Did Your Parents Become the Grandparents You Thought They'd Be?
Filed under: Relatives
For most of us, there was a point at which it was hard for us to imagine ourselves as parents. And, possibly, in the farthest recesses of our minds, it was even harder for us to imagine our own parents as grandparents. Inevitably, as we became more comfortable with the idea of a family, generally when those of us who are gals became pregnant, so too we started thinking about our moms and dads and grandmas and grandpas. But, what kind of grandparents did you think your parents would turn out to be? What about your spouse/partner's parents? Most of us, I'd wager, thought our parents would be the same kind of grandparents that our own grandparents were. Images of cookie baking and learning to drive pop into mind. Chances are, though, that your parents surprised you when they became grandparents.
Some grandparents are great--they're there when you need them and love your child unconditionally, letting you and your spouse/partner decide how to raise your children. You call or see them frequently, share an occasional meal, let the kids spend the night or the weekend, and accept that fact that what happens at grandma's stays at grandma's. Contraband candy, ice cream, cookies, getting to watch TV, staying up late--all of this will happen. Then there's the other kind of grandparent, the one that is always there, even when you specifically asked him/her not to be there, doesn't listen to your requests and ignores your decisions. They raised you--or your significant other--and darnit they know better than you!
Most grandparents, I guess, would fall somewhere in between. And for those grandparents who think they know best, well, perhaps they do. We as new parents are just beginning to understand what it was like for them raising us; honestly, we'll never really know fully what it was like as the times have changed, the world has modernized, and we think because we have the Internet and other technology that we know everything. Heck, all my mom had was the Dr. Spock book, and by golly it was all she needed--me, too, frankly. In reality, raising kids is a crap shoot. We should be thankful we have the grandparents there to help or listen or just stop by with (in my mind) a freshly baked blackberry cobbler. Or to tell us how we're changing that diaper wrong and that if we don't burp the baby she'll get colic or that we really ought to get a housekeeper....
What about you? Did your parents surprise you in how they acted once they became grandparents?












ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
12-11-2008 @ 10:13AM
Catherine said...Well, I'm not a mom yet (due in June), but based on how my parents reacted when we told them we were pregnant, I'm not anticipating my parents being the warm & cuddly type of grandparents... My mom's reaction? "Oh NO! I was feeling old & haggard enough as it is! Are you HAPPY?"
Nope, somehow I don't see her offering to have the kids sleep over at her house...
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12-11-2008 @ 11:00AM
2Joys said...No. My parents are way more hands off than I thought they would be. Their idea of grandparenting is spoiling them rotten with gifts and parking the kids in front of the tv all day. They think it is funny to give a baby soda and let little kids watch shows that are not appropriate for their age. They would rather have the kids entertain them rather than interact with the kids through play. They visit much less than I thought they would and don't seem to make the most of their time with the kids when we visit. Although I shouldn't be by this point, I am always surprised by how their grandparent. My mom plays favorites and makes it very obvious that my brother's daughter is "Grandma's Girl and My Special One." My dad tries every chance he gets to drive my kids (toddler & preschooler) around without a car seat, putting them at risk & starting a huge argument with me. It has taught me a lot about the kind of grandparent I want to be someday.
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12-11-2008 @ 1:33PM
Rachel said...They weren't interested in being parents. They're not interested in being grandparents. I hoped for better but.....I'm not surprised.
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12-11-2008 @ 4:24PM
ame s said...I have young parents. Mom was 19, Dad was 4 days short of being 18 when I was born. They've always been great parents. I knew they would be wonderful grandparents.
I was 30 and 32 when my daughters were born. My parents took turns staying in the labor room with me and my late-husband until "pushing time". I had to have an emergency C-section with my first daughter. When the nurse went to the waiting room to tell them I was in recovery, my Dad just took off, leaving Mom to tote the multiple bags of stuff dad insisted on bringing. Between hubby and Mom, I didn't change daughter-the-first's diaper until she had been home for a week.
When daughter-the-second was born, 1st daughter had the flu, and the hubby had the flu and pneumonia. Mom stayed for the first week. I came down with an ugly UTI, and Mom came back for another two weeks.
My girls love spending the night with my parents. They live 5 minutes away now and I feel so blessed to have them so close.
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1-08-2009 @ 8:07PM
lakart said...No, not at all. They play favorites. Punish some more than others. Let them eat and drink whatever as well as watch tv and movies that they shouldn't. Christmas and Birthday's is when you notice it the most. They forgot a birthday then turn around and spoil the favorite. We don't miss them.
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2-13-2009 @ 6:05PM
youngflyandfilthy said...I can’t wait tile March Madness tourment. There is a party going on at some agency. I know my wife is going to wear a Cashmere sweater.
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