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Does Your Husband Help Out at Home?

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rachel campos-duffy

As some of you may know, I am currently writing a book about at-home motherhood, due out in September. The book is a celebration of the evolution of the SAHM experience and offers tips and advice on how to make the most of it! In the book, I cite the often-unheralded contributions of Gen X men, the first generation of husbands to truly partner with their wives and share in the workload at home.

Naturally, innate gender differences will always account for some disparities (i.e. my husband cleans the kitchen and bathes the kids, but he'll never clean out the kitchen sink or remember to pick up the towels and mats after a bath). However, by and large, husbands under the age of 40 are an agreeable bunch who believes in the equality of the sexes and an equitable division of labor in the home.

I am forever thankful that my husband is the kind of guy who will help out and appreciates a list (since, as he reminds me, he cannot read my mind). And while he may not always do certain tasks the way I do, so what! I could never chop wood or hang the Christmas lights as well as he does. I know he tries his best and does not think that it is "women's work" or beneath him to do household chores.

Sadly, there are exceptions, and the wives of those men need advice on how to enlighten and encourage their husbands to pitch in. I think a heart felt discussion is a great way to start. So is a list! However, if your husband isn't pitching in, it's possible that he has no idea (or appreciation) for the things you do to run your household smoothly. In that case, you need to switch roles! Get out of the house (without the kids!) and let him figure it out.

Discussions about who does what household chore are a huge marital buzz kill - right up there with taxes and hammering out the family budget - but figuring out a fair and equitable agreement will improve communication, decrease resentment and make your marriage and family a whole lot stronger!

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AdviceMama Says:
Start by teaching him that it is safe to do so.