Lessons from the Travolta Tragedy

by Rachel Campos-Duffy (Subscribe to Rachel Campos-Duffy's posts) Jan 6th 2009 8:00AM

Categories: Celeb Parenting, Rumors, Special Needs

The death of John Travolta's son, Jett, is stirring up a lot of controversy. While Jett's famous parents attribute his seizures to Kawasaki Syndrome, a rare lymph-node disorder, many who knew the 16 year old boy believed he exhibited signs of autism. Autism, a condition that afflicts half a million American children, also causes seizures in about twenty-five percent of cases.

The Travolta's, however, are devout members of Scientology, and their religion would not have permitted them to acknowledge a diagnosis of autism or treat his ailments with medication (recall Tom Cruise, another famous Scientologist, and his feuds with Brooke Shields and Matt Lauer over the misuse of prescription drugs) As a result, there is already plenty of speculation that this tragic incident could have been avoided.

Frankly, I don't know enough about autism or the very secretive and controversial world of Scientology to make any judgments; since an autopsy cannot determine whether a person has autism, we may never know. All I can say is that my heart goes out to this family. Clearly, they loved their son and based on the testimony of an EMT who was on the scene, were heartbroken and distraught at not being able to save Jett.

In the past year, I have come to know of several people who have lost children, including a very close and dear friend of mine. It is one of the saddest things I have ever experienced. When we learn of someone losing a child, we can't help but think of our own kids and how fleeting and fragile our time with them is. I pray that those who have lost children will find the strength to go on and that the rest of us will honor their grief by gaining a deeper appreciation for the time we have with our own children.

P.S. Here's my annual and traditionally late Christmas card. I sincerely wish you and your families a happy and blessed 2009! Though I cannot always answer all your comments personally, I read each and every one of them and absolutely love hearing from all of you (even if you have a bone to pick with me!). So keep them coming!

Comments (17)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

karen 1-06-2009 @ 11:03AM

of what i know about autism there is no meds for it, however, if he had a known seizure disorder, there are meds for them, but sadly, still do not prevent all seizures. a dear friend of mine lost her three year old back in may and is still not able to go back to work yet. her loss has effected everyone around her. even today if i think about that day at her house and having to drive her home from work knowing he had passed will drive me to tears. it makes me more greatful for every second i have with my son.

linda 1-24-2009 @ 2:13PM

There is no one medication for autism. However, many individuals with the diagnosis of an autistic spectrum disorder take various medications to target specific symptoms. Temple Grandin writes at length on how medication has improved her life and reduced problematic symptoms. I've worked with many individuals with autism. The boy's toe walking, the way in which he was led by his family, and his overall demeanor are certainly consistent with the diagnosis

Michelle 1-06-2009 @ 1:00PM

I agree with everything you said about the Travolta's. It is such a tragedy, I can't imagine the pain they are going through. I came close to losing one of my daughters three years ago when she got an acute infection. She was fine the night before, barely breathing the next morning. I have learned a lot from that experience; to never take any moment, no matter how seemingly insignificant, for granted. Life is so fragile and precious.

Love your Christmas/New Year's card. Your daughter is quite the artist!

Melissa 1-11-2009 @ 12:33PM

I myself have lost a son. I think one of the only things that have saved my sanity was reaching out for appropriate help. For the Travolta family, I would probably suggest they do the same. A great resource for getting help with emotional trauma for a celebrity would be from Deborah King through the Deborah King Center. Her book is amazing as well, "Truth Heals." Inspiring work for all those interested in healing themselves and others.

http://www.deborahkingcenter.com/

Nicole 1-06-2009 @ 7:06PM

The Jett Travollra issus is just a tragedy no matter what was "going on" or didn't "go on", very sad. I read your blog every Tuesday. Really I wish you blogged everyday! I enjoy reading it every week! I wanted to chime in and say your daughter is a very talented artist! I'm so curious if she's had professional art lessons. Also, thank you for sharing your holiday card! You have a beautiful happy family! I wish you all the best in the new year!

Patricia 1-06-2009 @ 7:11PM

You admit you know little about scientology, yet state that they didn't acknowledge the diagnosis of autism, or use medications to control his seizures. Both of these statements are pure speculation on your part, yet you state them as facts.

EH 1-09-2009 @ 3:14PM

Agreed...these speculations fuel the sad state of gossip reporting we find abundant these days.
Rachel, the Travolta's have stated their son was on anti-seizure medications which are not 100% preventative. They obviously, by most reports, did everything possible short of sitting in front of him 24 hours a day. Anti-seizure Medications, baby monitors, door alarms and 2 nanny's is about all any parent can do in these circumstances.
A public diagnosis of Autism would not have provided more protection or safety for a child with seizures.
And how exactly could this tragedy have been prevented?

Liz 1-06-2009 @ 9:53PM

As a parent that has lost a child, my son Joshua was killed exactlly 2 months before his 18th birthday and the day he would have graduated from high school. People are well meaning and compassionate, but they think that telling us that our children are in a better place, that's supposed to help. It doesn't, so please carefully consider your comments before making them...a parent is not supposed to outlive their children under any circumstance. This is a time for Jett's family to be able to mourn in private or public, but it is their choice and they must deal with this tragedy in their own way. There aren't lessons in greiving, some shut down, some over compensate, there is not right way or wrong way or time limit to be given. It's been almost 8 years and it seems as though it was yesterday. My prayers go out to anyone that has lost a child under any circumstance.

