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Dad Forced to Continue Paying Child Support for Kids That Aren't His
Filed under: Opinions
When things don't work out between parents, it can be rough. The road to separation and divorce is rarely a pretty one. Normally, the kids get to stay with one parent the majority of the time, and the other ends up supporting them financially. So it was with Pasqualino Cornelio who paid a good amount of child support for his twins with ex-wife. In fact, Cornelio paid support for the kids up until they were sixteen. At one point the ex allegedly demanded more money and restricted his visits with the children, at which point a DNA test was submitted. The result was sad on a number of different levels -- the kids weren't his, at least not biologically.
Well, at some point Cornelio decided he should no longer have to pay support for the children. He also hired a lawyer to help him get back all the money he'd paid in child support. A judge thought otherwise and ordered the Cornelio to continue paying. Justice Katherine van Rensburg pf the Ontario Superior Court felt Cornelio was the only father the twins had ever known, and that DNA means little with regard to the bonds between parents and children. I couldn't agree more. Some in the province, however, including Brian Jenkins of the Fathers Are Capable Too group, say that the ex-wife committed fraud (by having an affair and then claiming the kids were Cornelio's) and should be held accountable.
What do you think? Should he have to keep paying? Should he get any of his money back? I think the latter question is ludicrous. Perhaps there could be some compromise, but I don't think the children should have to suffer for the deeds of the parents.
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 2)
1-20-2009 @ 3:32PM
Melissa said...Ok, so these were your kids for 16 years, at least in your heart, and you are the ONLY dad they have ever known. Bad enough the parents split up, but why drag the poor kids through court, telling everyone they are not biologically yours, and then DEMAND you be paid back for the money you spent to support those children that you believed were yours for 16 years? Yes, what she did was wrong, IF she knew....but hey, did anyone think that MAYBE, just maybe she herself did not know they weren't his. Horrible situation, all around, dad just made it worse.
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1-20-2009 @ 4:40PM
awiser said...Sure, she didn't know that she had sex with someone else! This woman knowingly committed fraud against this man. At the very least, he should be allowed to stop making payments (the real dad should be sought for this) and a case against her for fraud should be pursued.
1-20-2009 @ 4:27PM
Jenni said...Really? You think that she didn't know there was a possibility that they might be not be his? Do you think that she thought that he was the only man she slept with? She may not have known that they weren't his; but she knew there was a possibility!
She made this situation worse. He was an innocent (and responsible) victim for paying all these years and would have continued to pay if she hadn't demanded more!
1-20-2009 @ 5:12PM
monstergg said...This is why we all need to insist that family law case files be sealed!!! No child should be a victim of someone snooping into the affairs of his/her parents. The press needs to stay out of everyone's family life.
1-20-2009 @ 5:04PM
Melissa said...whoa! i wasn't saying she didn't know there was a possibility! of course she knew there was a chance they were not his! i was just saying he made the situation worse by demanding his money back! yes, she was wrong, and the biological father should be gone after for the next 2 years, but my point was, this guy should not have dragged his kids (and for 16 years that's what they were to him) into it. what is he going to do? abandon them because they don't share dna? what about the bonds he formed with them? what about soccer games and school plays? dna does not make a father (believe me, i know from experience), a MAN makes a father.
1-20-2009 @ 6:52PM
Hubert ingram said...i think a father is a father these children only no dad its kinda late to change there minds who there dad is to them hes there father .so he should still pay .why hurt the kids there not to blame
3-23-2009 @ 3:51PM
Baltimore said...THAT IS BULL SHIT SHE KNEW THAT THE KIDS WERENT HIS. HOW DO YOU SCRUW AROUND AND DONT KNOW THEY DODNT BELONG TO YOUR HUSBAND. SHE KNEW . IF THINK YOU FELL THAT BECAUSE YOU ARE DOING THE SAME THING.
IM A WOMAN AND I DONT THINK ITS RIGHT TO MAKE ANOTH ER MAN PAY FOR ANOTHER MANS SEED. I YOU FEEL THAT PAYMENTS SHOULD BE MADE THEN WHY DONT YOU PAY IT.
IF I WERE HIM I WOULD GOT BACK TO COURT AGAIN. IM SURE IF SHE HAD TO PAY HIM SHE WOULD HAVE A PROBLEM WITH.
GOOD LUCK DAD I HOPE JUSTICE PREVAILS.
3-23-2009 @ 4:00PM
Melissa said...Wow, grammar and spell checks are wonderful things, lady....and I am a single mom, and I actually KNOW who my child's father is. He hasn't paid a cent to me, and he hasn't seen his child in almost 2 years now....believe me, she doesn't know the difference, she has uncles who care for her like a father would....that's why I said it takes more than DNA to make a father, it takes a man.
4-03-2009 @ 10:49AM
gesnow39 said...It sounds to me as if these were your children in your heart and that is what children need the most. This is not about parents and all too often, divorced couples forget to think of their kids first. I think that the ex wife should be held responsible in some way that does not include a monetary settlement and dad's visitation should be restored. I am sure he doesn't really want money back that he spent caring for children that look to him as their father. It would stick with them for a very long time.
1-20-2009 @ 3:49PM
Katie said...I think it is unreasonable to demand the money back, but I believe that shelling out anymore money is ridiculous. The sorry mother needs to go after the biological father if she wants continued support. If she's sorry enough to sleep around then she needs to suffer. Too many people want others to be held responsible for their actions, maybe it will lead to more personal responsibility when mothers have to tell their kids to do without because they are too busy whoring around to care about the future welfare of their own children.
