Outgrowing the Kids' Table
Categories: Kids 5-7, Kids 8-11, Teens & tweens, Holidays, Eating & nutrition, Mealtime
I'm sure you remember as a kid sitting with all your sisters, brothers, and/or cousins at the kids table for your holiday meal. Most kids were fine with it, especially if it was, say, Thanksgiving dinner, Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve when they had to be on their best behavior--you know how those last impressions are with Santa. Really, though, everyone wanted to sit with the adults, as it was believed adults had better or different food. Plus there was all that mystique about adult conversations that made them seem so cool! Eventually, the kids got big enough to move to the adult table, but when?
I don't actually remember a transition from the kids table to the adult table in my family. Mainly, that's because the families all moved away or got divorced or whatever and there was really only one kid left--me! Also, TV trays are big on both sides of my family as there are just so darned many of us--it makes eating a lot easier than trying to cram everyone around one giant table. In other families, I've heard the kids get to move up once they become teens. People became teens when I was a kid, there was no tween phase. So, now, perhaps once one becomes a tween one gets to move up. In my husband's family, kids didn't graduate to the adult table unless an opening occurred because, as he put it, "someone moved away or someone died."
Possibly kids should get to sit at the adult table when they know what it is their parents are actually talking about. Perhaps they get to join in when they choose to eat all their vegetables--that seems pretty grown up, right? Well, I'll say one thing for moving up to the adult table--it's BORING! Sure, it may seem like a good idea to get away from all the baby talk from the younger kids, but once you do you'll miss it forever--and there's no going back, is there? Adults are so darned serious! At least the kids can talk about whatever they want and choose to eat (or not eat) what's on the plate and, you know, just continue being a kid at the kids table.
When did you move up to the adult table? What about your kids? Or did you all always eat together?
Recent Posts
- Weekend Fun and Games (7/03/2009)
- Kids and Extracurriculars - When Do You Let Them Quit? (7/03/2009)
- Twitter Follow Friday on ParentDish! (7/03/2009)
- Lush Lashes (7/03/2009)
- Abigail Breslin Makes $13 a Week (7/03/2009)
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Karen 11-17-2008 @ 10:36AM
Our family gatherings tend to be small, so my children have always sat at the table with us. Because of this, they are very well behaved and no know their manners.
To me a kids table was always if there was a numbers issue. Unless they are very, very, young and incapable of sitting for an entire Thankgiving meal, I don't see any reason to exclude them.
Thanksgiving dinner doesn't tend to be discussion about the financial crisis, etc. In fact, it seems conversations would be geared to what people are thankful for.
Reply
Maria 11-17-2008 @ 11:52AM
My favorite memories of the "Kids' table" are actually from my teens and early twenties - the seven grandchildren were all very close and we liked sitting together, being goofy and immature, making fun of each other and our parents, reliving favorite childhood moments and making lots of noise or the porch while the "grownups" discussed more serious topics in the dining room. Others werewelcome to join us (my bachelor uncle sometimes did) but for the most part they weren't interested in our absurdity. I guess we gave all that up when the generations switched over - people started getting married, having their own kids, we lost some older relatives, and we don't all get to be together at holidays anymore....there are too many inlaw families and too much geography. I miss that kids table!
Reply
Maria 11-17-2008 @ 11:59AM
PS we use kid tables with the new generation of little ones now mostly as overflow seating, although to be honest I don't find that small children have much offer to the conversation, and I don't see the sense in making them sit beyond the point they are capable. To be honest, we even sometimes feed the littlest ones a little earlier if their schedule is not in sync with the grownups on a day when there is a lot going on (holiday,etc.). Our children are required to eat, be polite, speak to their relatives a little bit, and when they have done their duty, they're excused to play until dessert. However, my five year old daughter from about 4.5 yrs elected to stay at the table without any prodding - she likes to chat and share stories, and at her age she's able to more fully appreciate joining in the lingering and conversation that follows the eating at holiday dinner.
pbhj 11-17-2008 @ 1:13PM
>>> TV trays are big on both sides of my family as there are just so darned many of us--it makes eating a lot easier than trying to cram everyone around one giant table.
Wow, how many of you are there. We have a small terraced house and can seat 12 adults for a 3 course meal (dining table + computer desk). In a modest sized cottage a couple years ago we had 17 (including 5 kids, 3 in high chairs) around the table (dining table + patio table), very comfortably, for Christmas dinner - we had to use next doors oven though.
Of course you may have other reasons to use trays ...?
I can't conceive a house where the oven is big enough to feed more than can sit around a "table".
Reply
Heather 11-17-2008 @ 7:28PM
I just wanted to say that some families simply out grow their location. I figured today that we have approximately 30 people who come to the holidays. There used to be about 15. Some people don't live in homes that can fit large tables for large groups of people, so you just have to make due with laps and trays. Heck, we don't even have enough chairs for everyone. Most sit on the floor.
pbhj 11-18-2008 @ 4:35AM
But how do you cook a celebration meal, or is it always buffet?
Traditional Christmas dinner here is starters; turkey and potatoes, 2 or 3 veg, sausage and bacon, stuffing; pudding.
I can't imagine the size of oven you need to do turkey dinner for 30 ... or do you just forgo a big plated meal in favour of buffet and a place on the floor with family.
Either is nice but for Christmas I'd go for a few less people and a seat at a table, then meet up later.
Heather 11-18-2008 @ 5:20PM
We NEVER have a sit down. It has always been a buffet. First course is turkey, stuffing, deviled eggs, and whatever else (until the plate overflowith). Second course is dessert (if there is room in the already full belly...if not wait a few and try again lol)
I guess I would rather spend time with the 4 generations under 1 roof and enjoy EVERYONES company, than a uptight sit down. Btw, move your feet, lose your seat (except grandma who is 83).
Jenni 11-17-2008 @ 3:22PM
If we were at my aunts house, everyone sat at the table and two random people (adults and kids alike) sat at the barstools at the counter. These two seats were often fought over by the kids because they were a fun different place.
If we were at our house, we all sat in the living room using tv trays, coffee tables, laps, floors, whatever. There were always more people there because so many of us lived in that area (the years at the aunt's were limited in the number of people because it meant extensive travel).
It was pretty much every other year at each place so we never really had a kid table.
We did, however, have kid dish washers! And plenty of them. I'm surprised we never broke any of the good china.
We probably could have all fit around the table, but it was usually so overflowing with food (pot luck style) that there wasn't space for plates and service.
I liked it this way. It made everything so much more fun and relaxed. This year, as our family now includes 4 generations of families, we are renting a community room and probably will just sit wherever anyone ends up.
Reply
Heather 11-17-2008 @ 7:30PM
As a side note, who eats a full 3 course meal for a holiday?
In our family, everyone brings a goodie and it is a free-for-all buffet.
We are thankful if there are enough deviled eggs to go around! LOL
Reply