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Should Presents Be a Surprise?
Filed under: Holidays
Whilst trapped in traffic the other day I overheard a debate over whether or not holiday presents should be a surprise. On one side, the argument was that Christmas, for example, is all about the surprise and the thought that counts in getting a gift for someone. The other side argues that if the person knows what she is getting (and presumably it is something she wants) then she'll be happier. When I was a kid I gave a list to Santa and hoped that I would get some of the things on the list. Adults--parents--don't do this. In my experience the situation ranges from handing the spouse or significant other a list of wants to actually going out, buying your present yourself, wrapping it and putting it under the tree, then opening it on Christmas day. Not really much surprise in that at all. What's worse is not even waiting 'til the holiday arrives to wear or use the item. What's even worse than that is buying something for yourself, wearing it or using it and then telling your spouse or S.O. that he or she bought this for you for Christmas. Seriously, I've seen it done.
One piece of the argument for knowing is that by the time Christmas roles around you'll have forgotten what whatever it was you know you got looked like and it will be a surprise anyway. Also, if you know what you're getting but you don't wrap it yourself, you may not be able to tell which package it's in as it nestles under the tree with the others. Finally, getting what you want rather than leaving it up to the sensibilities of your loved ones saves you the time and hassle of having to stand in the returns line.
The argument for not knowing is equally strong. As parents, there's not much surprise in anything we open, with the occasional exception of a diaper. It's also nice to think your spouse or S.O. knows you well enough to be able to pick something out for you. Finally, shouldn't we be thankful we're fortunate enough to receive anything at all? Miss Manners would have a heart attack if she overheard such a debate!
What do you think? Should parents know in advance what they're getting or leave it up to luck and fate...and Christmas spirit?
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
12-01-2008 @ 3:52PM
Jenni said...We always made a list and gave it to our parents. We never got everything on that list and, in reality, it was a suprise because it was never garunteed that we would get what was nmber one on the list. I'm 31 and my parents still ask me for a list for birthdays and christmas. As a child, it was a surprise what we would actually get. As an adult, I give her a list of 2-3 items that I would like, tell her which one would be best, but then she has something to fall back on if she can't find the top item. I don't tell her exactly what to get, just the name of an item (i.e. a digital picture frame) there are so many different kinds, she can choose which one.
However, as an adult, I never give a list to anyone but my parents. I like opening presents from my husband because he KNOWS what to get me. He never asks, I never tell, and I always love it! I have on one occasion told him specifically what I wanted and he has gotten it, but then he just gets it as a "here you go" not a present. Still a surprise, but still fun.
I can see the use of a list, but I actually prefer the surprise and the "thought that counts" part of it best.
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12-01-2008 @ 4:28PM
Nicola said...My husband says, "What do you want for Christmas?" and expects a very direct answer. He does not keep the gift a secret and most often does not even wrap it. He took the cake this year when I gave him my one big Christmas gift wish -- he said, "Since you're going to that store anyway, you may as well pick it up on your card and get the airmiles. I'll write you a check for it.". I'm not kidding. And that's what I did. So, I'm getting a new camera for Christmas. And I bought it! He's so romantic...
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12-01-2008 @ 10:19PM
ninainindia said...I like the surprise but I always dread opening a present and not liking it. Although I believe in it's the thought that counts, if you open something that is truly tacky or ugly my face sometimes can't help but show my opinion.....
But surprise is still the best, especially if it something toughtful. I like small presents the best that show someone really knows you.
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12-02-2008 @ 10:24AM
Jasileet said...What's worse? Really... it's not that big of a deal. If you -need- to be surprised then maybe you ought to grow up a little. We don't do gifts among adults here aside from small "Thank You"s and hostess gifts. When you set up ridiculous expectations on a gift, "It must be thoughtful, it must represent who I am, blah blah" you're really being a nuisance to others. They're just not fessing up.
If the season is about giving try anonymous gifts and charity. Or just keep it for the kids.
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