Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa School!
Filed under: Opinions
When I was a kid my Uncle Bob, who lived down the street, used to dress up like Santa Claus and visit our house Christmas Eve to deliver presents. He was pretty convincing, I must admit, in his Santa suit, beard and bag of presents (it was actually a big black garbage bag, but I was never one to quibble). Who knows how that sweet guy managed it, but he made me a believer. For those of us without that certain something, however, we can always attend Santa School.
What kinds of things could they possibly teach us about being better Santas? Well, for starters, apparently it's all about the details. Sure, everyone has the requisite red suit and white beard. Many of us sadly also sport that paunchy belly that belies one too many snacks of cookies and milk. According to those in the know at the "How to Be Father Christmas" school in London, things like jewelry and socks/shoes are dead giveaways to youngsters whose beliefs in a jolly old--OK, fat--elf wearing what amounts to a red leisure suit who keeps deer for pets are shaky at best.
Other suggestions include masking yourself with glasses and a white wig as well as changing the way you walk and talk. More tips like this can be yours, but you'll have to fly across the pond to get them. I assume somewhere in the States we have a Santa School too, but I haven't heard about it. The school also offers questions to the myriad uncomfortable questions kids ask their parents about Santa, like why the Santas at the mall look different. That's a good one--I was always told those mall Santas were Mr. Claus' helpers!
Do you have any tips for making a convincing Santa???