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Project Runway Star Says It's OK to Play Favorites
Categories: Siblings, Celeb Parenting
If anyone is qualified to speak on matters of motherhood, it's a woman who has six children. Project Runway finalist Laura Bennett brought a half-dozen people into this world, and now she has a refreshing take on playing favorites with your kids.Not only is it OK, Bennett says, it just might push your kids to work a little bit harder at succeeding, both as children and as adults. She cites one friend whose brother was so clearly the family favorite that it gave birth to a burning ambition in his sister, a drive that's served her well in the professional world.
Bennett reveals that she has "A List," and that her brood is well aware of her preferences at any given point -- so much so that they "compete" to be top of the heap.
As one of three kids, and the eldest, I am well aware of the dynamic of which Bennett speaks. For years I blackmailed my younger sister for telling me once, in a fit of pique, that "mom loves me best." Oh, man, did I get mileage out of that one.
We also had an inside joke about who was "No. 1" in my parents' eyes. While my sister was the favorite when we were younger, I held the title for nearly a decade during my 20s. My poor brother always comes in a distant third.
I have two kids of my own, and my daughter was an only child for many years. Now that she has a baby brother, she works a little harder to maintain her position in our family's rankings. While the baby's personality is still being revealed, I'm certain they will be different -- and therefore, I will react to them differently.
In my opinion, any parent who claims "I love them all the same" is an outright liar.
So what about you? Are you the favorite? Do you play favorites with your kids?
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
ame s 12-12-2008 @ 5:15PM
"Outright liar" is more than a tad bit cocky (or crappy) thing to say, isn't it?
Maybe it is because my daughters are 2 days short of being 2 years apart or the fact that their personalities and behavior is so similar, but neither is my favorite. They are 8 and 10, and this fact could change if, say, one of them becomes a prostituting, bank robbing, dog-kicking, pregnant teen on crack. I'll just have to wait and see.
I do like to tease them, though, by saying who ever does the most chores this week will be the favorite kid of the day.
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Karen 12-12-2008 @ 8:44PM
I most definately love my children the same as in equally, but I love them differently because they are total opposites of each other.
But I think playing favorites is an absolutely horrible way to motivate someone. And I guarantee that it causes a lot more resentment than motivation, and the type of resentment that often doesn't ever go away.
I suggest people find other ways of motivating their children.
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Renea Milby 12-12-2008 @ 10:26PM
I am responding to Gail E Jordon's comment on the Dugger family. There is nothing disgusting about having 18 children. My mother gave birth to 13 children plus adopted 2 more. My father died in the early 70's. My mother worked from sunup to sundown to support us., leaving one of my older sisters to raise the last 5 children. Mrs.Dugger has the blessing tobe able to stay at home with her kids, and be able to see them grow and mature into special adults. Being able to Love them all. I don't see a problem with that. She's doing a great job. So there is nothing disgusting about that. Renea R. Milby, 101 North Main Street. Galax Va.24333
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ninainindia 12-13-2008 @ 2:04AM
I think you are in the wrong post and it's not a good idea to post your full name and address on the internet.
Baron 12-15-2008 @ 9:42AM
I think it is very possible to love your children (this would apply to really anyone you love too) very equally, but it is the "like" department where things change. Think of all your siblings (or friends or family) and you most likely love them all, but you like some of them more than others. Of course, you could get into the subjective nature of things and say that love can be subjective, though, I don't think it is.
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