Seriously, folks--can you feel the media struggling? Yes, this is an actual headline, somewhere. According to a new "report" Madonna, soon to be divorced, is keen to have a baby with baseball superstar Alex Rodriguez. A-Rod, who if you'll recall recently separated from his wife, Cynthia, about ten minutes after she gave birth to their second child together, was alleged to have made the split to make more room for Madge and her Kaballah-loving ways. I find this hysterical as Madonna could clearly kick A-Rod's butt, so I'm not sure why she'd want to have a baby with him. But hey, love--or lust, whatever--is strange.

Not so sure that's true. My guess is that being married to a celebrity, and a sports legend, can take its toll. Now the tabloid pendulum has swung the other way, and claims are being made that A-Rod, while not necessarily having anything to do with the material mom's breakup with director Guy Ritchie, wants to be as close to her as possible and is set to purchase a home a hop-skip from her Manhattan abode. Madonna is alleged to want to take custody of her kids and move them to New York permanently, which of course won't sit well with Guy.

To juice things up a little more, now the mill is spinning that the fifty-year-old thinks A-Rod is prime baby making material and wants to get her hands on his, er, goods, to make another baby. Madonna is already mom to Lourdes, Rocco and David Banda. It's also rumored that she is set to adopt again from Malawi. If both are true, Madge's baby count will be a mere five compared to Angelina's six (and looking for one to grow on, making her count a magical seven). This means Madonna is NOT number one in at least one thing, for now. instead she'll just have to settle for being super pop star ruler of the world. Unless she and A-Rod can knock out some twins. Work it, Madge!

Now all this garbage aside, if A-Rod and Madonna had a baby, this kid would be both beautiful and an athletic superstar, no? Just don't let him/her get those highlight tips that A-Rod's always sporting....