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Are sympathy pains for real?
Filed under: Just For Dads, Your Pregnancy, Activities: Babies, Weird But True
Periodically I've heard stories of women whose male partners suffered what have been deemed "sympathy pains" while the women were pregnant. These included everything from feeling mildly emotional to actually feeling like they were going through labor themselves when the mother-to-be's water broke and she went into actual labor. My husband never experienced such sympathy pains and I raise a skeptical eyebrow as to their existence, but people swear they're for real.
Question is, are they a physiological, biological reality, or are they just in the male head? My husband, when asked, responded that he merely felt the sympathetic desire to eat everything in sight. He didn't have sympathy cravings, per se, but his appetite easily matched mine while I was pregnant. He likes to joke about it, but it's true. Others swear they've experienced the pains, and that perhaps it comes from feeling like nothing can be done by the man, who is used to handling and resolving situations, to help the laboring woman. Seeing your spouse in the pain of her life is no cakewalk; being able to do essentially nothing about it is even worse. Perhaps psychologically, sympathy pains allow the man to go through the pain with the woman, so she doesn't have to do it alone.
According to one article I unearthed on the subject, though, there is a biological foundation for these feelings. Men with pregnant partners were shown to have an increased level of estrogen and a decreased level of testosterone in one test. Another study offered by the good folks at Telegraph.co.uk (although more than a year old) was more specific. According to this report, men surveyed experienced everything from morning sickness to moodiness to toothaches as part of their sympathy pains. And, you know, that's exactly what any household needs--two people going through all the ridiculous things that happen when you become pregnant! The most common sympathy symptom was the stomach cramp.
What about you? Did you or your partner experience sympathy pains while pregnant? Or, was there any rather unusual behavior from your partner that you attributed to the pregnancy?
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
10-26-2008 @ 1:12AM
markycf said...My psychology teacher said that he had sympathy pains when his wife was giving birth. I guess they are real because other people have said to have them.
Reply
10-26-2008 @ 4:04PM
jen said...I had sympathy pains for my sister when she gave birth. it was the freakiest thing in the world. I woke up at 2am one morning, in utter agony. I'd never had a child myself (at that point) and couldn't work out why I was in so much pain - and a type of pain I'd never before felt. My husband was very very close to calling an ambulance, as I was obviously suffering so badly. It lasted about 5 minutes and then thankfully subsided.
My brother in law woke me the next morning with the news that my sister had undergone an emergency caesarean with my nephew, and he was born at exactly 2.05 that morning.
I joke with her that 'at least you had pain relief - I had to go through it all naturally!'.
Since I've had my own two children, I can pinpoint that particular and quite unique type of pain to those really bad labour pains you have right near transition, so it was definitely sympathy pains and not a bad chicken salad the night before...
Not something I'd like to experience again!
Reply
10-26-2008 @ 4:04PM
jen said...I had sympathy pains for my sister when she gave birth. it was the freakiest thing in the world. I woke up at 2am one morning, in utter agony. I'd never had a child myself (at that point) and couldn't work out why I was in so much pain - and a type of pain I'd never before felt. My husband was very very close to calling an ambulance, as I was obviously suffering so badly. It lasted about 5 minutes and then thankfully subsided.
My brother in law woke me the next morning with the news that my sister had undergone an emergency caesarean with my nephew, and he was born at exactly 2.05 that morning.
I joke with her that 'at least you had pain relief - I had to go through it all naturally!'.
Since I've had my own two children, I can pinpoint that particular and quite unique type of pain to those really bad labour pains you have right near transition, so it was definitely sympathy pains and not a bad chicken salad the night before...
Not something I'd like to experience again!
Reply
10-29-2008 @ 1:15PM
c_rousseau05 said...My husband had some sympathy symptoms like feeling nausea, gaining a bit of weight (even though his diet never changed and he has always been fit), and even had "cravings". I guess it doesn't matter if it's all in the head or not, it happens. It could be stress or my heightened hormones affecting him, I don't really know, but after the birth of our daughter he returned to normal. I've heard that men who get sympathy symptoms while their partner is pregnant can be representative of the closeness he feels toward her. To be honest I took his sympathy symptoms as a huge compliment and it made me feel more loved in a time whenI really needed that boost. Men can even go through PPD, which makes me feel that they are mentally and physically just as involved in the pregnancy and birthing process as we women are, even if it's just in their heads.
Reply
11-21-2008 @ 3:40AM
Stephen said...Hi
My wife is 13weeks now and I have started feeling nausea for the past week. I have no idea what is going on, I'm trying to find any excuse for the nausea but have had no luck!!!!