Facebook - Does it Make You a Bad Mom?

What about parents who do go to work and then leave their child with a sitter? Or parents in the military? Or parents who have demanding jobs like nurses, cops, firefighters? Do any of those choices make them a bad parent? No. So big deal if you have a facebook, myspace or blog as a stay at home parent?? Why doesn't everyone remember how hard it is to be a parent and cut eachother some slack.

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I am a grandmother now & my children were both born in the 80s. Do I think it's wrong? No way ! Back then yes to get some "me time" it was talking on the phone & all moms need their time to have to escape for a while, I agree with all comments that as long as your not neglecting your child by all means go ahead & have some harmless enjoyment.It is a much different time now then back in the 80s & the pressure on a parent is enormous now more then before. Please do take my advice & I am sure you have heard it before- time is precious they will be children for a short time & it really goes by too fast , it seems like yesterday my children were just toddlers, how I really do miss those times They are on their own now my first grandchild a beautiful baby girl was born in August & I love her so much.I also miss my children being small & hanging on me & waking up almost every morning with 1 sleeping next to me & the other spread out at the end of the bed even though my husband & I put them to sleep in their own bed it never failed how they would sneak in while we slept, till they started school. Wishing you all the very best & may God bless you & your family !

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Maybe people who put their lives out there for the world to see don't have anything to hide. To say that we deserve wackos is like saying a girl who wears a short dress deserves to be raped...or an analogy I like better, it could be like saying a guy who mouths off deserves to have his tongue cut off. None of those statements are correct.
As for social website making women bad moms, absolutely not. Bad moms are bad moms for neglecting their kids, and that can happen for many reasons.
I raised mine in an era before computers were everywhere. Guess what? There were women who neglected their kids.
I certainly resent the statement the original blogger made that raising children was not intellectually stimulating.
It certainly can be isolating...but sometimes that forces us to read, learn and just think.
Blanket statements are always wrong!

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sorry kirsten , ever hear of email? if you want "to catch up with old friends" (more like relive your "glory days" from h.s. and college) you can email these people and send photos. facebook and myspace are juvenile sites. and to make matters worse these sites are filled with computer viriuses and trojans which do a number on your computer. if you want "me time" try doing it face to face so you can actually communicate like an adult and recharge your batteries away from your kids.

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I am sick of this. If a woman is fortunate enough to have a husband who makes enough money in order for her to be able to stay home and take care of the children, whats wrong with that? People who criticize this are just jealous because either they are A) in bad relationships or, B) their husbands/partners don't make enough money for them to do this, I doubt single mothers would be jealous because they are in a different category and have no choice but to work. But anyone else? You should be so lucky as to get to stay home!

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I think that we are teaching our children that socialness comes from a computer. I learned how to be a good friend to other people by watching the way my mother interacted with her friends. You can't do that over the computer. While it definitely has great applications, you should not try to replace human interaction with a computer. It starts off with people you know in real life, but usually ends with new people you will never meet becoming your best friends. No, these sites aren't always "bad", but for the most part, the time you take to maintain them (unless you are doing it after the kids are in bed) will inherently take away from the time you need with your children. I am at home with all four of my children 24/7, as I homeschool them, and I always wait until they are occupied with school or sleeping to do anything on the computer.

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I'm sorry, to consider Facebook and MySpace intellectually stimulating is funny enough for me to eat a pamper. If you want to goof off on the computer, go ahead, but don't pretend it's anything else.

It's better than getting addicted to soap operas .

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It's so funny....why does it have to be intellectually stimulating? Anyone read People magazine on their downtime or watching Oprah while the kdis are napping? This is just one more outlet for anyone to have while they are inbetween laundry loads, runny noses, and kissing boo boo's. I also think it's funny that people act like social interaction has to be one or the other...internet or real playdates. Why not both? And with people thinking this is teaching kids how to cyber socialize instead of real live people...my kids have no idea what facebook is. Luckily, at our house, we have figured out an amzing way to balance a clean household, clothed/fed/happily played with kids, playdates, DR appts, bills paid, pets cared for/vet visits, grocery shopping, sports for the kids, yeah...I could go on...like Mom's really ever sit home and JUST go on Facebook? Give me a break...

