Hot on HuffPost Parents:
Mitch Kellaway: Father's Day as a Transgender Man
Melissa Sher: The 7 Annoying People You'll Meet When Pregnant
Dad not welcome in mom's club
Filed under: Just For Moms, Toddlers Preschoolers, Just For Dads
If we had the financial wherewithal to allow it, I would love to be a stay-at-home dad. I would spend my days helping out at the kids' schools, taking them on all kinds of adventures, and, yes, getting together with other parents and kids for copious playdates. Luckily, where I live, stay-at-home dads are not unusual and I know that I would be welcome in pretty much any group of parents. That's not the case, however, everywhere.Rick Kaselj moved to Surrey, British Columbia recently and found a local Mommy & Me club online. He joined the group and began receiving e-mails about their activities. As a part-time stay-at-home dad, it was a couple of months before he was able to attend one. When he finally found one that fit his schedule, he was told that the group was for mothers only. "I hate to discriminate," the e-mail he got read, "but hope you can understand when it comes to the security of our children and especially since you have not been able to attend a meetup."
"We talk about the things we went through during our pregnancies, our postpartum bodies and minds among various other things," wrote one of the group's members. "Unless this dad physically gave birth to his son, he would have little to talk about in that department." I guess educating guys about this sort of thing is out of the question because, after all, who wants an enlightened, understanding guy around?
The original founder of the group was horrified that the current organizer had decided to ban Kaselj. The two have since gotten together to start another, all-inclusive parenting group. I have to say, I'd rather join a group that doesn't discriminate based on gender, no matter how good the rationalization.
Your<span>Voice</span>
Ask Us Anything About Parenting
TheTalkies:RelatedVideos
-
How to Call Home to Your Kids
Daddy Clay seeks the wisdom of Road Warriors everywhere: what makes for a great call home to the kids? A predictable routine? Drawing kids into conversation? Cool technology? Dads staying in touch while on the road, aka DadLabs.
-
Drinkin' With Dad - Is It Safer For Kids To Drink If Parents Know?
Those cool parents who say their kids were going to drink anyway, so they may as well do it at home? They may be turning their kids into binge drinkers. Joining the conversation are Iris Estrada, James Mulcahy, Kindred Howard, Melina DiMarco and Suzanne Hegland.
-
Drinkin' With Dad
Those cool parents who say their kids were going to drink anyway, so they may as well do it at home? They may be turning their kids into binge drinkers.
-
Considering Children's Chores at Home
Make your bed. Clear the table. Do laundry. Prepare the taxes. When do parents turn themselves into a broken record to get their kids to do their chores? If ever. The Dads debate the merits of household chores for kids.
SitesWeLove
- Site Map
- |
- Staff
- |
- Terms of Service
- |
- Privacy Policy
- |
- Trademarks
- |
- Advertise With Us
- |
- About Our Ads
- |
- AOL Downloads
- |
- Contact Us
- |
© Copyright 2012 AOL Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Aol Family
ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
10-18-2008 @ 12:31PM
Nicola said...My husband was a stay at home dad for over three years (until the boy started preschool) and was always welcomed into the Moms crowd without question. Park plays, library story times, lunch playdates, it was never an issue. I suppose that he was very lucky. Or perhaps just a bit too feminine for his own good! ;-)
Reply
10-18-2008 @ 1:04PM
Karen said...I think there is room for both groups that are single gender and groups that are mixed. There are female issues that people discuss that they would not be comfortable discussing with men around and I'm guessing it is the same for men. However, that isn't all that is discussed, so I see a place for mixed groups as well.
It seems to me rather than get upset over one group being more uncomfortable in single gender situations, that the effort should be finding a group that fits you.
And if you don't find one - why not start one?
Reply
3-25-2009 @ 11:43PM
Les Jacobs said...In our case my being a stay-at-home dad was not a luxury but a necessity. We gave birth to triplets and b/c neither my wife nor I had any family nearby to help us, one of us had to stay home and take care of the kids. She earned much more than I did at the time, so the choice was easy.
Being an at-home dad has not been easy, however. Our three boys are now four years old and it's becoming more important than ever to get them involved with other children. I take them to the park almost every day, and that helps, but they are starting to ask for regular play dates with other kids, so I'm going to have to look for a playgroup to join. (Their mother currently takes them once a week.)
As I have noted in my blog --TripletsDad.com -- I've been invited to at least one such playgroup, made up of mothers, so I think the mothers in my neighborhood are more open minded than those of the Cloverdale group. I haven't joined up to now b/c I have very little in common with most mothers. But how I feel comes second place to the needs of my kids, of course.
Time to look for some play groups!
Reply
10-18-2008 @ 10:56PM
CLM said...I am a SAHM and I have more than one friend who is a SAHD. Regardless of gender, I think it can take a little time and work to find a group with whom you fit well.
Reply
10-19-2008 @ 12:24AM
Realmom said...I think this is ridiculous. I believe this guy just wants publicity. If he was really looking for a group to join why didn't he look for a dad and me group which he could relate better to. Does he think he can relate to cracked nipples and haveing a husband who is more interested in his computer than caring for the baby.
It just sounds fishy to me, like he wants to get somethign out of this. If he joined and didn't go for months then he wasn't really in need of a group. Some peopel just like to get their names in the news.
Reply
10-31-2008 @ 3:13AM
Kevin said...I don't know about this guy, but your comment contains a lot of generalizations.
As a part time stay-at-home Dad, I know first hand that not all communities have "Dad and me" groups. Just because i'm a Man, do I have to drive farther to someplace where I am welcome; just to let my kids be part of a regular play group?
And like other's suggest, starting and organizing one in my area isn't always an option either. Besides the time commitment, there doesn't seem to be that many stay-at-home Dad's in my area.
No, I can't relate to cracked nipples, but not all Mom's have husbands who are "more interested in his computer...". But I CAN relate to the fact that I love my kids and want the best for them!
My personal experiences tell me there are a lot of 'hostile' Mom's (towards stay-at-home Dad's). I'm still not sure why. Fortunately, most Mom's in my area are more open-minded and friendly.
10-23-2008 @ 2:57PM
Nate said...I'm a stay at home dad and have been since my eldest was born
3 1/2 years ago. Now we have an almost one year old and another on the way so I'll be a stay at home dad for a while to come. It is tough, but I love it. I'm a writer and have started blogging about my experiences as a stay at home dad. Here's the link to my site if you want to check it out.
www.nateflix.net
I take the girls to play groups during the day and usually I am the only dad there.
Reply