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1-20-2009 @ 4:24PM
Jenni said...No, he shouldn't get back what he has payed. No, he shouldn't have to pay anymore. No, money does not a father make.
If all these years he has continued to be a father to these children, then he should continue to do so; but not be held financially accountable. I would think that after 16 years, IF he has been a father to them (as opposed to just a bank), he would have a bond with these children and want to continue a fatherly relationship with them.
But that is where his responsibility ends. As a matter of fact, his continuing to spend time with these children would show a great strength of character. He should continue to spend time with them; heck, when they are together, he should probably continue to buy them clothes, take them on trips, etc... But that's where his financial responsibilities lie.
If the biological father knew of these children's existence and the posibility that they were his, this dad should be going to him and asking him to pay back all that support that he gave to those children.
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1-20-2009 @ 4:41PM
shombuddiesmommy said...I have more questions. Does the biological father have any responsibility to the children? Although the sixteen year olds haven't a choice of mother or father according to the judge, do they have a choice to meet their biological parent? And isn't what the mother did fraudulant or at least perjury and punishable by law? I feel for the guy, he should at least be able to recover child support from the real parent. This is really unfair.
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1-20-2009 @ 4:42PM
ame s said...I'm sorry for my unpopular opinion, but I think the mother and the biological father should be responsible to paying back every penny. I also think the mother deserves jail time for fraud. Even if she wasn't positive that this man was the father of the twins, she knew it was a possiblility and allowed him to open his wallet every month for her deceit and betrayal.
I think he should sue them both in a different court. If I were on the jury, I would vote in favor of him being reimbursed.
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1-28-2009 @ 3:16PM
Snowwhitekappa said...I agree Women who pull this need to be held accountable she needs to pay back every dime and I think jail time should be considered. Women like this need to be taught a lesson. Period.
1-20-2009 @ 5:26PM
Kelly said...I think that this is the fault of the mother. Had she not gotten greedy and asked for more money and stopped letting him see the kids; the dad and the twins would have never known about her cheating. The fact that the judge is making this man continue to pay for the affair that this woman had is wrong. He should appeal the ruling. The ex is probably with the actual father of the twins now. (I 've seen it happen)
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1-20-2009 @ 6:30PM
Heather said...This could go either way. This man has been a father to the twins for all of their lives. When he and the mother split up, the drama began. If he is to continue being Daddy to the children, he should continue paying. Fatherhood is not about DNA, it's about being there for the child, taking care of them, teaching them right and wrong, and making them responsible adults. I once saw on a cheesy plaque, "Anyone can be a father, it takes a real man to be a Daddy." He can choose, do the kids need a FATHER (who apparently hasn't been around) or a DADDY, who has been there for them? If he chooses DADDY, like any real man should, he'll need to keep paying for the kids. But it shouldn't be to the mother, it should be either to a court-appointed assistant or to the kids, depending on how they are with the necessary skills to live on one's own. The kids should also have a choice, they're old enough to know what they want. Do they want to still be in contact with the man who raised them or the man who contributed to their DNA? If the kids and he make a mutual decision to not ocntinue as they have, then he should get his money back, but that way everyone has had a chance to stop it, except the Mom, her opinion is not important at this point. She made the choices that led to this, now she needs to deal with the consequences.
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1-20-2009 @ 11:13PM
Jenni said...A daddy doesn't equal money. It equals the time he spends with them. Let him pay for the things they use at his house; let him decide on what he is going to pay for them. If he truly is a daddy, he will anyway.
1-22-2009 @ 6:01PM
heatherrenee1985 said...I completely agree. If you look around mid-post, I say "Fatherhood is not about DNA, it's about being there for the child, taking care of them, teaching them right and wrong, and making them responsible adults."
If he and the children no longer wish to continue their relationship, mutually, why should a court require them to? I sincerely doubt any REAL DADDY (not just the biological father) would do something like that, but it is an option. We only know what this story tells us, the twins may not like him or may not want to continue, they may wish to meet their biological father and continue on in that respect. However, you are correct. Money does not a Daddy or father make. It's about being there and being a parent, despite if your actions are unpopular with your kids or their friends. It's about keeping them safe and raising them right. I wish more men felt this way, we wouldn't have some of the problems I see with other people around my (fairly youthful at 23) age. I firmly believe that a child will be more successful if he or she is taught, not necessarily in a two-parent home, but a two-parent LIFE, the right way to act and the right way to treat another person. Sometimes, it's worse for Mom and Dad to live together, it was in my case. They fought way too much, but they were both involved in my life and I'm happy, successful and well-adjusted. I treat others with the same respect I expect from them, thanks to my parents "punishing" me when I was out of line. BTW, punish doesn't mean violence, it means I was corrected in my error, just to clarify for anyone. Thank you for your opinion though!
3-04-2009 @ 9:02AM
Nancy Doyle said...I agree. The "mother" should not be able to get her hands on any of the money.She created this mess and she should have to answer for her deeds!
1-20-2009 @ 7:35PM
Fran said...Here's my comment. Why was a DNA test requested in the first place? That is not typically ordered when a change in child support is requested. He must have been questioning whether the children were his right from the beginning.
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