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Golly! How did the human race survive before all of this "nurturing" was developed! You realize that a great deal of current"parenting" is modern marketing in action, with the goal of selling books and other parenting accessories. The primary goal of marketing is to create a need, and the goals of parenting are ripe for the latest theory of psychobabble. I'm not a psychologist, but I recognise a lot of these "parenting techniques" for what they are: claptrap. The authors take extreme examples of failure and success at parenting and use carefully chosen statistics to validate the pet theory around which they built their book. Just like everything else, facebook and myspace aren't bad things used reasonably. In the prehistoric times before myspace, my ex-wife forgot to pick my girls up at school because she was enraptured in a chatroom. She rejoined the world when the neighbor's kid came over to get them to come out and play. I wouldn't necessarily have branded her as a bad parent for that singular instance, but certainly a momentary idiot. By the way, you mothers who sit on the floor at the public library or Barnes and Noble, reading very loudly to your kid and getting in the way of everyone else, you aren't impressing anyone. That doesn't make you a better parent. It doesn't even make you appear to be a better parent. It makes you and your kid a nuisance to everyone. Buy or check out the book and go home and read it to your kid.

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In the 'early' days of facebook/my space, etc. I thought they were juvenille and silly. Now that I follow CNN and they have a facebook account, I no longer think of them as I once did.

As for facebook, etc. being intellectually stimualting, I'm sure that for some these sites are for others they are an escape from diapers, refereeing, feeding the guinea pigs, cleaning the kitchen and so forth. These places are what you make of them.

For the moms that spend endless hours on the computer and use it for risky behavior, they are the ones that may need to take a closer look at their parenting skills; and even after doing so, they may be fine moms in their own right. Who am I to judge?

There most definitely is a double standard among men and women/moms and dads. I've seen this played out in my home. When daddy is at the computer, you run to mommy; no questions asked. When mommy is at the computer you run to mommy - no matter what daddy is doing. Be it reading the newspaper, watching football or on the phone, it matters not. Mommy is always there and because I've allowed it to happen, interruptions are okay.

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I agree with your sentiment about the book reading at B & N or else where. Just because a place is "child friendly" this does not entitle parents to abuse it to the detriment of someone else's enjoyment. Just last week I was at a coffee shop that had a "kid's corner" and preschool moms were there enjoying their coffee and conversation while the children played in the "corner." The children were very loud and made it quite difficult for some of us to enjoy our conversation. I do not begrudge these moms, I was once one like you (my kids are in school now) but I would appreciate parents taking the time to teach their children social graces when out in public. My kids were taught how to behave in public places like coffee shops and so forth and if they chose to be loud, rude or obnoxious, after their warning, we went home and there were a number of occasions where we had to leave.

It could be your child's way of telling you they're not ready for so much "room" and freedom. Or maybe it's their way of telling you they just don't want to be there. In any case, set boundaries, say what you mean and mean what you say.

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I was a SAHD with my daughter for nearly four years, and I'll tell you this much, if I hadn't had a mini gym, my computer for writing a novel, and reading during her nap times, or when she got in her hour or two of TV, I would have slit my wrists. Kidding. Seriously, if you can't get some adult time and your mind stimulated, your resentment grows and you get cranky. Then what kind of father or mother are you? An unappealing one.

But if you're sitting there IMing and texting while the child is in need of attention, or you just stick them in front of the TV all day while you go about your jolly way on the computer, then you definitley suck as a parent.

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"it's not the most intellectually stimulating job around"? What are you saying? Do you have any kids? If you do Then I feel sorry for them. Anyone who has raised kids knows that It tke all kinds of stimulating, intellectual, physcal, and spiritual, to do a ggod job. So I take issue with that lead-off comment. I geuss if you are on the internet all the time you would not be aware of this fact. Too often we make the stay at home mom look and feel bad,and this is not fair. Our children are our most important resource and more energy and time must be put into them. Just as any other "product", the more time and effort you put into it the better the product will be.

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well im a stay at home mother of a 2 month old and i believe that there is nothing wrong with being on on online or talking on any other social networking site. we too need to interact with others. it can be very lonely being home all day with just your child. there is a double standard when it comes to fathers. they can go out and drink with they're buddies and be online looking at god knows what or better yet playing some violent video games and its not a problem but god forbide a mother does any of that shes a bad mother. o please.

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