How to Survive a Holiday Party

Whether you like it or not, we've arrived at the season set aside for far-off family, long lost friends, and everyone else you'd rather not see on a regular basis -- hooray for the holidays! Some of these soirees are once-a-year opportunities to touch base with loved ones and share some good cheer -- and others feel like incredibly painful skiing accidents happening in slow motion. Avoid social catastrophe with a few easy tips.

Getty Images

Don't get drunk. You sound dumb, you act dumb, and you're twice as likely to hit on your brother's smokin' hot wife in a totally inappropriate way. You see these people once a year, at least let them see you sober.

Getty Images

If you must talk politics, keep it general. Whether you hope Barack Obama is the world's savior, or you're pulling for President Palin in 2012, you're asking for a fight when the party gets partisan. Stick to discussing the "historical significance" of this election (or something equally as benign), and leave the policy debate for some other time.

Getty Images

Stop showing off. It's great that your breast augmentation surgery was so successful, and totally understandable that you want to flaunt your hot new bod -- but now is not the time, so put that cleavage away! Nor is this appropriate occasion for your fancy new $10,000 watch (unless your friends and family are all really loaded). Everyone wants to impress their relatives, but dressing too sexy or flashy will only remind your loved ones that you can be self-centered, irritating and tacky.

Getty Images

Keep your hands to yourself. We're all delighted that things are so hot and heavy between you and your significant other. But seriously, no one wants to watch you tongue wrestle in public. And if you want the fam to warm up to your new beau, play it safe and maintain at least a moderate level of decorum.

Getty Images

Show up. Trying as they may be, you see these people once a year, and you love them. Don't make excuses, don't wander in "fashionably late" or rush off to some other party. Get there on time, stay until the end, and enjoy yourself.

Getty Images

Quit complaining. There's nothing that kills a party faster than someone whose life sucks. Admit it: Sometimes good things to happen to you. If you can't focus on the positive, at least try to keep quiet.

Getty Images

Don't grill the newbies. Your neice's new boyfriend doesn't need to be interrogated -- particularly about his background. So remember: Even if you're simply curious about the origin of his "ethnic-sounding" name, you might make him uncomfortable (and will probably sound a little racist).

Getty Images

Avoid, at all costs, commenting on other people's kids. Yes, they look funny. Sure, they're getting fat. And behind closed doors everyone agrees that little Susie is an obnoxious, insufferable brat. But any parent will immediately begin plotting your demise the moment you criticize their child. Fawn over their cuteness (even if you're lying) and be done with it.

Getty Images

Take a break from obsessing over your diet. No-carb, low-fat, vegan, macrobiotic, lacto-ovo-semi-demi-blah-blah-blah. You're a guest, and it won't kill you to eat a couple slices of cheese. (Or if it bothers you that much, snack before the party -- the world doesn't revolve around your dietary restrictions.)

Getty Images