Duggar Family - How They Do It
Categories: Love & sex, Celeb parenting, In the news
How does a couple with 17 kids even find time to get started on #18?
"We try to be creative and different, and that can add a spark to the relationship," said Michelle Duggar, who is in fact expecting her next addition on New Year's Day. Michelle and her husband Jim Bob are shooting the second season of "The Duggar Family: 17 and Counting." ParentDish caught up with the couple on a rare afternoon off.
They wouldn't talk about the new baby girl's name (Hint: It starts with the letter J, is the result of a family vote and, no, they won't say.) But they are ready to share the secrets to their success as a family and as a couple. How do they, ya know, keep the home fire burning?
"The spark stays because we purpose to keep that spark," said Michelle.
"We want to please the other one," said Jim Bob.
That includes all the hidden love notes Jim Bob leaves for Michelle in her makeup bag and the daily morning cup of coffee or cocoa she serves him. Jim Bob complimented Michelle. "Her soft voice and sweet spirit melts my heart. And she looks really cute when she's pregnant."
Good thing, because Michelle has been pregnant for some 135 months over 24 years of marriage. "Things get busy and exhausting when providing for a family," said Michelle. "Having sex when I'm pregnant, I'm a little more tired." When Jim Bob and Michelle hear that a pastor in Texas recently challenged the marrieds in his congregation to have sex daily, they're genuinely tickled.
"Good advice," laughed Jim Bob.
That's a joke, sort of. Because, if anything, the Duggars are certainly best known not for their romps but the romper rooms in their 7,000 square-foot home, where the kids are home schooled, have "jurisdiction-style" chores and are fully committed to an evangelical Christian lifestyle. Sharing is big; the word "mine" is not. Their teens pledge "TLW" -- true love waits. "The girls love the idea of courtship and saving themselves for the one that God made for them," said Michelle.
Another aspect of their lives that feels just short of a miracle is how darn nice everyone is to one another. How do they do it? The answer, in part, can be found in their new book, appropriately titled, "The Duggars: 20 and Counting!: Raising One of America's Largest Families--How They Do It."
"We're not professional parents," said Jim Bob.
"We're still learning," agreed Michelle.
"With each child it's a whole new ballgame," he said
"Because each one is so different," she finished.
That's 18 ballgames for one family with enough children for two baseball teams.
It's not always easy, admitted Michelle. "Right now I've got a lot of little boys who fight or argue with each other. Every 30 minutes there's a major crisis over an owee or a toy. But I don't get involved. They learn to work it out themselves."
Some critics question the Duggar's ability to give each child enough individual attention and love. Michelle countered, "Our goal as parents is to keep up with their hearts, not just their actions. They know they have a safe place to share their joys, failures and dreams." For the record, that is my goal as a parent, too.
It seems to me that this kind of nurturing/removed split is the only way the Duggars could possibly manage the demands of 17 kids -- plus. Between filling hungry tummies and all the goodnight kisses, I just don't see any other way to get by. And that's the attraction and fascination of the Duggars. This unrepentantly prolific couple is "blessed" with a disproportionate amount of children while the rest of us wonder, "Why?" "How?" and "What would I do?"
"We try to be creative and different, and that can add a spark to the relationship," said Michelle Duggar, who is in fact expecting her next addition on New Year's Day. Michelle and her husband Jim Bob are shooting the second season of "The Duggar Family: 17 and Counting." ParentDish caught up with the couple on a rare afternoon off.
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AP | Getty Images | FilmMagic | Getty Images
Michelle Duggar
Beth Hall, AP
Amy Roloff
Thos Robinson, Getty Images
Kate Gosselin
Amy Sussman, Getty Images
Denise Richards
Jason LaVeris, FilmMagic
NeNe Leakes
Bravo
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TK
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Renee Wilson
Appeared on "The Biggest Loser" with daughter Michelle Aguilar. Renee, 47, lost 45 pounds in seven weeks. "She was the quintessential yo-yo dieter," Michelle, 27, told "Prevention."
Trae Patton, NBC Photo
Justine Simmons
Paul Warner, Getty Images
They wouldn't talk about the new baby girl's name (Hint: It starts with the letter J, is the result of a family vote and, no, they won't say.) But they are ready to share the secrets to their success as a family and as a couple. How do they, ya know, keep the home fire burning?
"The spark stays because we purpose to keep that spark," said Michelle.
"We want to please the other one," said Jim Bob.
That includes all the hidden love notes Jim Bob leaves for Michelle in her makeup bag and the daily morning cup of coffee or cocoa she serves him. Jim Bob complimented Michelle. "Her soft voice and sweet spirit melts my heart. And she looks really cute when she's pregnant."
Good thing, because Michelle has been pregnant for some 135 months over 24 years of marriage. "Things get busy and exhausting when providing for a family," said Michelle. "Having sex when I'm pregnant, I'm a little more tired." When Jim Bob and Michelle hear that a pastor in Texas recently challenged the marrieds in his congregation to have sex daily, they're genuinely tickled.
"Good advice," laughed Jim Bob.
