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Mom gets teen to behave by giving her cigarettes
Filed under: Teens, Weird But True
My husband and I like to joke that the foundation of good parenting is bribery. Want the kids to clean their rooms, or sort the laundry, or just play nicely for a while? Offer a bribe!We're kidding, and even when we're not the bribe at our house is something like ten extra minutes of Spongebob Squarepants or a couple of Oreos after lunch. But one British mom is trying something different: she rewards her 13-year-old daughter's good behavior with cigarettes.
Not really the same thing at all.
43-year-old single mom Tracy Holt told this month's Closer magazine about her unorthodox parenting philosophy: "I don't see the point in punishing her. If I ground her, I'm just punishing myself because I have to put up with her in the house. Instead, I reward her good behaviour by giving her cigarettes. If she's bad, she goes without. She's a little comedian. I let her get away with a lot of cheek. It's sweet."
But when 13-year-old Sam isn't being "a little comedian" she's drinking and smoking pot and having sex and getting in trouble at school. Sam lost her virginity at 12 and has had four sexual partners since then, but her mother shrugs it off, saying that at least her first sexual experience wasn't a one-night stand."She had been dating the guy for a couple of weeks." She took her daughter to the doctor the next day for birth control, and tells the girl to use a condom.
Frankly, that seems like more than "a lot of cheek."
Sam currently smokes 15 cigarettes a day; her mother smokes 20. For Tracy Holt, the bottom line is this: "There are a lot worse things she could be doing. We've all got to die sometime. I haven't got cancer from smoking so she'll probably be all right anyway."
I don't even know what to say to that, really.
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
10-21-2008 @ 2:18PM
Jack said..."Mother of the year" award reclaimed from Lynn Spears in 3...2...1....
Reply
10-21-2008 @ 1:04PM
missy said...it is not the daughters fault for the way she acts,she is only mimmicking what she sees.she sees her mother smoke,so she wants to smoke.God only knows what shes seen her mom do with men. the girl only wants attention,and like all children she wants to play adult. unfortionatly,for her, the adult she calls mom is a lousy excuse for a mother.it all boils down to they are unhappy,and they try to fill the void with booze, cigarettes,sex or whatever is at hand.the only thing that can fill that kind of emptiness is Christ. corny as it might sound to the unbeliever, Christ Jesus gives you a sense of belonging,knowing why your here.and know mater what happens He will take care of us. He might not always keep us from bad things, but He is there with us when they happen.I have four children,and i want to keep the from harm,and teach them right from wrong. i can not always be there, and control the situation,but i can show them the narrow path and the eternal hope Christians have. it sounds like this mother and daughter don't have this hope, and they only need to be shown the way. its never to late to be born again.
Reply
10-21-2008 @ 2:08PM
Donna, KrazyKidsBedding.com said...I agree with Missy. Jesus Christ is the answer. When I first read Susan's blog I could not believe it. I still wonder if it was something just made up to get a reaction out of people. A lot of parents find it is easier to let their children do what they want. Parenting takes a lot of work with a lot of love. Kids like boundaries even though they won't admit it.
10-22-2008 @ 7:35AM
ninainindia said...This has nothing to do with Christ. You are right that she needs a better mother and that the way she has been parented led to her behaviour now but to link that to being a Christian makes no sense. There are many many people on this earth that son't follow a religion that do have the right morals an raise their children right.
10-21-2008 @ 4:06PM
Sabrina said...When I first read that it sounded exactly like good old Brittish humor. I re-read the article, now it sort of sounds like she's one of those ones who isn't the least bit in control of her child, and chooses to laugh about it and blame others. I guess it's none of my business, and I'm not sure why/how it ended up in a published magazine. It's not as shocking as a lot of parenting I've seen and heard about. I hope this girl gets it out of her system now and keeps up with her goal not to get pregnant until she's married.
Reply
10-22-2008 @ 12:59AM
c_rousseau05 said...Although the start to this behavior probably wasn't the childs fault, it's her fault now. C'mon, 13 and knows how to have sex, smoke pot and cigarettes. SHE KNOWS BETTER. She does. However, her mother not being an example of the "right" way a little girl of that age needs to be...well, that's her mothers fault. I can't believe she said that there's worse things that child could be doing....like what? Aside from getting Aids or having a sex tape roaming the internet I can't think of anything worse for a child to be doing.
Reply
10-22-2008 @ 7:38AM
ninainindia said...I actually know someone that would also buy cigarettes for her children. I was astounded when I found out. They got cigarettes instead of allowance.....
Reply