I think this spills over to body image as well. I know we talk a lot about the negative effects of overly skinny models, etc. but in reality, most teens I see are over weight and don't seem to know it. They still wear belly baring shirts and low rise pants despite their stomachs pouring out

I know when I was in high school I would have been horrified. Same thing with them wearing two piece bathings suits. It is like they don't know they are too heavy.

I guess confidence is good. I do know a couple people that I think are totally succesful pretty much only because they BELIEVED they would be despite not really having all that much going for them.

But I refuse to purchase anything with princess on it.

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I always hear so much talk about teenagers lack of self confidence, especially when it comes to girls, so I guess it's better to see them being over confident than lacking in confidence. Hopefully though it won't diminish their drive to succeed. I recently introduced a blog at http://www.shortcutsleuth.com and I discuss teen issues and have found your site to be full of great information. Thanks!

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I, for one, would much rather teach my girls that they are beautiful, amazing and can do anything, than teach them they're average, so-so and can only do some things so they're not disappointed in the future.

Think about it, if someone told you you're probably going to lose at something, how hard would you try? What if someone told you you're going to do an awesome job instead?

I'm all for calling my girls princesses.

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Tip:

Unless you're a teenager, don't write things about teenagers.

Like you know what it's like to be a teen these days.

We can believe what we want. We should aim high, believe in ourselves. We are confident that we can achieve our goals.

Now, I understand what you mean. Many kids today just expect to have perfect lives. Many kids are born with silver spoons in their mouths.

But most of us--us normal ones, the ones who don't have 4 Lexus' and live in 3 story houses, the ones living without electricity, or air-conditioning, the ones who don't have a car, the ones who have to WORK--well, we need to believe. Its all that we have.

We WILL do well, we have to, to be accomplished.

What gets me through is knowing I never want my kids to go through what I do. And I will do well in life because of that.

There's a difference between being self-confident and in over your head. Kids today are corrupt, because they're parents baby them. Then the kids have no idea what tehy're getting themselves into when they become an adult.

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Another thing, alot of the clothing for babies (especially boys) here in Australia say things like 'Little Monster'. I'd much rather be saying something positive over my child (i.e Little Princess).

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Here's a reality check folks. I'm a college professor and these kids are not any more capable than previous generations regardless of what the IQ tests say. I'm faced with this sense of entitlement that kids bring to class every day (and there is research to back this claim up). Freshmen think that they deserve B's and A's because they show up to class and take notes. They think they deserve higher grades because they spent a specific period of time on an assignment regardless of how well they actually executed the assignment, and they think exams are WAY too hard because they never got such a low grade before and they spent "SO much time studying for the exam." The number of whining kids in my office after the first exam or two who try to convince me that they "deserve" a higher grade than the one they earned is increasing every year.

I'm not suggesting that parents shouldn't try and instill a sense of confidence in their kids. That is definitely part of the job description and I hope I'm doing a decent job at it myself for my own daughter. However, it is not the job of educators and that is where mistakes have been made.

My own parents recently shipped me a box of things they had saved from my high school years and I dug out a series of papers I wrote as a senior in high school. My teachers made me rewrite essays and term papers that I would be thrilled to get from my current college students and these are papers for which I never earned an A grade. There is a difference between teaching a student that they can achieve anything if they work to improve and teaching a student that they are already capable of doing work that they clearly are not. As a result of their previous experience, they have an eye opening experience when they walk into my classroom and the disillusionment is completely unnecessary. Just teach these kids that they can ALWAYS improve academically and that this improvement takes a lifetime. Then they might actually achieve at the levels they think they should because they will be prepared to work harder when faced with a challenge. Because you all do not teach your kids these things, it falls to me to try and help them to accept this reality over the distorted version of the truth with which they come to college.

Autumn, I understand your frustration at this discussion as it sounds like we are lumping your entire generation into one big messy group. There are always exceptions to the rule and unfortunately what educators are discovering is that those students who recognize that achievement takes hard work are becoming more of the exception. Students come to my office for help and I give it freely. I regularly help students find new ways to study and to develop realistic goals for how much time they have to put into a challenging college course. There are students who take my advice to heart (unfortunately many of them only after they can do little to improve their grade) and there are many who do not. Quite literally there are students who have become so indoctrinated in their sense of self-entitlement that they cannot believe me when I try to help them. These are not kids born with a silver spoon in their mouths, just ones who were educated in a crummy school system where everyone was "special and gifted."

I believe most of my students can do quite well in my classes, the reality is that very few of them are willing to put in the work necessary to succeed. Sometimes it is because they face the very situation you do and they have too many obligations (such as working full time just to pay rent and feed themselves) to devote enough time to their studies. This may not be you. If not, you are going to do well compared to your peers.

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I spend allot of time with the teens of my church & believe me its really hard being around people who think, they know it all. One of them thought it was ok to blow up my spot in front of his peers. Boy was he wrong. It was not that he tride to correct me in front of eveybody, but that he did it in public. The fact that his tone was off base, didnt help either. Pull me to the side & talk to me. We can work something out. Don't out me in front of everbody and expect me to respect you.
Lets just say that what happened next, he was NOT ready for.
Earn your stripes, then I will call you =. PEACE

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