That's a joke, sort of. Because, if anything, the Duggars are certainly best known not for their romps but the romper rooms in their 7,000 square-foot home, where the kids are home schooled, have "jurisdiction-style" chores and are fully committed to an evangelical Christian lifestyle. Sharing is big; the word "mine" is not. Their teens pledge "TLW" -- true love waits. "The girls love the idea of courtship and saving themselves for the one that God made for them," said Michelle.
Another aspect of their lives that feels just short of a miracle is how darn nice everyone is to one another. How do they do it? The answer, in part, can be found in their new book, appropriately titled, "The Duggars: 20 and Counting!: Raising One of America's Largest Families--How They Do It."
"We're not professional parents," said Jim Bob.
"We're still learning," agreed Michelle.
"With each child it's a whole new ballgame," he said
"Because each one is so different," she finished.
That's 18 ballgames for one family with enough children for two baseball teams.
It's not always easy, admitted Michelle. "Right now I've got a lot of little boys who fight or argue with each other. Every 30 minutes there's a major crisis over an owee or a toy. But I don't get involved. They learn to work it out themselves."
Some critics question the Duggar's ability to give each child enough individual attention and love. Michelle countered, "Our goal as parents is to keep up with their hearts, not just their actions. They know they have a safe place to share their joys, failures and dreams." For the record, that is my goal as a parent, too.
It seems to me that this kind of nurturing/removed split is the only way the Duggars could possibly manage the demands of 17 kids -- plus. Between filling hungry tummies and all the goodnight kisses, I just don't see any other way to get by. And that's the attraction and fascination of the Duggars. This unrepentantly prolific couple is "blessed" with a disproportionate amount of children while the rest of us wonder, "Why?" "How?" and "What would I do?"
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 27)
Karen 12-11-2008 @ 4:20PM
They get a lot of criticism, but I think they do a great job.
Reply
NJ gal 12-11-2008 @ 10:51PM
Ot will be the Duggar children who you will never see on the pole. They are doing a great job. More power to them!!
MJ 12-12-2008 @ 1:46AM
I am a 62 year old mother, grandmother and great grandmother that would love to be able to spend some time with this wonderful family. I had a yours, mine and ours family, but never could have been as patient and kind to my family as this man and woman are to their wondeful family. Everytime I see a documentary on this family, I am in total awe. After watching their family I have such feelings of love and peacefulness. The families behavior and cooperation makes me wish that my children (even now) could behave in such a wonderful, easy manner. Bless them all. mg
K 12-12-2008 @ 10:38PM
What upsets me about this family is that none of their children seem to show any interest in going to college or advancing their education or their lives in any way. It seems they are being brought up to be married by age 20, have children immediately, and stay inside their little circle of Evangelical-ism.
None of the kids want to grow up to be doctors, lawyers, scientists, or ANYTHING (even if they say they dreamed of being a cashier when they grew up- at least that's something). They don't show an interest in anything but the Bible, marriage, and children. They don't want to change the world some day. They have no dreams.
I think that's sad. And when they grow up, they will become nothing but a waste of space and energy.
sean 12-12-2008 @ 10:57PM
Today I saw something that really hurts.. I want to cry.
Sherry Lee 12-13-2008 @ 1:52AM
hey they love kids. It's their business if they want to have that many. If they love each other, provide a roof, love safety, education and values more power to them.
Fran 12-12-2008 @ 11:39PM
You are completely right. What exactly is this family doing so wrong. Their children are well cared for. They teach good family values, even if they are stricter than most of us are used to. What is so wrong with waiting for marriage instead of having unplanned pregnancies outside of wedlock, having abortions or getting venereal disease? The second issue is that it is no one's business how many children they have as long as they are taking good care of them. My husband and I are both from big families (7 kids and 5 kids) My parents wanted a big family and faced a lot of ridicule. Both of my parents worked, were never on welfare and we all grew up to be college educated. There is nothing wrong with strong family and moral values.
Stephanie 12-12-2008 @ 11:50PM
This family is nothing more than greedy and terrible. They have 18 kids plus the 2 of them. And do you know how they got to where they are? The kids are on Medicaid and they were getting food stamps and handouts from people who felt bad for them. Why should anyone feel bad for them? Feel bad for the kids, yes, but dont help the parents. She needs to learn about birth control. Thanks to her, a dozen kids in their state are going without Medicaid, all because she couldn't keep her legs closed. And on top of that, all their kids want massive families as well. I mean, come on people. I bet some of the children feel left out, how can they not? They are selfish. So what does TLC do? Gives them a TV show to promote this sickness. It's wrong!
geyes2003 12-13-2008 @ 3:04AM
I THINK THIS FAMILY IS GREAT AND EVER SINCE THE BEG OF FIRST SEASON IVE BEEN IN AWE...MICHELLE AND HER TEEN GIRLS DO A WONDERFUL JOB AS WELL AS THE DUGGAR MEN...IF YOU EVER WATCHED THE SHOW...U WOULD KNOW THEY ARE NOT ON WELFARE THEY HAVE GOOD INCOME COMING IN FROM REAL ESTATE ENDEAVORS...SO DONT HATE CONGRATULATE...CONGRATS TO THE BEST FAMILY IVE EVER SEEN ON AND OFF THE TUBE!!!
