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Filed under: Medical Conditions
A friend texted me the other day: "I spend my days taking care of everyone and everything," she said. "But who takes care of me?"
It's a modern mom's lament. And it's more serious than a pity-party. Consider these statistics from Working Mother:
What I've discovered about myself as a parent is that I'm more likely now than in my pre-kid days to compartmentalize feelings. If I don't have time for negative feelings, I put them away for a later date, but sometimes, they never get dealt with. And that can add up.
Part of the problem, says Working Mother, is that depression still carries a stigma. Women feel like there's something wrong with them if they can't manage their life, especially if that life is full of everything they ever wanted. But depression is a disease just like asthma or diabetes. Untreated depression can cause worsening emotional and physical symptoms. A doctor friend of mine says that she and her partners see 3-4 cases of depression and/or anxiety a day ... each. "It's very common," she says, "But it can be treated."
If you're not sure if you're just stressed out or depressed, take this quiz and read over the Defining Depression fact sheet. Then take your answers to your doctor to find out if counseling or medication could help you.
Have you been affected by depression since becoming a parent? And if so, what do you think contributes most to your symptoms?
It's a modern mom's lament. And it's more serious than a pity-party. Consider these statistics from Working Mother:
- 91% of working women surveyed said they had signs of depression.
- One in five working women will experience depression in their lifetime.
- Women are at twice the risk of developing depression as men.
- More than a third of women of childbearing age exhibit symptoms.
- But, only 40% of women with depression seek help.
What I've discovered about myself as a parent is that I'm more likely now than in my pre-kid days to compartmentalize feelings. If I don't have time for negative feelings, I put them away for a later date, but sometimes, they never get dealt with. And that can add up.
Part of the problem, says Working Mother, is that depression still carries a stigma. Women feel like there's something wrong with them if they can't manage their life, especially if that life is full of everything they ever wanted. But depression is a disease just like asthma or diabetes. Untreated depression can cause worsening emotional and physical symptoms. A doctor friend of mine says that she and her partners see 3-4 cases of depression and/or anxiety a day ... each. "It's very common," she says, "But it can be treated."
If you're not sure if you're just stressed out or depressed, take this quiz and read over the Defining Depression fact sheet. Then take your answers to your doctor to find out if counseling or medication could help you.
Have you been affected by depression since becoming a parent? And if so, what do you think contributes most to your symptoms?
| I go to counseling. | |
|---|---|
| I use or have used medication. | |
| I try to make lifestyle changes, such as delegating responsibility and exercising. | |
| I just try to ride out the symptoms. |
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
12-03-2008 @ 2:24PM
pantrygirl said...I just went back to work this week. This is not what I wanted to hear but I do agree that I find myself saying, "I take care of everyone. Who takes care of me?"
Reply
12-03-2008 @ 2:34PM
Nicola said...I feel overstressed, overtired, overworked, and very under appreciated, that's for sure! I work full time, mother full time, volunteer all over the place, and generally never stop going. Doing for others. What surprised me is that I took the quiz linked above and it said that I scored as "moderate/severe depression". I never would have considered myself depressed, just stressed out and overrun! Interesting. But I still don't feed depressed :-)
Reply
12-03-2008 @ 3:18PM
Nicola said...And that should be, "don't FEEL depressed". Obviously.
12-03-2008 @ 4:33PM
queenoqueens said...I'm guessing that non-working women get depressed as well, but perhaps for different reasons.
The truth of the matter is that alot of stuff goes untreated because it's just too expensive and time consuming to treat it.
But I can see how becoming a parent depresses you. It smacks you right across the face with reality in a way that is much easier to deny when you're not a parent. And on top of that, you have less time, money and general resources to help cope after you become a parent.
Reply
12-08-2008 @ 8:24PM
divina said...For me, it was going back to work that really snapped me out of my PPD. I got back into my routine, was solving problems at work all day and then coming home and relaxing and enjoying the time with my baby. By the end of my maternity leave, I really didn't know what to do with myself. Going back to work cemented my identity not just as a mother, but as so much more, and now I enjoy my life more than I ever have in my life.
Reply
4-03-2011 @ 12:53PM
Anonamom said...I definately fit this catagory. I work full time as a teacher, I have a 2 year old, and I am expecting another daughter in August.
As I write this I am so depressed, my depression has depression.
I may be a teacher, wife and mother, but I feel that I cannot do any of those things well. Instead I excel at being tired and irritated.
As a working mother with a husband who is in school and works nights and weekends, I don't fit anywhere. I can't go to mommy groups because I work when they happen.
They don't have mommy groups at night, because those moms are with their families.
I've tried church, but since my husband works Sunday Morning, married groups are awkward, and of course I'm not a single mom, college student, or anything else.
I was so happy about my second child coming until it started to hit me that I was going to have a two kids, one a newborn, while being the primary bread winner, and even more isolated and alone than with my first child.
Medications are not an option since I'm pregnant and since I can't risk having wacky side effects while working.
Reply