Part-time parents have it tough

I am a father that didn't have to be. I've been married for almost 20
years now. My wife's children (boy & girl) were physically and
mentally abused by a previous step-father and abandoned by their real
father. Never recieved a dime in child support from either one of
them. Didn't need it and didn't want it. Had a hell of a time
building up their self-esteem...at first. 20 years later I have 5
well-adjusted (for the most part) grand-children. MY children refer
to me as DAD. MY grand-children refer to me as Grampa. I was the
one who was there for them when they needed someone who would try to
understand and love them. I do not regret marrying a single mother
in the slightest. It is not about money or material things, but about
love and understanding.

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My husband and I had an amicle divorce and shared the kids. We even occasionally went out to eat as a family. We were both at the soccer games, graduations, etc. I don't recomend divorce when the kids are still being raised. No matter what, it is hard on them. I regret it. But I have 3 grown children who are wonderful and don't seem to have been affected by the divorce.
Ann

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Unfortunately, in today's society, the vast majority of men are pretty much good for nothing except sperm donation. In addition, many men simply are not healthy (some even just croak, so that leaves you man-less anyway, even if they were worth a crap) past the age of 50 or so, due to their hard-partying, screwing everything in sight in their early years (think STD's), poor diets (Mickey D's, J.D., Burger King and Old Style), and lack of excercise (getting up for the Old Style doesn't count). As far as the College issue, College is fantastic if your parent can foot the bill, but an $80,000.00 student loan is not fun to deal with upon graduation (especially with our wonderful economy). Besides, many folks at the top of the Forbes richest Americans list are NOT college grads.....! Golly, I would have to say single moms have it made. No selfish butthole to contend with at least....and that is a LOT.

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My son and I have recently gone thru the whole back and forth "game" of joint custody..Try explaining to child that just turned 3 that a man that he has never seen or been around is his father then explain to him that he never had been around but loves him,Your dont talk to strangers theory is completely thrown out of the window. My son has gone thru things he shouldve never have been exposed to at his age especially to the hatred that family had for me when I got pregnant He comes home from his fathers calling me a whore and a slut just because his father got me pg and wanted nothing to do with his first born son. He has also taken out his anger, he has for me on our son. my son has come home with welts and bruises on his back side.CPS was informed and I was put under a microscope We were ordered in court that he and I must complete parenting class I took all 5 He had an extra class for how to discipline a toddler he never went to any of the classes Yes he went 3 years and 9 months of never seeing his kid to having joint custody. but wanted full custody Yes my son has alot of issues now .to hear that a father actually cares kills me If he even picked up his own son it would surprise me.Fathers that actually care are one thing but people that just do the joint custody thing to run your life is another

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I have a twenty-one month old son, I only get to see him when it's convient for his mother i.e. working late or doing whatever. She doesn't even appreciate me paying her car note, car insurance and half of day care. She grew up in a single parent family. Wants total control over all decisions concerning our son. The law here are totally for the mother of the child. We were never married, and it makes me sick not being able to see him everyday. But I do charish the time we spend together. I can't understand how this women knowing there are so many fathers who don't even actknonledge they have a child much less want to see their child and provide for them, love them and be a part of their life. I've spent thousands of dollars dealing with low life crooked lawyers, the justice system is a joke for men when is comes to these situations. It's doesn't matter if you pay child support or want to be a part of their life. They don't take any of these things in consideration. Only when you don't do these things they drag you through the mud. Makes alot of sense. Your dammed if you do and you dammed if you don't.

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Speaking up for step-parents/guardians whatever we are deemed to be, at 33 I met my husband who had a three and a half year old. 10 years later, at the same age of 33, his first (ex) wife, has now decided she wants to be more of the single girl and sees her eldest daughter every other weekend - the other girl she had with second partner refuses to see her. She split up with second chap because of affair, same as happened to my husband. We get p'd off because she treats my stepdaughter to get her nails done, and hair done (at 13) where we are providing the financial stability, regular home, love, and all the rest of it. But some people are just not cut out to be parents. Someone once said to me only love and care are important. Now I happen to think that one single parent (responsible, loving, setting a good example, hard working) is better than having either one or two duds in the occasion. My husband's ex is a dud. You can't completely judge a book by its cover until you get to know that person, and after all I fell in love with a single parent (with an attachment). Maybe it was because I saw that he was caring. Some people have all the will in the world and think a child will be the answer to everything but above all, regardless of money (although you need some kind of finances coming in, and better coming from yourself than the state if that is possible), you need to be sorted in yourself before you bring someone into the world. The state of the world now sees that there are a lot of people who just aren't cut out for this job. Not sure if I am, but I am making a damn sight better job of it than the real mother and I never said I was any good at this type of thing.
Good luck to everyone out there who loves their kids and brings them up well, it's a hard job but the future is in their hands once we have all turned to dust.

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This article struck me funny since my husband has left us 16 months ago, he could careless about seeing his two kids.
He moved out of state vowed never to return to see his kids.
He's off creating a new life for himself.

Then, me. I couldn't go a night without seeing my kids. They are my everything and I'm completely devoted to them.

I don't get some people.

n.

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