Brittany 12-13-2008 @ 12:46AM
I watch the show all the time. I really do think they do a great job for having 8 kids! As for all the ugly comments about kate all i have to say is that people should not be so quick to say bad things about her. If you had 8 kids and had a camera crew following you around all the time, you would be taped at your worst and best. So stop being hateful! Just because they are on TV does not make them any less human. Everyone has their faults. I'm sure no matter who it was on the show, someone would have something ugly to say or some made up rumor to spread around!
Ping 12-13-2008 @ 2:33PM
I located their web site an wrote them about a year ago. You see, I had 2 sons and then adopted Korean daughters indivvidually at the ages of 5, 10, 11 (her Korean parents both had leprosy) and 15 (her Korean Mother was in and out of a mental hospital.)
My children are all grown now and the 15 year old, who could speak almost NO English when I adopted her, graduated with honors and got an ROTC scholarship.
Upon graduating from her university as a math major she was commissioned a 2Lt in the US Army. She served in Iraq and was eventually stationed in Korea where she was able to see her Korean parents once more...something I'd always encouraged.
The ONLY REGRET I have is that I didn't adopt more.
SO I WROTE TO THE DUGGARS and asked why they didn't adopt some of the chidren already on this earth, that God surely put here, who need loving families.
WELL, GUESS WHAT. They didn't respond.
I WOULD THINK THEY'RE SAINTS if half their kids were adopted. But they aren't...and I don't.
Patricia 12-13-2008 @ 1:27AM
I read one negative commint about using up resources of our earth and so forth and handouts... watch a special or two on them. They built as their family with their own hands their new home, only was the inside donated to them by a company seeking to do a TV show for them...They installed systems that help cut back on pollutation and the ecomony they supply so much power with their solar system and water heating sytstem that they break even on their ulitites.. she clothes kids by using thift shops and goodwill..way to go to reuse.. she strictly budgets and they pay all their expenses with cash they earn from investments..wise senses.. Jim Bob worked as a State Rep for awhile as well and did our state right. We all need to take lessons and not use credit cards and learn to spend time with our families..not busing them around to keep them busy.. over booking our kids don't make us better parents, quaility time and momemts and being good teachers is wihat makes a difference in our lives and our childrens!
bye1967 12-13-2008 @ 2:23AM
i agree that they do a great job! good job Duggars! :)
AdriB 12-19-2008 @ 5:29PM
I agree. They seem to be doing a great job and do not act like they are the perfect family as some have criticized them as doing. Above all, they are honoring God in their lives and training their children up in that way also. I admire them and send them many blessings!
Nikki 12-19-2008 @ 2:10PM
Give me a break.
It's really pleasant to teach your children that women are nothing more than baby-making machines. The only constant in this effed-up family is knowing that for the duration of your life, your mother has constantly been pregnant. Adding more and more mouths to feed, further clustering a country already overpopulated, contributing hugely to pollution and global warming (can you even IMAGINE how much garbage this family has every week?)
And bullshit on saying that the children aren't cared for via Medicaid and the family assisted by government or other forms of aid. A handful of "real estate endeavors" in friggin' Arkansas of all places is hardly going to provide the means this family would require to live in the manner that they do. Charity, handouts, and taxpayer money afford them that. How naive are you people to buy into the Duggars' B.S.?
Karen S. 4-25-2009 @ 7:30PM
Hi Karen,
I hit REPLY, b/c yours and one other poster are the only ones I can seem to reply to. But, I do agree with you about the Duggars. They really love their kids. I enjoy watching them, even though their lifestyle is a bit controversial.
My concern though, is the post dated 12-12-08, by Stephanie. She's stating how horrible and greedy the Duggars are, b/c the kids are "on medicaid." They are NOT on Medicaid. They owe NO ONE any money. Their kids medical bills, Michelle's pregnancy needs and dr. appts are PAID for. If Stephanie would read their book, she would know that her claim for this is FALSE. If she is gonna make statements like this toward a family she DOESNT know, then she can at least get her FACTS RIGHT.
peg 12-11-2008 @ 4:59PM
Love their show ... The children are very respectful of their parents and each other.
The Love and respect between Jim Bob and Michelle is very real and very refreshing in this day n age.
Warm and loving home...wish they had been my parents!
Reply
Haydee 12-11-2008 @ 9:03PM
I have watched the Duggars for a while now. I am awed at the prolific and healthy preagnacies of Michelle and the prowess of Jim Bob. i guess attitude is all. No questions asked. It's worked for a long time and I doubt it will ever change. Go Michelle!!!
Carol 12-12-2008 @ 7:53AM
These kids are great, what a great family. This is a lot of the stupid things I read! These children are ROBOTS! Controlled by a woman that either spends her life on her back or making lists for the little robots to follow. This is not a family, it is an experiment!
Jean 12-12-2008 @ 12:44PM
What Day, time & channel is there a tv show on about them?
Like, CBS or TNT....?
Thank you!!