culture too.
I don't like the idea of forced marriages, but it's not because of anything sexual. It's because a young woman is forced to suppress important aspects of who she is. (Integrated into this reality is the attitude that the male is far more important than the female.) They do these marriages at a young age because it is easier to "mold" a younger woman / teen than one who has gotten used to thinking for herself.
I don't think this child is in any physical danger, but I do believe the UK should stop this from happening to her. In her case, it is all the worse because she has seen that forced marriage is not the only option, so she would suffer more than if she just believed this was the only way things were done.
Don 10-02-2008 @ 7:17AM
Married or not at 9 years old you should be charged with pedophilia for even asking to marry a little girl.
I understand there are cultural and religious differences through out the the world, but I also reserve the right to think that some of those beliefs are barbaric.
If you want to immigrate to another country then you should accept that you are becoming a member of that country and you should shed some (not all) your cultural differences and accept some of your new host countries laws and cultural beliefs.
Take the following article as a great example of assimilation.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/09/26/yasmin-fostok-hate-cleric_n_129516.html
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pamela 10-03-2008 @ 9:30PM
booknerd, you said it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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jessicam21 10-05-2008 @ 5:21PM
This is just sick. What kind of parents would make there 9 year old child get married??? Its not fair to strip them away from their childhood. Im glad that little girl said something and was put into foster care. Let them be young forcing marriage on anyone young or old is ridiculous!!!!
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