Sifrina 1-06-2009 @ 10:10PM

Agreed. I have never had someone close to me go through this, and I can't imagine how I'd try to help them survive such a painful loss, but just hearing about another parent's loss of a child makes my heart heavy for days. I've been thinking about the Travoltas' loss every day since I heard of it, but I would be just as saddened to hear of such sad news coming from any family, not just a high profile one. (Thank you, Liz, for sharing your experience and for helping us understand how to support parents who go through this; I'm very sorry.)

I suspect many other parents reflecting on this sad news have, like me, spent extra time in recent days staring even longer at their own beautiful blessings in complete awe, with heart-bursting love and unfailing appreciation for their own miraculously healthy children.

Rachel - Wishing your family (and every family on this blog!) the healthiest, safest and happiest New Year!

Lesley 1-06-2009 @ 10:22PM

Rachel, per the media, like Associated Press etc, who gets their information first-hand, Jett was on anti-seizure medication and died of a seizure. It's becoming secretive only when you don't look. For example to what Scientology says. Per their website(s) they are not opposed to prescription drugs or any medication to address physical illnesses, including seizures, epileptic fits and so on. This whole controversy has been invented and blown up by the usual "critics' of Scientology, who - if you look again - couldn't care less about Jett Travolta. I really don't understand why you are blowing in the same horn as those ghouls.

JHZ 1-09-2009 @ 9:05AM

Lesley,

I am not about to criticize the Travoltas during such a painful and heartbreaking time, nor will I speculate as to their Scientology beliefs in relation to their son's condition...however, since you are so interested in facts, it has been reported from reputable media sources (ABC, Fox News, Associated Press) that Jett had been taken OFF of his seizure medication because his parents felt it was not working...he had previously been medicated, but at the time of his tragic death, he was not taking his anti-seizure medication any longer. The entire situation is just terrible, and regardless of their beliefs, it is obvious that they loved their child and must be grieving immensley. My prayers go out to them.

Kathy 1-07-2009 @ 11:31AM

I've read several articles that have stated that everyone who knew Jett considered him to be a normal 16 year old boy. In no way to I mean to speak ill of the deceased but when I saw his very first picture something struck me as wrong. He just has this look on his face that makes me think he has some sort of mental handicap. Plus there is a video somewhere of all of them leaving a restaurant (I think) and the bodyguard is practically hold him and guiding him along. That is not normal for a 16 year old boy. Whatever the case may be, this is a horrible tragedy and my deepest sympathies go out to the Travolta family.

And your Christmas card is absolutely beautiful. Did you design it and print it yourself or have it done professionally? I love the amount of pics and that you were able to include the homemade art work. It's beautiful!!

kelly 1-07-2009 @ 8:45PM

Agreed~
As a special ed teacher who has worked with many children with autism, I know enough to say that no case of autism is the same. There is so much we do not know about the brain, and especially how the autistic brain functions. Maybe he had a seizure disorder, maybe he had autism, and maybe his condition was unclear to his parents and the medical field. The fact is that these people lost their child, and there's no greater tragedy. At this point, any criticism of the Travoltas is cruel and really, the lowest of the low.

Thanks for sharing your Christmas card. What a beautiful family!

Lynn 1-08-2009 @ 9:23AM

I have experiened losing a child. My son died 6 years ago from heart surgery. He was 19 years old, full of life, graduating from ECPI in 2 months with a job in computer technology waiting for him. He was born with Aortic Stenosis which is a narrowing in the Aortic valve. When he was 19, his heart started to become enlarged and they said it was time for his surgery. He went into the OR laughing, smiling, looking forward to getting this over with and going on with his life. At 6ft 2" 240# he was grown enough according to the doctors. I kissed him and told him I loved him and watched him walk away with the nurse. He died 4 days later even though the valve replacement was working fine, he was never able to get off the bypass machine. He was my baby boy and the pain I feel every day without him is sometimes unbearable. I still have my other son which is my life and always will be. There is no right way or wrong way to grieve, but you need to find some way to move forward with your own life. That doesn't mean you don't miss them, love them, or have forgotten them. You have your own ways of handling your grief and no one should tell you how or what to do. I wear a pendant around my neck every day with his picture on it. Strangers will ask about him and I get to share his life and how wonderful he is, which is a great comfort to me. Your life will be forever changed,
but I love telling people about my sons and am so proud of my children and the love we share. Do I wish I had more time with Buck, yes, but I cherish the 19 years we had and the memories that keep me going each day. My heart goes out to
the Travolta family and every family that has lost a child. Keep your faith in whatever you believe and keep your child's memory alive
by sharing your times with others and sharing the joy they brought to you and all around them. God bless!

jojo 1-11-2009 @ 5:01PM

it is obvious that JT loved his son very much.who are we to think otherwise. tom cruise said on the talk show the view that they do believe in meds and seeing the doctor when necessary. thats coming right from the source of a good friend of JT.

open up your hearts! peace and love

by jojo

Allison 1-12-2009 @ 2:56PM

I enjoy reading your blog although I'm a Democratic working mom! Even though it may seem that we have differences, I appreciate your ability to discuss issues.

I watched you on MTV and was sorry you didn't make it to The View...

And you have a beautiful family. Love the stories. Thanks for sharing them.

Chere 1-12-2009 @ 3:40PM

Rachel,
Thanks for blogging. My heart goes out to the Travolta family. No matter what the situation is someone lost a child and that is the true tragedy. I know of a young man who just passed away on Friday who had cancer, his dad took him to India for a new treatment he tried everything possible to keep his son alive. Unfortunately, he passed away. But his father literally did everything possible for him, I am sure just as the Travoltas did, and like any parent would. We as parents are so blessed to have our children, and I thank god for my daughter. My prayers and thoughts are with the Travoltas.

By the way fabulous Christmas Card, your family is gorgeous.Thanks for your blog and I wish you a happy and safe 2009!

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