Homework never ends for parents
One of the things people without school-age kids might not realize is how much the homework requirements have changed- for the parents. When I was a kid, if there was an assignment that require adult assistance at home, parents would have sensibly said, "I had to do that stuff when I was in school. Now I'm done." and that would have been that.
However, between that time and now, some do-gooder parent got a wild pencil stuck in their sharpener and did something fancy like put their kindergartner's three sentence report on fish on a tri-fold board with glitter after driving them to four aquariums in three different states and then laminated everything. Just like that, the bar on homework was raised requiring parental involvement from everyone and now we all suffer. In my years with kids at school I have seen a life-size robot that could do actual math problems (this was a kindergarten project, by the way) and seen a science fair exhibit that explored the likelihood of the existence of worm holes in space (5th grade project, different kid than the robot one.)
This explains how I, someone who grew up with absolutely no idea how her relatives fell on the political spectrum (and still doesn't) and has never allowed a political sign of any nature to be stuck in her lawn, found myself being interviewed by my junior high student on my thoughts on the presidential candidates, it was part of his government class assignment. Students were to ask parents what experiences qualify each candidate to be President of the United States, why that experience is important and then give an example of someone else who had similar experience. Assignments like this are extra painful because you know your child is going to being judged by your responses. You don't want to be the dummy OR the smart ass of the group, but in the off-chance that this teacher might serve on the committee that doles out college scholarship recommendations someday, you don't want your child to be bland and forgettable either.
By the time the interview concluded, I had spent more time mulling my responses than I had deciding what to name the child querying me. Was I coming across as fair? Balanced? Since when did having an 8th grader in the house mean you had to be a political analyst?!
They say it takes a village to raise a child. So far, I've taught mine to walk, talk, use the bathroom, have basic manners, look both ways, say no to drugs, take a bite out of crime, and floss. I'm ready for someone else in the village to step in and help out regarding when it comes to these school assignments.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
pbhj 10-06-2008 @ 9:50AM
Is your involvement improving your kid's education? Yes - then keep on. If not, then don't do it - you don't have to "keep up with the Joneses".
My parents were both teachers - the only help they gave with homework was helping me choose a book to study; I think that's a little too hands off. But unless the homework is adding value to the child's education it's not worth doing ... if the homework is way beyond the scope of the child's abilities then complain to the school.
Note that there is some value in a child realising their limitations and in them finding alternative ways to complete work that they can't do alone (it's even educational to be caught cheating). But not all homework should be like that.
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isisaquaria 10-06-2008 @ 10:27AM
I was the kid with parents who said you will come up with the idea, design the project, and we will get you what you need and sit back and watch, answering the ocassional question and assisting only once you have tried on your own. I often didn't want the help and still ended up with the highly "decorated" projects just fueled by my own desire to be better than everyone else.
My oldest is the same way, on her own. I just pay for the stuff and hold things still while glue dries. Or, I am the typist for the paper she wrote and I do not edit.
I have assisted in cutting decorative edges at her request, I have helped paint plywood, or helped cut strips for paper mache'---things that I do have no reflection on the project design and do not have influence over the grade--it is merely a time saving assist because she has so much to do. Example--this week, two verbal projects with visual models, a book presentation with story board summary and this is all while going to school and having homework daily.
Over the weekend, she selected all her pics and printed them, after she went to bed, I cut them out.
I will do the same for all the children. It is what I choose to do. As long as my children want it, my assistance is available. But, it is the child's job to know what is expected, plan it, and ask the right questions.
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CLM 10-06-2008 @ 11:15AM
Can I just say that I am already dreading the day my twin boys start school? They are only 15 months old and I shudder every time I hear about the current levels of homework - we're going to deal with this times 2.
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Sabrina 10-06-2008 @ 12:50PM
My mom bought supplies, answered questions and helped me plan geometrical logistics to get everything to FIT on my posterboards. She taught me how to do the basic steps of planting for my science fair project, and once or twice in high school she typed up a report that I had handwritten and spent hours on. Not so that I could go out with friends or watch TV, but because I needed to get to sleep if I had a hope of getting up in time to turn it in the next day. She drew the line at helping me with math. We both don't do well at math though, so I understand there. She even tried valiantly to help me do french flashcards for one school year before giving up the pronunciations and making me enlist friends for help. I hope I'm just as helpful, without doing the work for my kids. I just want to support them, their creativity, their ideas, and their grades that they can feel proud of because it was their accomplishment, not mine.
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Karen 10-06-2008 @ 1:12PM
Forget major projects, I'd just like a break on the day to day stuff.
I really wish the school day was managed better so that there was less homework, particularly for my 3rd grader. The amount can be overwhelming some times and if I dont' sit there and portion it out in smaller doses, it becomes a nightmare. That means that several days a week, I am part of the almost 2 hour homework routine for my 3rd grader.
My older child is in a project based curriculum and I have an art background, so it is very difficult for me to stay out of that aspect of her life. I do - but it is hard.
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Mallory 10-06-2008 @ 1:47PM
I completely agree with "pbhj" that if your help is providing value and your kid is learning more, then it is worth it.
Also, I haven't thought about how much time throughout all my school years that my parents had helped me out. I did on a case by case basis but never really thought about the hours and hours they helped me overall. I feel like I should write my parents a thank you note right now. :) I am going to have to pump myself up for that when I have kids too.
http://wherefamiliesconnect.com
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Kayla Fay 10-14-2008 @ 12:27PM
I'm always torn between being irritated at the neccesity of being so involved in homework, and being resigned that it has to be that way. When you have kids with learning challenges, it gets even more tricky. We tried to help our guys learn to help themselves. We taught them how to study, by studying with them.
Our first three boys needed a LOT of help; our last one sails through without any assistance at all. I'd like to think that was because of all we learned from the first three, but I'm afraid it's mainly because his brain is wired differently.
Nonetheless, those three that needed all that help are now independent, productive and happy adults. So all that help has paid off.
http://www.goaskmom.com
http://www.onlinescienceprojects.com
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